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Today, I was wondering how the world would be different if, through whatever means necessary for it to be possible, some of our thoughts were randomly broadcast out loud to those around us. Kind of like a bull-horn type affair.
Because it’d be random, one would never know when or what thoughts would be amplified. Would people have learned to adapt, to keep those dangerous or embarrassing thoughts tamped down in their brains in some way? Or would the world be more accepting of these random audible bursts of thought? Would we become more thick-skinned or thin-skinned people?
Having given practically no thought to this, I think people would have learned to keep thoughts like “boy is that guy ever ugly” from happening, for fear of that thought being a random burst. I also think we’d be a more sexually liberated society, because we’d be hearing people’s thoughts like “Great ass!”. I think we’d be a more honest society. Whether that’d be good or bad, I don’t really know.

Would we have more friends or less friends?

Well, really, seven of sixteen. Yes, once again I manage to get 7 correct picks out of a potential 16. Yes, that is a statistic that is less than random guessing would have garnered.
But I’m not gonna give up. In fact, I’m gonna take the opportunity each week (until I get bored with the whole affair – kinda like my Word of the Day posts) to test out different approaches and theories in regards to picking winning football teams.

So, this week and last, I tried to pick who would win each game. Each time I got 7 out of 16 correct. For the upcoming weekend, I am going to pick who I think will win each game, and then present the opposite team as the winner. This should net me a third week record of 9-16.

Let the experimental picking begin.

Lordy, lordy, look who’s 39.

Yes, today is my 39th birthday.
Happy Birthday, Mom.
Thirty-nine sounds like an ‘old’ age to be. I don’t have the “oh my god, what have I done/will I do with my life, I need to leave my mark” panic that some people do around this point in their lives. The only regret or sadness I have is that my body has aged more than my mind. In my brain, I still feel like a twenty-seven year old (the pinnacle age to be, I suppose), but my body tells me otherwise. I’m the anti-Dorian Gray. Sometimes, I walk by a mirror and I think “who the hell is that old geezer?”. And I think the regret is there because I still believe that I could reverse the trend. There’s still time to get healthier.

So, it’s not the “time’s running out, when will I write that great novel” neuroses that occupies my mind. It’s more a sighing of “I couldn’t play a competitive set of tennis now”.

The “write a novel, quick!” panic will likely strike next year when I turn four-oh-my-god. By that time, of course, I’ll have completely given up the belief that I can still improve my body and physical health, and all I’ll have left are frettings over more intellectual pursuits.

Despite a first week score of 7-9 (a .438 percentage), and the vow to never pick again, I feel compelled to attempt to vindicate myself. Therefore, here are my NFL picks for week two. WINNER in all caps.

St. Louis at ATLANTA – Both teams are now undefeated. The one thing I can guarantee is that neither will be undefeated for long. In fact, the once-might Rams will only have a few more hours to enjoy their perfects-so-far season. The Falcons will have about 7 more days before the ’72 Dolphins can stop worrying about Atlanta threatening their Perfect Season.

WASHINGTON at N.Y. Giants – It’s still early, but I may have to re-evaluate my stance on the Redskins’ potential this year. Perhaps Portis was their missing ingredient. While I still expect them to fall apart before season’s end, they’ll take it to the Giants this weekend.

SAN FRANCISCO at New Orleans – Here’s the question regarding this game. This week, was Hurricane Ivan more a distraction to the Saints than not having a quarterback was to the 49’ers. I’m saying San Fran wins only because the Saints were more concerned with the blowing Ivan this week than they were the sucking 49’ers.

Carolina at KANSAS CITY – Are people expecting the Panthers to do good this year? I think people are thinking that. I don’t know ’bout that, but I do know it’s tough to win in KC. The Chiefs should have won last week. They’ll do so this week.

DENVER at Jacksonville – I don’t know why, but I find it hard to bet on the Jags to win. I’m not a big fan of Denver, but I suspect they’ll do okay.

Chicago at GREEN BAY – I am so confident that the Packers will beat the Bears that I fully expect the Bears to prevail. Not really, but maybe. Still, I’m picking Packers.

