The Annekenstein Monster

Sketch 22, our summer sketch comedy show is coming along very well, thank you. In fact, we have a tentative running order for our sketches and videos, and it’s not yet May. How does this timeline equate to other summertime sketch comedy shows I’ve been involved in? Well, for those, now would probably be the time that we start thinking about maybe committing to putting on a show. So, we’re pretty far ahead of the curve this year.
The sketches themselves are in various states of readiness, many are close to being finished, and we have a couple of hilariously funny videos already in the can.

The next video we shoot should be extra fun. We have a sketch where tourism officials are desperately running out of time and are having difficulty coming up with the next year’s PEI tourism video campaign. They mistakenly leave it in the hands of a friend of a friend of a friend, who just happens to be a producer of pornographic movies. The tourism video he comes up with is very much of his world, and stars some of his stable of actors.

I love the porn actor names we came up with:

Cassandra Cummings, Dick Vertical, Rock Hardon, and (the best porn name I’ve ever come up with:) Kitty Glissenpussy

Honk honk

Honk honk

Alright, I’m playing along.

From The Crow Road, by Iain Banks:

“A season was a decade, and every year a life.”

It the thing to do:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

.

Today I learned about a big hotel (not sure which one) in Vancouver, that has a dog that lives in the lobby, and it befriends guests. Isn’t that a great idea to make people feel comfortable?
That conversation moved into a brief talk about Vicki Gabareau’s TV show, of which the above hotel is a sponsor.
Then to seeing Charlottetown’s guitarist extraordinaire, Chris Corrigan, on Vicki’s show one time. He was playing guitar for Rita MacNeil.
The reference to Chris Corrigan spurred memories of The Dogs, and how great it was to go to Pat’s Rose & Grey, and to The Dip to watch them play. I remember countless nights of watching Chris play guitar, back when I had slight aspirations of becoming proficient on the guitar.
From Chris, we moved to Mike Mooney, and how he’d stick his tongue out, like a lizard, when he sang.
Mike brought back memories of the band Touch & Gone, and we were trying to remember the name of the guy who sang, and who’d (irritatingly to me) play air guitar during the guitar solos.
Which brought back memories of the Dixon Road hippies who’d dance and float about on the dance floor during those solos.
The dance floor made us think of how great it used to be to go to dances at the old Montage Dance building (it burned down, youngsters). And not just going to dances there, but about how great the building was. Big rooms great for all kinds of multi-purpose arts uses.

Which brings me to this question: Why doesn’t Charlottetown have a place like that now? The ARTS Guild is the closest thing, but it just doesn’t work (except for when Sketch 22 performs there, Thursday and Friday nights, July and August this summer).

So many speculations about Ryan Seacrest’s sexuality, most implying he’s gay. If he is, how great would it be if he said so.

Besides that, though, I come to this post because of this quote, which he said this week on AI, after Crazzee-Eyez Hudson got the boot:

“America, don’t forget you have to vote for the talent. You have to keep your favorites in the competition.”

Well, which is it, Mr. Seacrest? You want we should vote for the talent, or to keep our favourites in the competition? Mean to say, if’n our favourites in the competition aren’t necessarily the talent, then we have a problem.

After a couple days of reflection on this week’s American Idol, I have this to say, then on to other things: I think the producers of the show are probably pretty excited about the outcome this week. This controversy has certainly stirred up the pot, and even more people will likely be tuning in next week. You can bet, they don’t mind losing one of the divas.
Also, when I was watching the awful Barry Manilow song (which he performed quite well, however. Shows how much of a professional he is compared to these Idol wannabees) about ‘Freedom’, with the video of waving American flags in the background, I was struck by the idea that Americans have been brainwashed into the concept that Freedom=America. I doubt they can imagine the word freedom without thinking of America. I think that’s why so many get bothered with them.

So many speculations about Ryan Seacrest’s sexuality, most implying he’s gay. If he is, how great would it be if he said so.

Besides that, though, I come to this post because of this quote, which he said this week on AI, after Crazzee-Eyez Hudson got the boot:

“America, don’t forget you have to vote for the talent. You have to keep your favorites in the competition.”

Well, which is it, Mr. Seacrest? You want we should vote for the talent, or to keep our favourites in the competition? Mean to say, if’n our favourites in the competition aren’t necessarily the talent, then we have a problem.

After a couple days of reflection on this week’s American Idol, I have this to say, then on to other things: I think the producers of the show are probably pretty excited about the outcome this week. This controversy has certainly stirred up the pot, and even more people will likely be tuning in next week. You can bet, they don’t mind losing one of the divas.

Also, when I was watching the awful Barry Manilow song (which he performed quite well, however. Shows how much of a professional he is compared to these Idol wannabees) about ‘Freedom’, with the video of waving American flags in the background, I was struck by the idea that Americans have been brainwashed into the concept that Freedom=America. I doubt they can imagine the word freedom without thinking of America. I think that’s why so many get bothered with them.

