I don’t like any of the American Idol contestants, as performers.  Bland, bland, bland.  I can’t imagine being even remotely interested in anything that any of them would bring to a song recording as the next American Idol.  Just like I don’t care about any of the current winners and second place and former contestants.  It’s all shit songs sung by pre-fab crappers.  It’s not for me, the music, the industry.

Why do I watch?

Now, on to the reviews:

Constantine sang "Knights of Broadway" and did a pretty good job with it.  I agree with Simon’s Las Vegas entertainer criticism of the performance and who cares?  The best thing I can say about Constantine’s performance was that his smouldering sexuality was hard to locate this week.   I don’t like the song, and his performance of it did nothing to alter my impression of the song.

Carrie, looking like a toy-doll dressed up by a very lonely little girl, sings a song I can’t stand:  MacArthur Park.  I didn’t think she did a very good job of it.  Yeah, she kept the final warbling notes for a long time, but who cares?  My problem with Carrie is that her eyes always appear vacant, like she’s physically on the stage, but her mind is totally elsewhere.  That she admitted that she had no idea what the song was about was foolish, I thought.  And it added to her empty performance of it.  At least make the lyrics mean something to you, and emote that.  She just sang the words, more or less note for note, and there was nothing behind it. 

I am giving up on liking Scott.  He’s just looks too much a pent up anger bomb.  When he attempts to smile it reminds of Mr. Burns trying to smile.  It’s just not natural.  I do like the impression that Scott at least seems to be investing in the songs he sings.  Too bad his voice can’t live up to the quality of the competition.  An okay job by him, but he’ll be bottom three, again.  Oh, and shut up about your mother picking your songs for you.  Just stop that.

Anthony gave perhaps his strongest vocal performance, but all other aspects of his segment were weak.  He is just a little boy pretending to be a man.  Everyone can see it, can’t you?  He has moments when his voice sounds strong, but they are always followed by moments of weakness and failing.  And he doesn’t know what to do with his body.  He has no ability to control or knowledge of his presence.  He is boring.  I wish he was long gone.  I don’t like him.

Vonzell has another strong week, but was often on the verge of being upstaged by the three excellent background singers.  That was troubling.  I’ve noticed, too, that she has a trick she relies on, which is to laugh as if she’s having fun.  Once it seemed genuine, but week after week, I’m beginning to think it’s affected.  If it is, then boo on her.  She’s gonna go a long way in the competition.

Anwar will be gone after tonight’s show.  I’ve given up on him.  He’s constantly undersold his talents and I’m no longer waiting for him to give the performance I’ve been waiting for from him.  He’s too much a thinker and seems incapable of just doing.  Just sing and enjoy yourself.  Now it’s too late, because he’ll be gone.  And I could care less.

Bo.  Bo and I just don’t get along.  I don’t like the music he sings and I don’t like the way he sings it.  I hate his hair and I guess I just don’t get him.  Only because everyone says he did great will I assume he did great.  I didn’t see it myself.  I never see the brilliance that is apparently Bo.

A pretty boring week, I thought.  Unmemorable.

Bottom three:  Anwar, Carrie, Scott

Leaving:  Anwar  (who should leave:  Anthony.  Always Anthony, until he actually leaves)


  1. graham says:

    Why do you watch this crap, Rob?
    You seem to have better taste then that with most everything else. Is it just that Simon is the new bitter voice for the masses? Is he the George Carlin/Dennis Leary/Richard Pryer of our times?
    I will admit it is satisfying to have the bubblegum-bullshit pop “artists” skewered by a fairly sharp observer.
    It is getting old though.
    Sterile America needs a new bitter voice. I think I know just the man for the job, too….


  2. dylan says:

    Now if Moe Gorman were on American Idol I would watch. Barring that I just can’t watch the crap.


  3. davem says:

    bottom three: bo, anwar, scott… leaving PLEASE SCOTTY PLEASE!


  4. frankie says:

    Is it just me or does Vonzell always appear to be lip-syncing? Her lips are always just a micro-second off it seems. Nobody else has that problem either, so we can’t blame the network. I give her credit for always picking the “right” song though…that’s what is going to win her the competition eventually, if she keeps it up.

    I used to like Bo but he’s ALWAYS THE SAME. For once, I’d like to see him put the microphone stand down and just sing it. I hope he out-lives the other boys (except for Constantine) but I feel strongly he’ll be going home tonight. Boo.


  5. Rusty says:

    El Predicto, El Perfecto!


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