Do This, Then Do That

For the past couple of months, I’ve been daily driving by the site where Sears is being built. I’ve been seeing all the workers, some in their machines, some on the road, others in other places. Mostly they seem busy.
Lately I’ve been wondering how it is they remain busy. Are they each told, each day, what they are expected to accomplish? When the bulldozer guy, for instance, goes to work in the morning, does he have a good idea of what he’s going to be doing that day, or does he wait to find out from a foreman what his job is? Is the bulldozer guy in fact a “bulldozer guy”? Or does he somedays work the bulldozer, and other days pour concrete?
Who is it that decides these things, and how early in the process are they decided?What if bulldozer guy calls in sick?

What if foreman calls in sick?

Is it stressful work, or just tedious hard work, or both?

Will I be able to sleep tonight?

What A Great Ass!!

Today, I was wondering how the world would be different if, through whatever means necessary for it to be possible, some of our thoughts were randomly broadcast out loud to those around us. Kind of like a bull-horn type affair.
Because it’d be random, one would never know when or what thoughts would be amplified. Would people have learned to adapt, to keep those dangerous or embarrassing thoughts tamped down in their brains in some way? Or would the world be more accepting of these random audible bursts of thought? Would we become more thick-skinned or thin-skinned people?
Having given practically no thought to this, I think people would have learned to keep thoughts like “boy is that guy ever ugly” from happening, for fear of that thought being a random burst. I also think we’d be a more sexually liberated society, because we’d be hearing people’s thoughts like “Great ass!”. I think we’d be a more honest society. Whether that’d be good or bad, I don’t really know.

Would we have more friends or less friends?

I Am Seven of Nine

Well, really, seven of sixteen. Yes, once again I manage to get 7 correct picks out of a potential 16. Yes, that is a statistic that is less than random guessing would have garnered.
But I’m not gonna give up. In fact, I’m gonna take the opportunity each week (until I get bored with the whole affair – kinda like my Word of the Day posts) to test out different approaches and theories in regards to picking winning football teams.

So, this week and last, I tried to pick who would win each game. Each time I got 7 out of 16 correct. For the upcoming weekend, I am going to pick who I think will win each game, and then present the opposite team as the winner. This should net me a third week record of 9-16.

Let the experimental picking begin.

…And Many More!!!

Lordy, lordy, look who’s 39.

Yes, today is my 39th birthday.
Happy Birthday, Mom.
Thirty-nine sounds like an ‘old’ age to be. I don’t have the “oh my god, what have I done/will I do with my life, I need to leave my mark” panic that some people do around this point in their lives. The only regret or sadness I have is that my body has aged more than my mind. In my brain, I still feel like a twenty-seven year old (the pinnacle age to be, I suppose), but my body tells me otherwise. I’m the anti-Dorian Gray. Sometimes, I walk by a mirror and I think “who the hell is that old geezer?”. And I think the regret is there because I still believe that I could reverse the trend. There’s still time to get healthier.

So, it’s not the “time’s running out, when will I write that great novel” neuroses that occupies my mind. It’s more a sighing of “I couldn’t play a competitive set of tennis now”.

The “write a novel, quick!” panic will likely strike next year when I turn four-oh-my-god. By that time, of course, I’ll have completely given up the belief that I can still improve my body and physical health, and all I’ll have left are frettings over more intellectual pursuits.

That’s A Sump-a Pump-a!

It’s been so long since I posted a plumbing related post.

