Author Archives: Rob MacD

This Week, Rob Tells A Lie

One night, many years ago, I was with friends at Pats Rose & Grey, enjoying an evening.  Being introduced to strangers, and being somewhat inebriated, and assuming that the brief introduction would be my complete and total association with these strangers, I decided on a whim that I’d pretend I’m visiting from Scotland.  And so I put on my best (bad) Scottish brogue. 
Of course, the short introduction turned into us all getting a table together, so I was kind of forced to keep up the charade for quite a while.  I can’t imagine I fooled them, but they seemed to take me at my word. If they did take me at my word it was probably only because they (rightly) couldn’t imagine someone being so pathetic as to fake a scottish accent for an entire evening.  Seriously, how sad.

Since then, I’ve often thought of scnearios and lies I could tell people about me if I was in such similar situations (being introduced to strangers) and if the mood struck me.  And I’ve come up with the perfect one (I think).
Saying you’re Scottish (or anything where you have to put on a tough accent or any affectation) is dangerous because it’s tough to keep the charade up.  One needs to choose a lie which is easy to maintain yet fairly difficult to prove on the spot.  The lie also needs to be of a nature that the possibility of the truth is within grasp.  Saying you’re an astronaut is probably not going to be believed, and would be farily easy to disprove.  The lie needs to be within the realm of possibility, yet of appeal uncommon enough to be remembered.
And I have the perfect lie:

If you don’t know me, and you get introduced to me, and if I am of the right level of intoxication and if the mood strikes me, I may tell you my lie:  I am one of the writers of the little show description snippets in the TV Guide.  If pressed, I have a whole backstory ready to prove that fact.

"See that guy over there," you’d say to others.  "He writes those little blurbs about the shows in the TV Guide."

What’s your lie?

The Sith Sense

I am not going to post a link to the latest trailer for Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith, because I assume you a) have seen it if you heard about it, b) know where to find it if you care to, c) don’t care at all about it.
The reason I won’t post a link to it is because I don’t want to facilitate in any way you to get your hopes up, as I have mine, that this is going to be the best of the six in the series.  I don’t want to make it easy for you to see it, get your hopes up, and then be disappointed when you actually go and see the movie.
Not that it’s a great trailer, but it does stir hope within me that perhaps George Lucas will finally pull something other than technical wizardry out of his director’s bag.  Maybe this time there’ll be some emotional weight to the movie.
I have a sense that I may be disappointed.  For I have seen the trailer.  And from the trailer, hopes have risen.

There. And Not There

This weekend was one of those frustrating computer weekends. First, for whatever reason, my Picasa2 (a favourite, by the way, especially now that I have a digital camera) decided it would discount all the efforts we made to categorize and label our thousands of pictures.  You know, the "any picture with Rob in it gets a "Rob" label" kind of stuff.  Yesterday, I started up Picasa2 and it was showing zero pictures.  It had to import them all again, and the labels we had created had disappeared.
Oh well, at least the pictures are all intact.
Then, today, I open iTunes and lo and behold, there is no music in the iTunes Library.  The files are all still on the computer, but none were showing up in iTunes.  Had a heck of a time trying to get things back in order without losing playlists and smartlists.  I wouldn’t have cared too much, and would’ve just imported the files again, but I sync my iPod through playlists and smartlists, so I really wanted to find them.  Fortunately, a google search gave me the problem and solution:  a corrupted library file.  A quick deletion and moving of files in my iTunes folder, another importation of the moved library file and voila, back in action.
I am sure you are thrilled.  As if anyone read to this point.

,

There. And Not There

This weekend was one of those frustrating computer weekends. First, for whatever reason, my Picasa2 (a favourite, by the way, especially now that I have a digital camera) decided it would discount all the efforts we made to categorize and label our thousands of pictures.  You know, the “any picture with Rob in it gets a “Rob” label” kind of stuff.  Yesterday, I started up Picasa2 and it was showing zero pictures.  It had to import them all again, and the labels we had created had disappeared.
Oh well, at least the pictures are all intact.
Then, today, I open iTunes and lo and behold, there is no music in the iTunes Library.  The files are all still on the computer, but none were showing up in iTunes.  Had a heck of a time trying to get things back in order without losing playlists and smartlists.  I wouldn’t have cared too much, and would’ve just imported the files again, but I sync my iPod through playlists and smartlists, so I really wanted to find them.  Fortunately, a google search gave me the problem and solution:  a corrupted library file.  A quick deletion and moving of files in my iTunes folder, another importation of the moved library file and voila, back in action.
I am sure you are thrilled.  As if anyone read to this point.

,

I Should Have Died 3 Million Years Ago!!

According to 2 UC Berkeley scientists, the Earth gives itself a bio-enema of mass extinction every 62 million years. 
People, it’s been 65 million years since the last mass extinction, with the dinosaurs and all.  We’re 3 million years past due!  I’m scared to go to sleep tonight.

The Earth was talking on the phone its friend, a teenage planet.
"Wait", said the Earth, "I think I hear something."
The Earth turned it’s head slightly and saw something moving in the shadow of the closet, and its heart began to pound fast.
"Seriously," the Earth whispered into the receiver, "there’s someone in the galax—-"
There was a scream, and then…
diiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaallllllllll    toooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!
"Oh. My. God." said the teenage planet.  "You better be joking, or I’m gonna be, like, seriously pissed!"
Teenage Planet waited a moment for Earth to stop playing its game.