HOUSTON at Detroit – I am giving the Texans one more week – this one – before I bail on them as the surprise team of the season. If they don’t beat the Lions, they simply don’t deserve that recognition.

INDIANAPOLIS at Tennessee – I’m still thinking the Colts will be in the SuperBowl this year (yes, I expect the Patriots to finally fail. Damn I hate their skillful flukiness.), and they should handle the Titans this weekend. In fact, I really wouldn’t want to be the Titans this weekend. I expect big numbers from the Colts offense.

PITTSBURGH at Baltimore – How many losses will the Ravens get before people stop calling them a SuperBowl contending team. After this weekend, they’ll be 0-2. Will that be enough for people to start jumping off the bandwagon. Yep, it will.

SEATTLE at Tampa Bay – The “we scored!” pirate cannon won’t be going off very often for the Buccaneers this weekend. Seattle should win this one.

NEW ENGLAND at Arizona – The only time I want to capitalize the Patriots name is when I write I HATE THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS. Still, only a fool (or someone who performs worse than .438 in the first week) would bet against that Pats in this game. (watch out for the Cardinals victory!)

Cleveland at DALLAS – They lost last week, but I still think they’re gonna be a contending team this year. Cowboys over Browns at home. Sounds good to me.

NY JETS at San Diego – I was so close to going the other way on this one. Mostly, though, because I ‘want’ the Jets to fail more than I ‘expect’ them too. The Chargers surprised me last week. Maybe their decade of funk is coming to an end. I’ll be so happy to be wrong about this pick.

BUFFALO at Oakland – I’m a sucker when it comes to the Raiders. I so want them to lose that I’ll even pick against them in games where I really think they’ll win, like this one. Okay, the Bills may win, but not likely. Still, I’m picking Bills because the football gods may read this blog and my pick may end up being a factor in the outcome.

MIAMI at Cincinatti – Straight up, I’ll tell you that I pick the Dolphins when I shouldn’t because they’re my team (and because of that football gods thing from above). Still, if there’s any hope to having a respectable season, they’re gonna have to win a game like this one. I honestly expect the Dolphins to win this weekend.

Minnesota at PHILADELPHIA – When games like this are imagined, people expect a high-scoring, fun and wild game. The result is usually a low-scoring sombre affair. Not this time. Both teams are gonna light it up this week, and this’ll be the game of the week. Eagles win because of home field advantage.

My goal for this weekend it to get my average above .500. Note, above .500, not at .500. Therefore I need to go 10-6 in my picks to get me to 17-15 for the season.
Piece of cake.

Yes, I got in the car this morning and drove to work, my nemesis.
Yes, I pulled out onto the busy Route 2 into Charlottetown, my nemesis.
Yes, my brakes failed, my nemesis.
No, I didn’t die, my nemesis.

Your attempt to have me killed by cutting my brake lines failed.
—————-

A couple of days ago, the brake warning light came on, on the car’s dashboard. Took it to our mechanic (it’s kind of nice to have a mechanic who knows you by name. Not so nice when he has your contact phone number practically memorized), and he topped up the brake fluid. Said “if the light comes on again, you’ll probably have to get it repaired’.
Last night, the brakes were working perfectly. This morning… no brakes. Or, barely any brakes. Interestingly, though, the brake warning light did not come on this time. It’s rather discomforting to come up to the intersection of Route 2 and the Ch’town Bypass, and your brakes can only muster to coast you to an eventual stop. Discomforting, indeed.

By the way, I don’t think I have any nemesis (or nemesii?). Unless you can call ‘debt’ a nemesis. If so, then that nemesis is killing me slowly.

I’ve been a fan of Mark Ramsey’s movie review site MovieJuice for a while.
He’s a sharp writer and packs a lot of funny lines and smart sarcasm into his reviews. Even with movies he likes, he enjoys taking pot shots at the stars and movie business in general.

If you like snarky, funny writing, and if you like movies, I’d be surprised if you didn’t like MovieJuice. Check it out.