Lately, I’ve been noticing/ignoring the fact that when it rains, our sump pump seems to stay on for an inordinately long period of time before it finally shuts itself off. Last week, or longer ago, whenever we had our last substantial rain, I noticed that the sump pump wasn’t shutting itself off.
Down into the belly of the beast’s basement I go, and fiddle around with sump pump. By “fiddle around” I mean “push on some things and pull on others”. Still, the sump pump’s engine purred right along. “Hmm, prolly a blockage of some sort”, I think, as I note that the water-level doesn’t seem to be lowering for all the pump’s work.
So, I unplug the power, unhook the connector so that I can remove the pump from the sump hole. Removing the connector results in a large and lovely spray of dirty, stinky sump-water onto my pants. No big deal, that’s part of home-ownership. I take the sump pump out onto the back deck and take some of it apart. “Hmm, no noticible blockage”, I think. I put the thing back together and re-install it in the sump hole.
Since the water level wasn’t rising, I left it and forgot about.
Well, today, the sky’s opened up and a deluge of water causes our sump-hole to fill up. At around 7pm, my wife asks “is the sump pump s’posed to stay on that long?” “How long?” I ask. “Ten minutes.” Oh shit.
Down to the basement I run, and sure enough, the sump pump’s a-purrin’ away, and there’s water evacuating itself from the hole, onto our basement floor.
Time for quick action. I call for my wife and son to start bailing water into receptacles, and I head out to Canadian Tire (remember when CT wasn’t open on Saturday evenings? When it’d be impossible to buy a new sump pump on a Saturday night) and pick up a new sump pump.
Come home, wife and son still bailing (and barely losing the battle), quickly (but not really quickly enough) hook up the new pump. Situate it properly in the hole (you should situate your pump into a plastic container, so that it’s not on the actual floor of the hole. This keeps sludge and dirt from causing blockages), and turn the thing on.
I tell ya, it sucked up the water in that hole like it was a Danish hooker: Fast and absolutely worth the 70 bucks.
A little bit of start/stop-level adjustment on the pump’s ball, and we’re in business.

A Second Week of Self-Flagellation

Despite a first week score of 7-9 (a .438 percentage), and the vow to never pick again, I feel compelled to attempt to vindicate myself. Therefore, here are my NFL picks for week two. WINNER in all caps.

St. Louis at ATLANTA – Both teams are now undefeated. The one thing I can guarantee is that neither will be undefeated for long. In fact, the once-might Rams will only have a few more hours to enjoy their perfects-so-far season. The Falcons will have about 7 more days before the ’72 Dolphins can stop worrying about Atlanta threatening their Perfect Season.

WASHINGTON at N.Y. Giants – It’s still early, but I may have to re-evaluate my stance on the Redskins’ potential this year. Perhaps Portis was their missing ingredient. While I still expect them to fall apart before season’s end, they’ll take it to the Giants this weekend.

SAN FRANCISCO at New Orleans – Here’s the question regarding this game. This week, was Hurricane Ivan more a distraction to the Saints than not having a quarterback was to the 49’ers. I’m saying San Fran wins only because the Saints were more concerned with the blowing Ivan this week than they were the sucking 49’ers.

Carolina at KANSAS CITY – Are people expecting the Panthers to do good this year? I think people are thinking that. I don’t know ’bout that, but I do know it’s tough to win in KC. The Chiefs should have won last week. They’ll do so this week.

DENVER at Jacksonville – I don’t know why, but I find it hard to bet on the Jags to win. I’m not a big fan of Denver, but I suspect they’ll do okay.

Chicago at GREEN BAY – I am so confident that the Packers will beat the Bears that I fully expect the Bears to prevail. Not really, but maybe. Still, I’m picking Packers.

HOUSTON at Detroit – I am giving the Texans one more week – this one – before I bail on them as the surprise team of the season. If they don’t beat the Lions, they simply don’t deserve that recognition.

INDIANAPOLIS at Tennessee – I’m still thinking the Colts will be in the SuperBowl this year (yes, I expect the Patriots to finally fail. Damn I hate their skillful flukiness.), and they should handle the Titans this weekend. In fact, I really wouldn’t want to be the Titans this weekend. I expect big numbers from the Colts offense.

PITTSBURGH at Baltimore – How many losses will the Ravens get before people stop calling them a SuperBowl contending team. After this weekend, they’ll be 0-2. Will that be enough for people to start jumping off the bandwagon. Yep, it will.

