The Annekenstein Monster

I had vowed that for September, no fast food would be brought into our house. We failed twice in the month, two times bringing home KFC. Both of these days were irregular in that our mealtime schedule went wonky. Also, K never ate the KFC we brought home, since it was her wonky schedule (which included her eating out) that caused our wonky schedule (causing us to bring home the KFC). So, congrats to K for holding out for the month. And congrats to CB and me for cutting way down on our fast food consumption.
The battle continues into October.

CB was so bored last night, with no electrical power for the devices that entertain him, that he willingly agreed that it’d be okay if I played my guitar and sang songs. He fell asleep somewhere between my rendition of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and “Lipstick Sunset”.
The main thing I disliked in regards to the lack of electrical power was the annoyance of no working plumbing. Everything else was quite tolerable.

I perfectly understand why people don’t like Formula One racing, and call it the height of boredom. Each race consists of somewhere around 70 laps of cars going around a track, sometimes with nary a pass or any noticable action. Checkered flag, and wake up.
I understand that. However, I find that I cannot miss a race.
I find that, to enjoy an F1 race, you have to allow yourself to get excited by the potential of what could happen. You have to find a way to get on the edge of your seat thinking about the possiblity that the lead car will break down, or something out of the ordinary will happen. This despite the fact that in a season of F1 races, such things happen maybe a handful of times. To enjoy F1, you need to ignore the kinetic energy of lap after lap of the routine of no change in standings and embrace the potential nature of the sport. If you are able to do this, an F1 race can be almost entertaining. I’ve been hooked for about 10 years now.

Today is the US Grand Prix in Indianapolis. It’s the second last race of the season and there’s a close battle for both the driver’s championship and constructor’s championship. To many it may end up looking like a parade of cars running around the track, but I’m suspecting that I’ll be totally enthralled by it.

Yesterday, the Karoberon and Keaton (CB’s friend) went to Moncton in a celebration of CB’s birthday, which is next week. We decided that, rather than a party, we’d let CB take a friend to the Crystal Palace, and let them rule the day in Moncton. That meant no parental side-trips to shop for boring clothing, or browse boring electronics. It was their day to waste. Arriving at noon, their first inclinations were something to eat and toy shopping. Both were accomplished at Champlain Place. CB got (after searching a couple of different stores to find his hero, Legolas) two LotR action figures, Keaton got ‘an amazing’ John Deere backloader type toy.
Shopping and salivation satiated, the next item on the agenda was The Crystal Palace. A bracelet on each wrist and away they went. K and I took turns away from the noise and din by escaping to Indigo. After three and a half hours, and confident that they’d exhausted all possibilty of fun from the place, they were ready to leave.
Next on the agenda was supper (or dinner, if that’s what you call it). They didn’t care where we ate. I took this as an opportunity to point the Lumina in a homeward direction and proposed the Big Stop Irving in Aulac. All agreed.
The BSIiA is amazing to me. It’s restaurant is perpetually packed, often with a lineup a dozen deep. The wait-staff is the peak of efficiency and friendliness. They have perfected the art of hustling people in and out of the place without giving people the sense that they were rushed. People always seem happy and contented as they leave.
No lineup when we arrived but only one table was available. The moment we sat down, I noticed a lineup of about ten or so, and growing. How did that happen? “Motor coach” said K.
After dining, we headed home. Keaton soon fell asleep on route, and CB played with Legolas.
Not a great day for the sacrificing parents, really, but a top-notch day for the kids. So, it was a great day for the parents too.

Yeah, I know…lists.
Anyway, here are 5 lovely songs from 5 men.
– Ingrid Bergman, Billy Bragg & Wilco, Mermaid Avenue
– Johnsburg, Illinois, Tom Waits, Swordfishtrombones
– Hallelujah, Rufus Wainwright, Shrek soundtrack
– Lebanon, Tennessee, Ron Sexsmith, Ron Sexsmith
– For What It Was, Roddy Frame, Surf

Next time, 5 songs from 5 women.

The recent post re: the Carriage House, combined with a recent (real life) conversation in which some people were reflecting on their favourite personal moments on stage, made me think about my favourite moments of the Carriage House production of Annekenstein.

