American Idol – Top 6: Andrew Lloyd Warblers

Last week: Mariah Carey theme night. Ugh.
This week: Andrew Lloyd Webber theme night. Ugh.
Next week: Sing The Phone Book theme night.

Why, oh why, are they giving me these shitty theme nights? Do they want me to stop watching? Because I will, I swear to god!

Alright, here are the reviews of the singers I don’t really care about singing songs I don’t really care about. This week, as an added bonus, I’m going to use a new feature of this ScribeFire blog writing program and post a picture for each singer.


Does this dress make me look hot? Yes. Yes it does. It also makes your breasts look like they’re about a mile apart. I missed this performance, visually, but heard it from another room. Sounded okay, but I’m regretting not seeing it.

Jason Castro:

Seriously, I’ve been saying it from day one, but Jason Castro is this generation’s David Cassidy. He even sounds a bit like him. Not a good performance this week, Jason. I liked it at a rate of 75%. You better hope that your fans forgive you this unfortunate theme week and allow you to come back and sing the phone book next week.

Brooke White:

I’ve been talking the past couple of weeks about how I’m waiting for Brooke to have a complete on-air nervous meltdown. I thought it was happening this week when she stopped and started her song again. I cannot look into her pretty eyes, because they are no longer pretty and are now only two pools of panic and sadness. Does she not want to be there anymore? Anyway, a bland performance, unremarkable.

David Archuleta:

As good a voice as he has, I cannot for the life of me remember any of his performances. i think he’s destined to win (he’s the cutest), but his future holds nothing but Disney ballads. I’ve tired of you. You better sing the frig out of that phone book next week!

Carly Smithson:

How long will my career be? It will be *this* long, says the picture. I thought her JC Superstar performance last night was one of her best. But she just doesn’t have the personality to push her into the top 3. Although, she was really pushing her *personality* after her song with her crazy t-shirt gag.

David Cook:

He was the best of the night. Again. Ever since his hair style, I’ve been becoming more and more of a fan. I’m even not being bothered by his Nickebacking Daughtrified voice as much. The guy’s got talent and every week he’s the one to beat. Unfortunately, I don’t think he’ll win because Archuleta has the votes wrapped up I’m guessing. But his success in the business will be greater and longer lasting than any of this year’s crop. That’s what I say.

Bottom Three: Jason Castro, Brooke White, Carly Smithson (Carly only because Syesha out-performed her this week)

Leaving: Brooke White

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