SEATTLE at Tampa Bay – The “we scored!” pirate cannon won’t be going off very often for the Buccaneers this weekend. Seattle should win this one.

NEW ENGLAND at Arizona – The only time I want to capitalize the Patriots name is when I write I HATE THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS. Still, only a fool (or someone who performs worse than .438 in the first week) would bet against that Pats in this game. (watch out for the Cardinals victory!)

Cleveland at DALLAS – They lost last week, but I still think they’re gonna be a contending team this year. Cowboys over Browns at home. Sounds good to me.

NY JETS at San Diego – I was so close to going the other way on this one. Mostly, though, because I ‘want’ the Jets to fail more than I ‘expect’ them too. The Chargers surprised me last week. Maybe their decade of funk is coming to an end. I’ll be so happy to be wrong about this pick.

BUFFALO at Oakland – I’m a sucker when it comes to the Raiders. I so want them to lose that I’ll even pick against them in games where I really think they’ll win, like this one. Okay, the Bills may win, but not likely. Still, I’m picking Bills because the football gods may read this blog and my pick may end up being a factor in the outcome.

MIAMI at Cincinatti – Straight up, I’ll tell you that I pick the Dolphins when I shouldn’t because they’re my team (and because of that football gods thing from above). Still, if there’s any hope to having a respectable season, they’re gonna have to win a game like this one. I honestly expect the Dolphins to win this weekend.

Minnesota at PHILADELPHIA – When games like this are imagined, people expect a high-scoring, fun and wild game. The result is usually a low-scoring sombre affair. Not this time. Both teams are gonna light it up this week, and this’ll be the game of the week. Eagles win because of home field advantage.

My goal for this weekend it to get my average above .500. Note, above .500, not at .500. Therefore I need to go 10-6 in my picks to get me to 17-15 for the season.
Piece of cake.

It Didn’t Work, My Nemesis

Yes, I got in the car this morning and drove to work, my nemesis.
Yes, I pulled out onto the busy Route 2 into Charlottetown, my nemesis.
Yes, my brakes failed, my nemesis.
No, I didn’t die, my nemesis.

Your attempt to have me killed by cutting my brake lines failed.
—————-

A couple of days ago, the brake warning light came on, on the car’s dashboard. Took it to our mechanic (it’s kind of nice to have a mechanic who knows you by name. Not so nice when he has your contact phone number practically memorized), and he topped up the brake fluid. Said “if the light comes on again, you’ll probably have to get it repaired’.
Last night, the brakes were working perfectly. This morning… no brakes. Or, barely any brakes. Interestingly, though, the brake warning light did not come on this time. It’s rather discomforting to come up to the intersection of Route 2 and the Ch’town Bypass, and your brakes can only muster to coast you to an eventual stop. Discomforting, indeed.

By the way, I don’t think I have any nemesis (or nemesii?). Unless you can call ‘debt’ a nemesis. If so, then that nemesis is killing me slowly.

It’s Been An Amazing Race

I don’t know if anybody who reads this has been watching the best reality show on television this season, but Amazing Race 5 has had some great moments so far this year. Whatever show would have a commonplace sceneario like this: start the episode in New Zealand, where a contestant has to climb (for safety, tethered to a rope themselves) a 70 foot rope ladder hanging under a bridge across a river. Once done, traverse across a couple of steel girders under same bridge, then throw themselves off the bridge to the boat waiting below. Then scurry off to Manila where you have to decorate a specialized vehicle, then take that vehicle to a farm where you must use an ox and plow to search for a clue tied to a rope. Finally, race to the ‘pit stop’ where you may or may not be eliminated.

And it’s like that every episode. Fantastic.