My absolute favourite moment of the season only happened once, during one night’s performance of a sketch called “The Boyce”. The premise is that two typical Island hockey boys, ‘big dog’ and ‘bull-kid’ (played by myself and Ed Rashed) are dragged by their girlfriends, one named Tammy, the other Tammi (played by Nancy McLure and Laurie Murphy) to see Anne of Green Gables, the Musical. At the end of the sketch, the boyce have been moved to tears by the touching story. One night Laurie was sick and we had to fill in her roles as best as we could. Dave Moses decided he’d do her Tammi role. That’d be interesting, we thought. No rehearsal, into the sketch we go. Dave plays it perfectly straight, we stick to the script as it was written, and there’s no explanation to the audience why one of the boyce is dating a guy named Tammi. Anyway, shortly into the sketch, all the performers start laughing at the absurdity of situation. We got through the sketch, but every line for all of us was a trial and hardship due to the laughter it would get from all of us. I think the audience might have enjoyed it too.
So that’s my favourite singular moment from that season, but my favourite moment that regularly occurred in each performance is this: We did a sketch that was an infomercial on the benefits of the then-under construction ‘fixed link’. It was hosted by Paul Gianallia, head of the construction (Dave), with Laurie playing a souped up motivational expert. A running gag through the sketch was that Gianallia’s name would be mispronounced (much like I’m likely misspelling it here). At one point, audience questions and concerns re: The Bridge were to be addressed. Ed and I were in the audience to ask questions. I always enjoyed the moment when I’d ask my question, which always started off “Yes, Mr. Gilooly…”, and I’d always stretch out the “Gil-ooooooly” and dripping with sarcasm and mockery, then go into an improvised flaky concern I had. Gillooly was a reference, if I recall correctly, to the guy who was accused of bombing that Atlanta Olympics, or he was the guy who got his dick cut off by his wife… anyway, for no reason in particular, I always liked that moment. Especially when it was followed by Ed’s character’s question, which started off “Yes, I have a question for Mr. Genitalia…”

So, a number of years ago, Annekenstein had a relatively successful summer run at the Carriage House at Beaconsfield. We were, to my knowledge, good, respectable tenants. We really enjoyed the performance space.

Apparently, though, the neighbours didn’t enjoy the Annekenstein experience as much as the people who came to the shows, and when we looked into the possibility of another run the next summer, we were told something about theatre no longer being allowed in the Carriage House. Something about, since it was a historical site, there needed to be some sort of Island/historical relevance in order to have performances. This rule, it was intimated, was brought into effect after a few neighbourly complaints.

Now it’s a number of years later and I notice that theatre has been occurring at the Carriage House for quite some time, and in fact there are advertisements for a 2003/2004 theatre season. I can’t help but wonder what Island/historical relevance was contained in this summer’s Green Eggs and Ham kids show.

I wonder what’s the difference between Annekenstein theatre and the theatre that’s been allowed shortly after we left? Has the rule been turned over, or have the offended neighbours moved away, or died?

Sometimes I catch myself doing stupid, pointless things. Like in the past, I’ve spent minutes at the mirror trying to perfect my ‘Sean Penn’ eyes. Sometimes when I squint, I think my face, particularly my eyes, look like Sean Penn. Now, I wasn’t sitting on the couch, or anything, and then thought “I should go practice my Sean Penn eyes.” It’s just something that evolves from nothing.
Last night was another one of those moments. I was sitting in the bathroom, and the thought struck me: How hard would it be to say, in a realistically dramatic way: I’m rubber and you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. You know, like in a really intense scene in a really intense movie, the bad guy is calling our hero all sorts of terrible things, then our hero says the rubber/glue line.
So, I spent the next couple of minutes, sitting there, lost in this little world, where I came up with movie scenarios where I’d have to say this line. I really had to sell the line, dramatically. Of course, it being late at night, I was whispering so as not to wake anyone or have anyone think I’d lost my mind. The whispering was helpful, but I was eager to really try it out loud, in a proper setting.
After a couple of minutes, I sort of had a third-person moment where I saw the idiocy of the situation (man on toilet, saying the rubber/glue line over and over again, a la Clint Eastwood, a la Al Pacino, etc) and that stopped it for me.
Still, it’d make a good improv challenge. Without the toilet, of course.

On a related note, my mother may not have been talking like a pirate, but chances are she was swearing like a trooper 38 years ago today. For that was the day I was born.
Yet, since I was her fifth trip to the delivery room, perhaps the labour wasn’t tough enough to require salty talk from the old girl.

Anyway, Happy Birthday, Mom.

It’s “talk like a pirate day”, apparently. A day where we’re all supposed to speak like pirates.

I’m doing my part. However, the pirates that I choose to emulate speak better than your average avasting brigand. There’s no rule that says a bucanneer can’t have graduated from university with an English major and a modern appreciation for proper grammar.