Category Archives: Uncategorized

Could This Be Any More Wrong?


APCLogo
Originally uploaded by annekenstein1.

Apparently, this is a real logo, for the real Arlington Pediatric Center.

What the hell?

Exercise. Gasp!

I am not what I would call "fit".  I would love to remedy that but cannot begin to fathom the idea of going to a gym.  I have grown pathetically comfortable in my non-physically active lifestyle.  I have been contemplating, for months now, the notion of beginning to improve my fitness and well-being.  I had kind of talked myself into waiting until the weather was better before I begin any program that would involve outside activity.  Now that it is spring, it is time to take that contemplation and turn it into actuality.
So, today begins what I hope becomes a long and fruitful routine in my life.  Today I take fhe first steps towards getting more healthy.  Today I start a running regimen.
My goal is to be able to run 5 Kilometers straight within 9 weeks.  I found The Couch-to-5K-Running-Plan, which looks like a good way to ease me into the world of getting fit.
I hope I can force myself to stick through the initial weeks so that the routine can plant itself into my brain.  I post my intentions here so that I can fear the humiliation of failing in this task.

I’ll report back here on my progress as events warrant.
Once I succeed on this task, then perhaps I’ll be in a better condition (physically capable and mentally willing) to take advantage of the goodness that a gym and it’s services could offer me.

Exercise. Gasp!

I am not what I would call “fit”.  I would love to remedy that but cannot begin to fathom the idea of going to a gym.  I have grown pathetically comfortable in my non-physically active lifestyle.  I have been contemplating, for months now, the notion of beginning to improve my fitness and well-being.  I had kind of talked myself into waiting until the weather was better before I begin any program that would involve outside activity.  Now that it is spring, it is time to take that contemplation and turn it into actuality.
So, today begins what I hope becomes a long and fruitful routine in my life.  Today I take fhe first steps towards getting more healthy.  Today I start a running regimen.
My goal is to be able to run 5 Kilometers straight within 9 weeks.  I found The Couch-to-5K-Running-Plan, which looks like a good way to ease me into the world of getting fit.
I hope I can force myself to stick through the initial weeks so that the routine can plant itself into my brain.  I post my intentions here so that I can fear the humiliation of failing in this task.

I’ll report back here on my progress as events warrant.
Once I succeed on this task, then perhaps I’ll be in a better condition (physically capable and mentally willing) to take advantage of the goodness that a gym and it’s services could offer me.

Ken Burns’ “Civil War Jazz Ballers”

"My dearest Edith, today saw the sun shining and the fields of grass being mowed in preparation for the Tantonville Titans’ jazz ensemble performance.  On the mound will be our top trombonist, Willie "Slide" Carmichael, so I am filled with great hope.  If the ensemble goes well, we expect to capture the Pennawatty Pirates fort by nightfall.  Capturing this fort will go a long way in ensuring the North wins the war.  I hope to be home before the fall turnip harvest, but Cpl. Adamson says I’ll likely die in the 7th inning, running for a foul note.  Still, I remain hopeful.  Yours, forever, Kenny."
Left fielder and third trumpeter, private Kenny Kennilson’s letter to his estranged wife is but one of the touching and written letters from the men of the Tantonville Titans First Battalion Jazz Collective.  The first all white jazz group that saw battle in the great civil war.  Unfortunately, they all died at the Battle For Penawatty that day, by a score of 9-2.

Isn’t that a touching story?  If you’d like The Annekenstein Monster to continue with great stories, moving portraits like that, then I implore you to fake donate some money to The Annekenstein Monster right now.  It’s simple to do.  Compubots are standing by, over in the comments section of the Fake Pledge post.  Just click there and type in your fake-pledge amount.  Remember, no amount of fake money is too little, or too big.
I’m Rob MacDonald, owner and operator of this very site.  We’ll be back to Ken Burns’ excellent documentary "Ken Burns’ Civil War Jazz Ballers" in a never, but before we never get back, I’d like to tell you a bit about The Annekenstein Monster, and why it’s so important for you to fake contribute to it.
…
Having thought about it, I’m actually coming up empty.  Still.  The compubots are standing by.  And they do charge about $7.50 each per hour to stand by, so, I guess, that’s one reason to fake contribute…??
Thanks for your time, and now, back to "Ken Burns’ Civil War Jazz Ballers", exclusively on The Annekenstein Monster…
…

The Annekenstein Monster Fake Pledge Drive

Once again, friends, it’s time for the First Ever The Annekenstein Monster Annual Fake Pledge Drive.

To ensure that TAM continues to offer you the best postings possible, we ask you to look deep into your fake hearts, and to dig deep into your fake pocket books and send some fake money our way.  Every little fake bit helps the TAM team of writer search the brain, the internet and beyond for stories, inanity and musings that are sometimes funny, sometimes touching, but almost always irrelevent to your own personal lives.

Compubots are standing by, right now, in the Comments section of this post, awaiting your fake donations.  Simply leave a comment indicating how much fake money you are willing to fake donate to keep The Annekenstein Monster in the running as the Number One Website On The Internet*.

Thank you, in advance, for fake supporting The Annekenstein Monster

*website not actually in the running as the number one website on the internet.