Last NFL season, in the only pick’em pool I was involved with, I think I got just under 50 percent of my picks correct. Of course, that was picking against the spread, which, theoretically, is supposed to even out your odds of winning. So, I blame that poor showing on the smart minds of Las Vegas bookies.
In the first round of these NHL playoffs, I believe I picked 3 out of the 8 teams that advanced to the second round. The other 5 I got wrong. These picks had nothing to do with a spread. These were the teams I thought would advance, and therefore one might assume I would do better than “just under 50 percent”. 3 out of 5 right is what I got. For this I’ll blame recent parity in the NHL. That, and Patrick Lalime.
In my recent American Idol pickmanship here, on this blog, I don’t believe I’ve yet correctly identified the contestent who will be evicted on any particular night. This week I even failed to identify any of the ‘bottom three’. For this, I blame the crazy American public for using a completely different set of parameters in their determination of who deserves to be removed from the competition. I use a complicated formula that takes in such factors as “vocal quality” “star potential” and “talent”. America, I believe uses the following single factor in their determinations: “Cuteness”

And, now, to Survivor. I don’t do too well in guessing who gets booted each week. For this, I blame clever editing from the producers who are determined to outwit, outlast and out-trick the viewing audience. Last week, I did correctly state that Kathy’s fire would definetly be snuffed out. However, I also correctly stated that the sun would rise the next day, too. Both brave predictions of approximately the same risk.

Tonight, I am firmly stating that Shii-Ann (which is Mandarin for “useless tit”) will be removed from the game. I was going to add “unless she wins immunity”. But she won’t win immunity. Tonight, Useless-Tit gets the boot. Ga-ran-teed! (which is Canadian for “I also picked Ottawa”). I am not even going to make a safety pick, so confident am I in this pick. However, if I was to make a safety pick, it’d be Alicia.

I will, however, add an addendum that would affect my Useless-Tit pick. The first time that Bahstan Rahb doesn’t win immunity, he will be voted out. I don’t believe that will happen tonight.

Okay, this week’s American Idol bored me beyond comprehension.
Still, it was better than that Leafs/Senators game. Grrrr.
Here’s a little confession: I like Barry Manilow. I’m not talking about his songs, I’m talking about him, or at least, the ‘him’ we get to see through the media. His songs: meh. He writes good melodies. But he seems like a real nice guy.

Who was first? Diana DeGuarmo? This was her best performance so far, wasn’t it? It’s been less than 24 hours since, and I cannot, for the life of me, remember her song. I remember the pee I had last night before I went to bed. It was good, though, wasn’t it? The song, not the pee (which was good). “Good” being relative to the boring crap she’s made us suffer through thus far, of course. Anyway, next:

George Huff: Barry Manilow writes songs with good melodies. George Huff takes Barry Manilow songs and removes the melody from them. Not smart. Second week in a row, George, you let us down. Smarten up, ‘kay. Go listen to some Mel Torme this week. Bring us some of that Velvet Fog.

Hawaiin Girl: Her best performance so far. And I think it’s the first time she didn’t try to stick a tourism ad for Hawaii into her bit. Do the two relate? Anyway, it’s her best, but she still doesn’t have any chance to win. She’ll stay til next week, but no farther.

Jennifer: Okay, I’m not a fan of Jennifer. I can’t get past her barely supressed anger, and the fear of a fist punch at any second. But she did a real good job. However, it was with her performance last night that I started to figure out the ‘diva’ plan. Start the song quiet (too quiet last night, Jenn) and don’t worry about how it sounds. Because the only thing that matters is the end, when the song gets kicked up a notch. Last night, when Jennifer kicked her song up a notch, she did a great job. For me, though, I’m all about the song before it gets kicked up a notch. I’m all about the anti-diva.

Crooner John: As John sang last night, at least during the first part of the song, I saw actual emotion coming from John, and sentiment escaping through his lips. Manilow’s advice to feel the song and not worry about the notes etc was working! I began to imagine what John would’ve been like if he’d heard that advice early on in the competition. Imagine if he was told way back when to sing with feeling, not like a robotic martini. That’s what I was thinking. Then he lost it. Gone went the emotion. Gone went the sentiment. All that was left was the wide-eyed stares of a deer in the spotlight. For god’s sake, America, heed my words this week, and rid my life of this blandness.

LaToya: Another who utilizes the diva plan. Start small and irrelevant, then turn on the voice for the last 40 seconds. Why is it all about the final 40 seconds? Good, but who cares.

Fantasia: I like Fantasia, but I wasn’t crazy about her song last night. Nothing wrong with it, but it didn’t move me very much. Forcing the audience to get up for the revival meetin’ sounds is like trying to rouse the remaining dead-tired stragglers at a party into having more fun at 2:30am by suggesting Trivial Pursuit. Just…go away! Anyway, good, but again, you did not moooove me.

I thought the whole night was blah. Kinda like a Barry Manilow song. I like the guy, though.

The three to stand on the idol icon: John, Hawaiin Girl, and Diana. Hawaiin Girl goes back to the couch of comfort.

Crooner John gets the boot.