The Annekenstein Monster

I am in the middle of a week-long vacation. So far, it’s been a perfect vacation. Lots of video game playing, some reading, sleeping late, going to bed late, cooking meals that don’t get cooked when I work, doing unimportant things on a whim, etc.
I had planned to do a few things around the house, but so far, except for a half-afternoon of beginning to clean out the basement, I’ve done nothing. And I don’t feel guilty at all.
I’ve barely thought about work, which is the best part.
Now, though, it’s hump day, and I fear my head, from this point onwards, will be more and more filled with countdown-to-work thoughts.

To counter that, I’ll just have to play more GTA: Vice City.

Some random thoughts on baseball:
– This season, I’ve watched this much baseball: game 5 of Yanks/Sox from the bottom of the 6th onward, and game 6 of the same, from the 2nd inning onward. Both were great games. I’ll watch tonight’s game as well. I find myself cheering heartily for the Red Sox. I’m not sure if that’s because I want them to win, or if I want the Yankees to lose.

– My cheering for the Sox has got me thinking: Now that the Spose are no more, which team will I passively cheer for during the regular seasons, without really watching any games or paying attention to the standings? I’ve always been a National League guy (it must be that preposterous DH rule in the AL that keeps me from cheering that side of the league). Back in the 80’s, when I was an avid Expos fan (there was a time when I’d listen to regular season Expos games on the radio, if I could find a station [there was a time when I’d try to find baseball radio broadcasts anywhere on the dial]), I did find myself secretly cheering for the Pirates. But I think that was more about the audaciousness they had to wear those ridiculous too-tall prison uniform caps.
I’ve always had a soft spot for underdogs, so maybe I’ll start actively-passively cheering for the Cubs and/or Mets. Dunno, that doesn’t feel right, yet.
One thing for certain, I cannot bring myself to cheer for the Jays. I’ve never been able to cheer for any Toronto based team in any sport.
There’s no need to force a team upon myself. I’ll let it occur naturally. I’ll allow myself to discover my new team gradually, over time, as I more-or-less ignore the regular season next year.

– My choices for the name of the former Expos, now situated in Washington: The Washington Lobbyists, or The Washington Irvings, or The Washington Citizens Should Never Forget That Lauria And MLB Conspired To Destroy The Expos Thus Creating The Unfortunate And Unforgivable Circumstances That Snuffed Out The Love Of Baseball In Montreal And Brought The Team To Your Region (or the Washington Citizens, for short).

It’s spreading all over the internets, but I thought I’d point to it so that those of you who rely solely on me to get your news and entertainment stories will be sated.

John Stewart was on CNN’s Crossfire recently and took the opportunity to call out the hosts on what a terrible job they (and the media) is doing in covering the news. It’s a fascinating bit of television. I appreciate Stewart more than ever for having the balls to maintain his agenda. I know I wouldn’t have the guts to do what he did, even though it so needed to be done.

Here’s a link to a page that has video links of the event.

It really is worth seeing.

So, last night was the final night of this year’s Enemies. What did you miss, if you weren’t there?
-what I am sure is the Segway’s first appearance in any theatrical production on PEI. I would even guess the first time a Segway has appeared in a theatrical production in the Maritimes. (I am more than ready to be corrected on this)
-at least three too many jokes/references to the penis and/or testicles.
-me, chewing pubic hair.
-a discussion as to the meaning of the word ‘reap’.
-a detailed instructional on how a man might possibly be born with a gun in his hand.
-the introduction of the Benny Hill Show theme song to a whole new generation of Islanders.
-mis-firing pistols
-a real-live alien on stage (okay, an actor pretending to be a real-live alien).
-more drool than was necessary.

I found directing this year’s episodes to be a very Jekyll-Hyde experience. On the one hand, you want to make sure the actors know what they were supposed to do when they were on stage. We had plot points we need to reach in any scene, and it’s rather vital to the outcome of each episode that those points are actually achieved. Yet, on the other hand, you also want to keep the improvisational intent of the series. It’s improv that drives the excitement and entertainment of the shows, and if the actors have too much familiarity with what happens in each scene, then it becomes much harder to maintain that improvisational aspect.