Ken Burns’ "Civil War Jazz Ballers"

“My dearest Edith, today saw the sun shining and the fields of grass being mowed in preparation for the Tantonville Titans’ jazz ensemble performance.  On the mound will be our top trombonist, Willie “Slide” Carmichael, so I am filled with great hope.  If the ensemble goes well, we expect to capture the Pennawatty Pirates fort by nightfall.  Capturing this fort will go a long way in ensuring the North wins the war.  I hope to be home before the fall turnip harvest, but Cpl. Adamson says I’ll likely die in the 7th inning, running for a foul note.  Still, I remain hopeful.  Yours, forever, Kenny.”
Left fielder and third trumpeter, private Kenny Kennilson’s letter to his estranged wife is but one of the touching and written letters from the men of the Tantonville Titans First Battalion Jazz Collective.  The first all white jazz group that saw battle in the great civil war.  Unfortunately, they all died at the Battle For Penawatty that day, by a score of 9-2.

Isn’t that a touching story?  If you’d like The Annekenstein Monster to continue with great stories, moving portraits like that, then I implore you to fake donate some money to The Annekenstein Monster right now.  It’s simple to do.  Compubots are standing by, over in the comments section of the Fake Pledge post.  Just click there and type in your fake-pledge amount.  Remember, no amount of fake money is too little, or too big.
I’m Rob MacDonald, owner and operator of this very site.  We’ll be back to Ken Burns’ excellent documentary “Ken Burns’ Civil War Jazz Ballers” in a never, but before we never get back, I’d like to tell you a bit about The Annekenstein Monster, and why it’s so important for you to fake contribute to it.
…
Having thought about it, I’m actually coming up empty.  Still.  The compubots are standing by.  And they do charge about $7.50 each per hour to stand by, so, I guess, that’s one reason to fake contribute…??
Thanks for your time, and now, back to “Ken Burns’ Civil War Jazz Ballers”, exclusively on The Annekenstein Monster…
…

The Sith Sense

I am not going to post a link to the latest trailer for Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith, because I assume you a) have seen it if you heard about it, b) know where to find it if you care to, c) don’t care at all about it.
The reason I won’t post a link to it is because I don’t want to facilitate in any way you to get your hopes up, as I have mine, that this is going to be the best of the six in the series.  I don’t want to make it easy for you to see it, get your hopes up, and then be disappointed when you actually go and see the movie.
Not that it’s a great trailer, but it does stir hope within me that perhaps George Lucas will finally pull something other than technical wizardry out of his director’s bag.  Maybe this time there’ll be some emotional weight to the movie.
I have a sense that I may be disappointed.  For I have seen the trailer.  And from the trailer, hopes have risen.

There. And Not There

This weekend was one of those frustrating computer weekends. First, for whatever reason, my Picasa2 (a favourite, by the way, especially now that I have a digital camera) decided it would discount all the efforts we made to categorize and label our thousands of pictures.  You know, the “any picture with Rob in it gets a “Rob” label” kind of stuff.  Yesterday, I started up Picasa2 and it was showing zero pictures.  It had to import them all again, and the labels we had created had disappeared.
Oh well, at least the pictures are all intact.
Then, today, I open iTunes and lo and behold, there is no music in the iTunes Library.  The files are all still on the computer, but none were showing up in iTunes.  Had a heck of a time trying to get things back in order without losing playlists and smartlists.  I wouldn’t have cared too much, and would’ve just imported the files again, but I sync my iPod through playlists and smartlists, so I really wanted to find them.  Fortunately, a google search gave me the problem and solution:  a corrupted library file.  A quick deletion and moving of files in my iTunes folder, another importation of the moved library file and voila, back in action.
I am sure you are thrilled.  As if anyone read to this point.

,

The Gag is dead. Long Live The Gag!

Unfunny Jay Leno can once again make “jokes”.
A judge has ruled that Jay Leno can once again tell monologue jokes about Michael Jackson, granting him an exemption from the court-imposed gag order.
I am saddened by this.  While it’s obvious that Leno has no sense of propriety, good sense and fair play (not to mention worthwhile, funny material)  when it comes to relying, overly, on news and scandal and celebrity as fodder for his unfunny gags, I was hoping the court order would spare us all.

"Homosexuals Are Strong"

So says James, The Southern Redneck on this season’s Survivor.  He had just been bested, twice, by Coby, The Gay Guy in a physical challenge and was humiliated by the defeat.  His rationale in justifying this incredible and surprising affront to his masculinity was that it makes sense because homosexuals go to the gym a lot and work out, so of course they are strong.  As I watched that, I imagined civilised southerns just shaking their head and silently cursing him for squirting such a huge stream of Ignorant Brand Lighter Fluid to the Stereotype Barbecue.
Then, on The Apprentice, the Stereotype Barbecue kept on burnin’ as John (the Vince Vaughan of this season’s group) seemingly went out of his way to cook Male Chauvinist Hot Dogs.  He and a couple of female team-mates were to meet with some Rock Stars and he all but told them to whore themselves up to please the male rockers.  He called one of them “the fluffer”.  I had kind of liked John (much like I like Vince Vaughan) until then, but he lost me with his stupid “women are best when they sell themselves as sex” mentality.  Glad he got fired.  Too bad that Trump seems to share John’s basic philosophy about females in business.
Also on The Apprentice, I must say that George and Carolyn (Trump’s assistants) absolutely rocked in this episode.  George owned the final board meeting. He was fantastic.