Author Archives: Rob MacD

I have a sense of humour. Everyone does, of course, to varying degrees. And each of us has a differing opinion on what is funny.
One aspect of my sense of humour relies on sarcasm and, to some extent, on the appearance that I mean what I say. For me, a sarcastic remark is best if the receiver of it isn’t sure if it is, in fact, sarcasm. And I may go to great lengths to not give anything away.
In the textual world of the internet, sarcasm is a tough sell. Especially for someone who doesn’t like to make the sarcasm obvious. So, when you come across any of my online personas: Unka Whiskerz in the lolita chat rooms; BlueBallzz in the fetish forums; AzzCrackz in the big bum boards, or Lieutenant Dan in any of the alt. newsgroups, don’t be looking for an “lol”, or a winking smiley face emoticon from me, because I won’t give it away that easily.

I made the committment not to give it away so easily on that night, right after I lost my cherry.

Well, it looks like we’ve saddled ourselves with a name for both our group and for our show this summer.

We are, and it is, called ‘Sketch 22’. Now, of course, we wait for the inevitable ‘there’s a group in blah-blah who have that name’, or ‘What? Just like 22 minutes?’, or ‘that name sucks’. To all of that, I say:

That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.

You can catch a sneak peek during the TheatrePEI theatre festival in late March.

Someone just asked me if I had plans for lunch.

It strikes me as odd that ‘plan’ needs to be pluralized here. Whose lunch is so complicated, so detailed, that they need to create more than one plan? Even so, if your lunch is so complicated, detailed and full of things to do that it requires you to create a list, wouldn’t that still just be a plan? Does the ‘plans’ refer to contingencies in case the original plan gets altered? If so, how many of us make up plans in advance? Don’t most of us make one plan for lunch, and if that falls through, then we make another plan?

Don’t even get me started on that single item of clothing called ‘pants’.

…I never made anything like this. Granted, my sandbox wasn’t backlit.

It’s a fair-size download (18M) for you dial-uppers, but I found this to be extremely cool, soothing, comforting (I’m not sure why), and beautiful.

To those offended by the Quebec musings of Conan’s puppet dog, I say:

Yawn.

I swear to god, this is what I heard last night during Survivor when “Pretty Boy” Probst (so-called by Boston Rob) asked Big Tom what he thought about Jenna abandoning the game in favour of going home to be with her dying mother:

Ahm gamma dohney abrroot atorpin’ betingluh shamoo applain. Tuh dumbah samgamblin’ abrroot muh whole family in a car crash, bin laden samores tadingluh Big Tom for Big Tom.

I swear, that’s what I heard.

On my homepage, myway.com (an excellent commercial/popup free alternative to the more popular yahoo or msn, commercial-filled versions ), I get a daily update on whose birthday it is.

Today is Christina Ricci’s birthday. She was born in 1980. 1980!!!! But she’s a grown-up. That depressed the hell outta me. Then I got more depressed when I realised that probably some people who read this are even younger than that.

I have a hard time grasping the concept that it’s possible that people born during my initial pubic hair-bearing years could possibly have pubic hair of their own now. Was 1980 really that long ago? Shouldn’t someone born in 1980 still be in, I don’t know…junior high, at most? Where did the ’90s go? Aren’t I still ‘just out of my 20s’, even though it’s been 3/4 of a decade since a ‘2’ appeared anywhere in my age?

sigh

At least it’s good to have the hell outta me for a while, even if it was depressed outta me.

Our new fridge is working wonderfully. We had to replace the old one because it couldn’t be trusted to keep things cold, and it would bombinate in the most annoying way.

I am proposing we change the name of the Silverfox curling club in Summerside to the Firefox. Sure, the fox industry, specifically the silver fox industry, has been an important part of our Island history, but that’s history. Let’s be more progressive and name it (or at least something here on the island, maybe the Firefox Tearoom?) in recognition of the wonderful work done by Steven Garrity, Stephen DesRoches and Daniel Burka on the branding design and visual identity of the beautiful new Firefox browser (formerly Firebird).

Well done guys. Even though I’ve never met any of you, I’m now proud (and more happy than ever) to use Firefox as my default browser knowing that some Island boys were so instrumental in its branding design.

Being shy and guarded with my emotions, it can be difficult for me to build a rapport with those people whom I meet casually.