Thought of the Day: Friday, April 25

If I was able to re-design, or reconfigure, the human body and the way it works, one item on my agenda would be this: I’d have the digestive system and, um, refuse disposal system, work so that the farts came after expulsion of the fecal matter. So you would shit, and then you would fart. The farting would then help dislodge some of the remaining, um, matter, making clean-up a bit easier. Kind of like a wind-bidet.

The way it mostly works now, farting followed by shitting, is, well, ass backwards.

3 Comments

  1. If you could reengineer the body, what if there was some kind of intenstial turbocharger for farts? Turbofarts would work better after the fact. Or if it was a belt driven system, superfarts.
    However, just like in a car, the exhaust system would have to be upgraded to avoid a total blow out.

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  2. Good idea, vettel. Maybe the anus opening could be re-jigged a bit so that farts are also directed towards the sides, rather than straight out, thereby increasing the wind-friction on the sides of your bum skin where nuggets could be sticking. Blow them right off with a turbocharged fart. It’d be like a hair-dryer.

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  3. I like the current design. Farts act as an early warning system – like the light on your car dash that says you’re going to have to pit stop to get gas. Except in this case it’s gas then pit stop.

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