But Earth wasn’t joking.  It was dead.

The Gag is dead. Long Live The Gag!

Unfunny Jay Leno can once again make "jokes".
A judge has ruled that Jay Leno can once again tell monologue jokes about Michael Jackson, granting him an exemption from the court-imposed gag order.
I am saddened by this.  While it’s obvious that Leno has no sense of propriety, good sense and fair play (not to mention worthwhile, funny material)  when it comes to relying, overly, on news and scandal and celebrity as fodder for his unfunny gags, I was hoping the court order would spare us all.

iPod iWishes

I like my iPod.  Very much.
There are things about it though, that I wish were better.  I’d like to see these ideas implemented:
– When you select "Songs" on the menu, the alphebetized list of all your songs is displayed.  It would be great if there was a better way to navigate around the (usually) huge listing.  To get to a song that begins with "S" for instance, it takes a bit of wheel-scrolling and all of a sudden you’ve zoomed to the end of your list.  I suppose that one could create Alphabet Smartlists, I suppose, to break the songs down alphabetically, but that’s kind of a hassle.  I like being in the menu that contains all songs, and I’d like to be able to, I don’t know, tab through the alphabet, get to the letter I want, then wheel-scroll through them.
–  I usually just listen to my full playlist, shuffled.  I like not knowing what song comes up next.  Sometimes, though, I’ll hear a song come on and I’ll think I’d like to hear more songs from that album, or artist.  I wish there was an easy one-or-two-click way to access that album or artist.  Currently I have to navigate to menu, then to artist, then to album and select it.
–  I wish there was a bit more user ability to alter tags.  Currently, about all one can do is give songs different ratings.  It would be great if you could, on your iPod, add short comments to the tags, or put songs in different playlists from your iPod.  For instance, let’s say I’d like to have a playlist of songs that I’d like to learn how to play on the guitar.  It’d be great if, when listening to songs on the iPod, if I could mark the random songs that come on as "guitar" (or whatever).  Currently, I’d have to remember to remember that song later when I am on iTunes.

Anybody have any tips on how to make a pretty smart iPod experience even smarter?

The Gag is dead. Long Live The Gag!

Unfunny Jay Leno can once again make “jokes”.
A judge has ruled that Jay Leno can once again tell monologue jokes about Michael Jackson, granting him an exemption from the court-imposed gag order.
I am saddened by this.  While it’s obvious that Leno has no sense of propriety, good sense and fair play (not to mention worthwhile, funny material)  when it comes to relying, overly, on news and scandal and celebrity as fodder for his unfunny gags, I was hoping the court order would spare us all.

“Homosexuals Are Strong”

So says James, The Southern Redneck on this season’s Survivor.  He had just been bested, twice, by Coby, The Gay Guy in a physical challenge and was humiliated by the defeat.  His rationale in justifying this incredible and surprising affront to his masculinity was that it makes sense because homosexuals go to the gym a lot and work out, so of course they are strong.  As I watched that, I imagined civilised southerns just shaking their head and silently cursing him for squirting such a huge stream of Ignorant Brand Lighter Fluid to the Stereotype Barbecue.
Then, on The Apprentice, the Stereotype Barbecue kept on burnin’ as John (the Vince Vaughan of this season’s group) seemingly went out of his way to cook Male Chauvinist Hot Dogs.  He and a couple of female team-mates were to meet with some Rock Stars and he all but told them to whore themselves up to please the male rockers.  He called one of them "the fluffer".  I had kind of liked John (much like I like Vince Vaughan) until then, but he lost me with his stupid "women are best when they sell themselves as sex" mentality.  Glad he got fired.  Too bad that Trump seems to share John’s basic philosophy about females in business.
Also on The Apprentice, I must say that George and Carolyn (Trump’s assistants) absolutely rocked in this episode.  George owned the final board meeting. He was fantastic.

"Homosexuals Are Strong"

So says James, The Southern Redneck on this season’s Survivor.  He had just been bested, twice, by Coby, The Gay Guy in a physical challenge and was humiliated by the defeat.  His rationale in justifying this incredible and surprising affront to his masculinity was that it makes sense because homosexuals go to the gym a lot and work out, so of course they are strong.  As I watched that, I imagined civilised southerns just shaking their head and silently cursing him for squirting such a huge stream of Ignorant Brand Lighter Fluid to the Stereotype Barbecue.
Then, on The Apprentice, the Stereotype Barbecue kept on burnin’ as John (the Vince Vaughan of this season’s group) seemingly went out of his way to cook Male Chauvinist Hot Dogs.  He and a couple of female team-mates were to meet with some Rock Stars and he all but told them to whore themselves up to please the male rockers.  He called one of them “the fluffer”.  I had kind of liked John (much like I like Vince Vaughan) until then, but he lost me with his stupid “women are best when they sell themselves as sex” mentality.  Glad he got fired.  Too bad that Trump seems to share John’s basic philosophy about females in business.
Also on The Apprentice, I must say that George and Carolyn (Trump’s assistants) absolutely rocked in this episode.  George owned the final board meeting. He was fantastic.