Spree-ality TV

Too many reality shows to keep tabs on right now.  I may have to vote one of them off the island.
Here’s my oh-so-important opinion of the current slate that has me in rapt attention:
American Idol – I still don’t know why I watch this show.  It’s young quasi-talented egotists singing songs that I’d never put on my iPod.  Why watch?  It’s not so much for the "you were a bit pitchy but you were a’ight" Randy, dawg.  It’s not for the "your aura was im-magnificantacular, and I love your look, but you have to work on your look, and on how im-magnificantacular your aura is" Paula.  It’s for the "If I was being honest, I would give an opinion that so often is exactly what needs to be said, and that mirrors what Rob thinks" Simon.  I feel like a school girl typing this, but Simon is so right-on so often.  Plus, I watch for the pathetic "my world just ended" dramas that happen every "results show" Wednesday.
Amazing Race 7 – a scant 3 weeks after the end of AR6, it’s back.  Looks like a great bunch of competitors.  I’m surprised that I find myself cheering for Boston Rob and Amber.  I think it’s because so many of the other teams have marked them as the enemy.  They really are a pretty entertaining couple.  I hated to type that.  When did gay boyfriend couples become the joke?  I like them all, except the "Suck it up" guy.  Does anyone else think that the old guy, Meredith (get beat up as a kid much?), look like Larry David when he’s wearing his cap and sunglasses.  Spitting image, I say.  For that reason alone, I cheer him on.  Not so crazy about his wife, whom I’ll dub "Dagnabbit".  Anyone else interesting?  Probably, but not worth mentioning right now.
Survivor – I’m liking the gang they’ve coralled onto the island this time around.  A good bunch of people, all seemingly knowing how the game is played.  Except, you know, for the fact that they all still seem to get upset when they, you know, learn that the people they’ve begun to trust are, like, you know, actually trying to win.  I thought they were all everyone’s friends! 
The Apprentice – I so hate this show.  Arsehole business people doing whatever necessary to kiss the ass of the biggest arsehole around, Donald Trump.  Stupid arseholes who continually let picky picky picky stupid non-game stuff get in the way of their success on the show.  Stupid contests whose results are basically at the whim of the producers so, really, they can pick and choose who goes on and who gets fired.  Contests that are nothing more than advertisements for products.  I so hate this show.  I hate it.  Can’t wait til it’s on again Thursday.  Damn you, Trump.


  1. graham says:

    I’d like a reality show that takes place in the Pentagon. Involving countries instead of contestants. Not like the news either. An actual reality show.


  2. L says:

    You really should switch channels and check out Lost! It beats reality shows any day 😉
    This is the first season I’ve watched the Amazing Race. I didn’t like Rob when he was on Survivor, and yet I find myself rooting for him in this show. He’s ingenious, that’s for sure. I got a kick out of the llama herding fiasco last night. also, I couldn’t stand the mother/son trio. something about that woman just irritates me to the core!

    About The Apprentice, are you planning to watch it when Martha Stewart is on it?


  3. Yanik says:

    Now that I know that Rob and Amber are in the Amazing Race I feel compelled to start watching to see them play as a team (for a second time?).

    I think there should be a reality show called “The Slap”. It take’s place in Ottawa and centres around question period. There would be two “slappers” at the ready, squatting beside the Speaker — like the ball retrievers in tennis. When someone started to dodge questions or talk out thier ass or just be an idiot, the Speaker could send out a slapper to cuff him/her off the side of the head. 5 slaps and your out. I think they’d have to use teenage girls for “slappers”. I remember in junior high/high school how they could afflict so much pain with those little hands. To be fair there would have to be handicaps for folks like Harper who are disadvantaged by thier personality and rationality defects. It would be my favorite show EVER!


  4. Rob says:

    I think, Yanik, that a better show would be “Slap, Twist Or Bag Tag”. The same premise as yours, only the recipient would never know if they were going to get a slap, a nipple twist, or one of those junior-high open-handed quick punches to the groin.


  5. Yanik Richards says:



  6. Gooner says:

    I think one of the worst realty dating shows is Elimidate. But I can’t stop watching it! Somebody help me!


  7. Graham says:

    There is not a show on TV today that can hold a candle to the “slap, twist or bag tag”-House-of-commons. If Any of the TV producers knew anything about anything, Rob and Yanik would be millionairs.

    And Gooner: Stop. Just stop watching it. For the first couple times it will seem restless and boring, but it’s worth it. That show, like any of those dating shows, will fuck with your mind worse then the joker on acid.


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