American Idol – Top 12 Men

Let’s see how long this re-capping thing goes.
This year, I’ll give my critique, as if I’m sitting on the left of Simon.

David Hernandez – “In the Midnight Hour”.  Sorry, David, I was watching Stargate: Atlantis and missed your performance.  Your recap video at the end of the show looked okay, though.

Chikezie – “More Today Than Yesterday”.  Sorry, still watching Stargate.  It was a good episode, too, with Ronan and Teal’c joining forces to kill a bunch of wraith.  Watching your recap video, I was wondering what kind of train wreck did I miss.  You looked like some sort of old-timey old timer.  Your looked shocked my ears into temporary deafness and I didn’t take note of your singing in the five second clip I saw.

David Cook – “Happy Together”.  I liked the way you started off kinda slow and sensitive.  I liked it less when you brought it up to the regular tempo and started kind of shouting a bit.  I believe I am the only one of the four judges who liked the way it began more than the way it ended.  You, as a person, are kind of forgettable though.

Jason Yeager – “Moon River”.  Nice try, sir.  Tough song to sing, tricky arrangement.  You did an okay job with it, but I don’t know if the kids will dig it.  Also, you have to work on not looking like Donnie Osmond.

Robbie Carrico – “One”.  I rather enjoyed that.  You seem to know what you’re doing and you’re capable of pulling it off.  At least for tonight.  One word of advice, though:  don’t let yourself get roped into that “I’m The Rocker Dude” thing, because once you get in there, any time you try to come out of it, the other judges will invariably reprimand you for not sticking to your thing, dawg.

David Archuleta – “Shop Around”.  Okay, I’ve fallen in love with you, and have a big man-crush on you.  I can only imagine the affect you’re having on little girls and grandmothers all around North America.  You did a great job singing, no doubt.  But a warning:  Don’t play “the nervous, goofy, shy, aw shucks” thing too much.  It will work for a bit longer, but then people will sicken of it.  Don’t let that happen, because I want to see you win it all.  Because I’m in love with you.

Danny Noriega – “Jailhouse Rock”.  When the music started, so fast, I was worried for you.  You immediately eased my fears, though, by sounding competent.  Then, about a third of the way in, I found you really, really boring.  And I’m not a fan of your “I can be a bitch” attitude.  You’re perhaps a fun novelty to have around for a while, in a “oh my goodness, will he say something outrageous” kind of way.  But ultimately, I don’t think you have what it takes to win.  Your personality will get in your way of advancing to the serious rounds.

Luke Menard – “Everybody’s Talkin'”.  Man oh man, did I NOT like this performance.  Bad song choice, my friend.  Unfortunately for you, I don’t think Everybody’s Talkin’ about your performance.  Really forgettable. (see what I did there, incorporated the song title into my criticism.  Note to self:  Must do that much more often.)

Colton Berry – “Suspicious Minds”.  I didn’t like the way he sang this. Not at all.  I hate when people smile during songs they shouldn’t be smiling through.  Have a look at the lyrics.  They aren’t supposed to be all smiley.  My advice:  go back and re-interpret the song.  How about this:  you and the person you’re singing to both have suspicious minds, right.  You both are distrustful of the other.  What if you make the choice that everything you’re saying to the other person is a lie because you’re actually a lying, cheating son of a bitch.  How would that affect the way you sang the song.  That’s just one idea.  But the one thing not to do is smile your way through the frickin’ thing.  Ugh.  However, I think I have a suspicious mind that the rest of the world disagrees with me, and you’ll be around for a while.

Garrett Haley – “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do”.  I don’t like this kid much.  I think too many people have told you that you look like Leif Garrett, and it’s gone to your head.  You think you’re prettier than you are.  It was as bland a performance as this review of it is accurate.

Jason Castro – “What a Day for a Daydream”.  I thought you did a great job, and worked the song really well.  Couldn’t help but think you look like David Cassidy.  Good strong performance.  Now, next week, lets see what you do without the guitar.  Oh, and glad to hear your grandfather is retiring from his business.

Michael Johns – “Light My Fire”.  I’m trying to like this guy, because you have a great voice.  But you ust so much looks the part of “lead singer” that you bug me.  Although, when you speak, I like him again.  You did a super job being Jim Morrison on that song.  I’d like to see you next week take a risk and really re-interpret a song as your own, rather than do a rehash version of the original song.

All in all, a really strong group of guys.  Jason and David are my two favourites so far.  I expect both to go far.

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