Here’s a sample of his style from his review of “Skycaptain…”

“Aleht the amphibious squadron!” says Angelina Jolie. Never has an actress uttered more silly British commands than Jolie, who captains the all-female amphibians like synchronized swimmers with guns. “Ready assholt teams!” she yells. “Ahm clusteh tohpedoes and stick clewse to unit fohmation!” she commands. “Retuhn my Oscah to the Academy with my profoundest apohlogies!” she shouts. With her little military cap and her black uniform, Angie looks like she should be handling Jude Law’s luggage.

Well, I got 7 picks right out of a possible 16.
With much shame, I vow to give up publicly prognosticating football games for good. Or at least for the season.

Last night’s Six Feet Under was, for the most part, amazing.
A couple of plot points that were a bit too soap-opera in their melodramatic unbelievability. But such great melodramatic unbelievability.

Some absolutely incredible scenes. The scene where Rico apologizes was perfect. The scene where Late Nate and David talk, fantastic. Yes, David, it is that simple “You can do anything, you lucky bastard, you’re alive.” The scene where Nate comes home, wonderful.

Overall, the season was miss and hit. It started out pretty rough (compared to its previous seasons’ standards) but by mid-season was finding its stride again.

I didn’t really like the whole Claire arc this season. She turned into an art-school asshole.

It will be far too long until next season begins.

My first day of school. Grade One. Very nervous. I believe we may have been a few minutes late. My mother takes me into the school, asks somebody where I go. Somebody points to a room. My mother leads me to the room. I go in. Door closes. I stand by the door. The teacher stops talking to the class. Everyone stares at me.
“Who are you?”, she asks.
“Robert MacDonald” I say.
She looks at her book.
“You don’t belong here!” she demands.
Bitch.
I begin to cry. “I know” I think to myself. “I belong at home, watching Sesame Street and Mr. Dressup.” I cried some more.
She shoos me out the door. In the hallway, I see my mother. She and another woman are laughing and drinking martinis, pointing at me. I get directed to another room and enter.
A wonderful piece of fuzz, softly and gently floating at the head of the class, asks me my name. I tell her. Her fluffiness embraces me and makes me feel welcome.
Thank you Mrs. McDonald for accepting me when I needed a place to belong.
Okay, so the martinis and the piece of fluff thing were made up, but they do illustrate my emotional state at the time.

It’s time for me to start my season of guessing who’s gonna win each NFL football game. My goal is to be at 60 percent correct at the end of the year. I’ll be guessing, I mean, calculating my picks on win or lose, not against the spread.

The first game of the season was Thursday night. I picked the Colts to beat the Patriots. So, I’m 0 and 1 so far.

Here are my picks for the rest of this week, with comments when I have something to add:

Indianapolis @ New England – Colts to win (I was wrong. I’m scared that the Pats may be better than they were last year.
Tennessee @ Miami – Miami wins. (Miami is expected to be pitiful this year. I expect them to surprise. I’ll say they get to the playoffs. How? I have no idea at the moment.)
San Diego @ Houston – Houston wins. (The Chargers will continue to suck. The Texans will continue to surprise)
Baltimore @ Cleveland – Ravens win.
Detroit @ Chicago – Chicago wins. (only because one of these two schmucks has to win)
Jacksonville @ Buffalo – Buffalo wins. (I don’t know how the Jags stack up this year, but I expect them to fail. The Bills have got to be better than they were last year. They’re on their way to healing)
Tampa Bay @ Washington – The Buccanneers will win. (The Redskins will once again this year prove that money doesn’t necessarily equal success)
Arizona @ St. Louis – The Rams win. (they better enjoy it. Wins will be scarce for St. Louis this year)
Oakland @ Pittsburgh – The Steelers will win (I hate the Raiders. They are the Heavy Metal Music of football)
Cincinatti @ NY Jets – Jets win. (Hate to say it, but the Jets will be a good team this year)
Seattle @ New Orleans – Seahawks win
Atlanta @ San Francisco – The Falcons win. (SF will continue to plummet from the quality team they were a couple of years ago)
NY Giants @ Philadelphia – Eagles win
Dallas @ Minnesota – Dallas wins (I expect Dallas to be as good as they surprisingly were last year)
Kansas City @ Denver – The Broncos will win, because it’s their home game. (should be a good game)
Green Bay @ Carolina – Panthers win (the Brett Favre era will be shown to be over this year.)