I think, in hindsight, I guided the rehearsals with the intent that the improvisational qualities remained in the forefront, and focused much less (than last year, for instance) on hammering home the various plot points. In so doing, I probably didn’t afford the actors as much comfort and familiarity with the scenes as they probably wanted. Sometimes, for all of us acting in the show, this resulted in us looking a little lost at times on stage. However, it also created many hilarious moments of improv that simply wouldn’t have happened had we known the plot backwards and forewards.

So, last night was the final night of this year’s Enemies. What did you miss, if you weren’t there?

-what I am sure is the Segway’s first appearance in any theatrical production on PEI. I would even guess the first time a Segway has appeared in a theatrical production in the Maritimes. (I am more than ready to be corrected on this)

-at least three too many jokes/references to the penis and/or testicles.

-me, chewing pubic hair.

-a discussion as to the meaning of the word ‘reap’.

-a detailed instructional on how a man might possibly be born with a gun in his hand.

-the introduction of the Benny Hill Show theme song to a whole new generation of Islanders.

-mis-firing pistols

-a real-live alien on stage (okay, an actor pretending to be a real-live alien).

-more drool than was necessary.

I found directing this year’s episodes to be a very Jekyll-Hyde experience. On the one hand, you want to make sure the actors know what they were supposed to do when they were on stage. We had plot points we need to reach in any scene, and it’s rather vital to the outcome of each episode that those points are actually achieved. Yet, on the other hand, you also want to keep the improvisational intent of the series. It’s improv that drives the excitement and entertainment of the shows, and if the actors have too much familiarity with what happens in each scene, then it becomes much harder to maintain that improvisational aspect.

I think, in hindsight, I guided the rehearsals with the intent that the improvisational qualities remained in the forefront, and focused much less (than last year, for instance) on hammering home the various plot points. In so doing, I probably didn’t afford the actors as much comfort and familiarity with the scenes as they probably wanted. Sometimes, for all of us acting in the show, this resulted in us looking a little lost at times on stage. However, it also created many hilarious moments of improv that simply wouldn’t have happened had we known the plot backwards and forewards.

My beloved Miami Dolphins are winless in their first 5 games this season. Not only winless, but not-even-close-less.

The colossalness of their ineptitude has even made them the butt of a Jay Leno monologue joke. Having the team I support be the butt of Leno jokes hurts more than the actual losses, which, truth be told, are somewhat entertaining in a ‘the trials of Job’ kind of way.

I am now wondering when head coach Dave Wannstedt gets canned. Last week, popular opinion was that he’d be fired the day after their final game of the season. I say, assuming the losing continues (and there’s absolutely no reason to believe it won’t continue) that he’ll be fired the day after the game before their bye week.

And while prognosticating, I’ll say that Osama Bin Laden will be ‘found’ before the end of October. Also, there’ll be a major terrorist strike on the US before Nov.3.

So far this season, Law & Order:SVU has been pretty disappointing. The writing has fallen off the bridge and is very much lacking in subtlety. I still don’t watch L&O:Sunday Night (Criminal Intent?), because I never liked the writing and contrivances on it. Perhaps the wirters of CI have moved over to SVU. Certainly, there is some reason for the degradation in scripts.

I haven’t really watched the top of the heap Law & Order, this year with Dennis Farina. Seeing the quality of SVU drop off so much, now I’m a little nervous about doing so.

So far this season, Law & Order:SVU has been pretty disappointing. The writing has fallen off the bridge and is very much lacking in subtlety. I still don’t watch L&O:Sunday Night (Criminal Intent?), because I never liked the writing and contrivances on it. Perhaps the wirters of CI have moved over to SVU. Certainly, there is some reason for the degradation in scripts.

I haven’t really watched the top of the heap Law & Order, this year with Dennis Farina. Seeing the quality of SVU drop off so much, now I’m a little nervous about doing so.

Last Saturday, my wife and I played the role of Bing Crosby (minus the reported child abuse) while Cameron and his friend Jordan played Bob Hope as we travelled in the second annual birthday party trip to Crystal Palace in Moncton.