Early on in the season, L’il Churna and Smirnoff, the midget and motormouth, were the team you loves to hate. So happy to see them go, so sorry to not have them around anymore to hate (fortunately, someone took their place on the hate plate). There are not many opportunities on television for “little people” to be represented as something other than circus performers or oddities (Kramer’s friend on Seinfeld was the only other example I could think of), so it was nice to see Smurna (don’t remember her name) being so “normal”. Too bad she was saddled with such a bitchy-bitch. Spurna the Taller was an awful person and the little one was seen as awful mostly by association. Get her on a team with a more civilised person and she’d be loved by all, I’m sure. I loved when the cripple-creek brothers yelled “Bitch” in one episode as the devil and her minion drove by. Cut to their car: “Did someone just call me a bitch?!” Priceless.

Now there are four teams remaining as the 2 hour finale looms next week. Last night’s episode had me hooting and hollering for joy at the television as perhaps the most ignorant, mean, selfish, petulant reality show player ever finally got a bit of comeuppance. “Oh my god…I hate you” exhaled Colin, defeated, to an ox and/or his mentally abused (and rather useless) girlfriend. To see him trudging through the mud, screaming and lost and desperate and psychotic…that was a wonderful few moments of television. The episode where he almost got arrested because he (wrongly) (arrogantly) refuesed to pay a cabbie the moeny he agreed was classic. I hope they don’t win. He is a Total Asshole.

As awful as Colin is, humanity’s redemption is shown in the presence of Chip. He’s gotta be the perfect reality show contestant. He’s a good player of the game, but his (wonderful) personality keeps getting in the way of his success. Kind and generous to a fault, smart, fun, entertaining, empathetic, it’s obvious he fully understands what is important in his life, and he won’t (can’t) let the game ruin his outlook. More than any other contestant, he is taking full advantage of the wonderful opportunities this game provides him. He is respectful of his surroundings and is genuinely thrilled to be wherever he is. His wife Kim seems to have a nice outlook as well, but she’s a useless tit as far as her participation in the team effort. I hope they win.

The Bowling Moms, as they’re called, are inexplicably still in contention. They are, without question, the most boring team going. I still have no idea who or what they are. They are Fly-Under-The-Radar people, I guess. They’re the “oh, are you still here” people at a party. They are vacant of personality, unless you define personality as shrieks and whines and bemoaning of their poor lot in the game. To get to the final four, they haven’t so much succeeded as they’ve not failed as much as the teams that have lost before them. I hope they don’t win. If they do, it will most likely be by default, rather than by anything special they do.

The Christian models are a puzzle. They seem genuinely nice, but their faith in the lord really bugs me. I don’t understand the logic of someone who claims they’ll succeed because God has given them the tools to succeed. Are they saying God gave you the tools, but not Chip and Kim? Why did He refuse those tools to Chip and Kim, or to the Moms? I also got angry at their vanity a couple of weeks ago when they refused (even though it meant they’d likely lose the game) to get their hair cut off. Are you kidding? Still, they’re likable enough and if Chip and Kim don’t win, I hope they do. Let’s pray that they do, shall we?.

I expect Colin and Christie (Miss Christie, you make good victim) will win. But I so don’t want them to.

What a great show.

MovieJuice

I’ve been a fan of Mark Ramsey’s movie review site MovieJuice for a while.
He’s a sharp writer and packs a lot of funny lines and smart sarcasm into his reviews. Even with movies he likes, he enjoys taking pot shots at the stars and movie business in general.

If you like snarky, funny writing, and if you like movies, I’d be surprised if you didn’t like MovieJuice. Check it out.

Here’s a sample of his style from his review of “Skycaptain…”

“Aleht the amphibious squadron!” says Angelina Jolie. Never has an actress uttered more silly British commands than Jolie, who captains the all-female amphibians like synchronized swimmers with guns. “Ready assholt teams!” she yells. “Ahm clusteh tohpedoes and stick clewse to unit fohmation!” she commands. “Retuhn my Oscah to the Academy with my profoundest apohlogies!” she shouts. With her little military cap and her black uniform, Angie looks like she should be handling Jude Law’s luggage.

Picked Off

Well, I got 7 picks right out of a possible 16.
With much shame, I vow to give up publicly prognosticating football games for good. Or at least for the season.