Your Voice Isn’t As Good With Makeup On

Yeah, so I’m late to the Sarah Boyle thing.  You know, the ugly woman who can sing.

In case you’re even more late than me, here’s a picture of her.

It’s true.  She’s beyond ugly.
In all honesty, I haven’t seen the video clip of her singing, and now it’s my goal to never see it.  Just like E.T.

I’m patiently waiting as every single person’s Facebook status eventually makes reference to this “magical voice despite being an ugly person” story.  Once that happens, then we can all move on.

From snippets of conversations and blurbs I can’t help but read on the web, I’ve pieced together the whole clip anyway.  And it goes pretty much like this, I reckon:

A warty dragon shows up to terrorize a talent show in Everinghamshire, England.  At first the villagers don’t understand the dragon, and fear its loathsome warts and fire-ugly breath.  But then, just like in all fairy tales, something magical happens:  the dragon shows its true heart, and the villagers, represented by the burghermeister, come to realize that they, in fact, were the loathsome warts and they possessed the fire-ugly breath all along.  They all become chummy good friends, and the dragon goes on to sign guest appearances for shows like Oprah, the good witch of the east, who coincidentally, without her makeup, makes the dragon look positively darling.  Everyone lives happily ever after: Oprah’s ratings have gone up slightly, a month later a terrifying pirate who masturbates parrots becomes the village’s next thing to be afraid of, and the original dragon goes back to being pointed at and feared by those people in her neighbourhood who don’t have access to YouTube.

Is that about right?

3 thoughts on “Your Voice Isn’t As Good With Makeup On

  1. I’m pretty sure that’s a picture of Bruce Vilanch…is this whole Sarah Boyle thing just an ingenious Bruce Vilanch creation? Like his own feel-good Borat character or something?

    Like

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