Left our driveway at 8:50am, drove back in our driveway at 8:47pm. In between there was this:

-a 40 minute wait at a used computer games store in the Champlain Place Mall, as we inch-by-inched our way to the Bethlehem that was customer service, so Cameron could buy a used game. Two registers, one of which was totally bombarded by two kids who kept buying and buying and buying. The other register was manned (sorry ladies, for that gender-specific term, but it was a guy) by a nice-enough guy, but after a 40 minute wait, nobody is friendly anymore.
-Three hours and fifteen minutes in the echo chamber called Crystal Palace. Constant loud droning of amusement noises, intermingled by the rolling roar of coaster and screams of fearful children.
-Zombie-walking through a mall (or was it two malls? or three?) searching (unsuccessfully) for a winter coat for my wife. I’m sorry, but I cannot be counted on to make a coutoure decision when all I want to eat is brains. Or, is it “are brains”?
-a drive to the BigStop in Aulac where I had a decadent dinner – The Day and Ross Special. Basically, poutine. But the first time I’ve ever eaten poutine, so… hurray for me!!
-Then home.

Cameron and Jordan had a great time, it was their day (except for the hunt for winter wear), and therefore, I had a great day.

I think, though, that this will have been the final annual birthday trip to Crystal Palace, since Cameron has pretty much outgrown most of the rides. Yes, next year we’re gonna take him to a brothel, coincidentally enough, called Crystal’s Palais.

And, yes. Cameron bought a monkey. In fact, two.

I understand that some people are planning on coming to see this season’s final episode of Enemies this Thursday night, and are not familiar with the proceedings so far:

This may help you get up to date:

Dr. Shelley Lugosi, imprisoned on PEI for various and sundry sex/science crimes, has sent redneck bounty hunter Bubba Fett to Las Vegas to track down and return Shelley’s clone-of-himself, Kenny, so Shelley can happily bask in the thrill of having sex with himself. Kenny has been kidnapped to Las Vegas by one half of the separated-at-the-shoulder siamese twin, one-armed Butch, and Shelley fears her hard-lovin’ ways will ruin Kenny forever.

In Las Vegas, Bubba meets up with uber-religious good-guy, Gabe, who is attempting to rid Las Vegas of sin and debauchery. To aid in that, he’s bought out a casino and turned it into a house of the Lord, where there’s never any need to gamble. With Gabe is his psychic girlfriend, Britney, who cannot understand why Gabe spurns her psychic abilities, especially her magic Lobster Claw, which still has one good wish to offer. Sadly, their relationship seems doomed. Especially when Acadien singing sensation Sabine suddenly appears out of retirement and hooks up with Gabe’s crusade.

Also in Las Vegas are Cassidy and Ludwig. Cassidy is the armless half of the Butch-Cassidy siamese twinning. She, the poster-child for Abused In Relationship, is girlfriend to Ludwig, a poster child for Relationship Abuser. Ludwig (and Cassidy, but mostly Ludwig) is trying to find fame and fortune in Las Vegas and will do anything to achieve that lucrative Celtic-Rock record contract.

Kenny soon escapes from Butch and hooks up with Gabe. Because of Kenny’s high-impact pheremonic scent, he is easy to fall in love with, and Gabe falls head over heals in love, but won’t admit it. Moreso in love with Kenny is Cassidy, and because her love is an unselfish love, Kenny falls for her too.

Through a series of events, Ludwig falls under the spell of one of Bubba’s alien contraptions (Bubba claims his parents were abducted by aliens when he was a child, leaving behind an assortment of alien devices)., called a Noggin Walloper The Noggin Walloper puts Ludwig under the physical command of Bubba, and Bubba uses Ludwig to help in the hunt for Kenny (he also takes great pleasure in forcing Ludwig to embarrass himself often).

Last week, Sabine got shot dead by a mysterious one-armed bandit. Kenny, to the surprise of all, has the ability to revive the dead, and so revives Sabine. Later, we see him restore both of Cassidy’s arms.

During the big Talent Showcase, Bubba goes too far in embarrassing Ludwig, and the Noggin Walloper breaks, causing Ludwig to now have the ability to control everyone else.

Tune in this week as:
Dr. Shelley gets impatient with Bubba
Bubba finds it difficult to hunt for Kenny when he’s physically controlled by Ludwig
Cassidy enjoys the ability to scratch her own nose
Butch meets her match
Kenny comes to understand his powers
Britney regrets Lobster Claw wishing for Gabe’s Casino-Church to fail
Sabine realises who her true love is
Gabe resorts to his alter ego, Altar Boy, in an attempt to save the world from Ludwig
Ludwig relishes the ultimate power that the Noggin Walloper provides him.