Hillsborough Bridge Song

For months now, I didn’t know how to delete uploaded files from my typepad account. This kept me from attempting to upload anything, even though I have a large enough storage capacity. Well, tonight I stumbled across the page where I can delete uploaded files.

So, now I can freely upload and delete. Consider yourselves warned.

Over at my for-some-time-dormant-but-recently-ressurected blogspot site, Annekenstein Monster Music (which used to house this very Annekenstein Monster), I’ve posted a couple of songs that I and my friend Dave Stewart recorded years ago, under the rockin’ band name of Chimp. But, since it’s kind of an ordeal to get songs uploaded over there (don’t ask), I kinda let that practice slide. Plus, it felt kinda stupid to try to keep two blogs going.

So, I’ll periodically be posting songs here. A few of them will be somewhat shoddy recordings of otherwise excellent tunes of my own creation. Most of them will be songs by ‘real’ artists, songs that are currently making me groove and move, and that I think others will enjoy as well. If you feel inclined to download these songs, as a means to familiarize yourselves with artists you may not be familiar with, please do so. If you like the songs you download, perhaps you’ll be so kind as to purchase the albums from which they come.

Each song will be available for an undetermined period of time, before it gets replaced by something else, so if you wanna grab, grab sooner rather than later.

Here, then, is my initial upload to The Monster: The Hillsborough Bridge Song. I wrote the lyrics for this song one day, years ago when there used to be a Greenbergs Department store (for about 5 minutes) on Queen Street, where Woolworths used to be, where GNK currently is. I was sitting on one of the curved wooden benches beside the concret bunker known as the Confederation Centre Box Office, and the song (most of it) came pretty quickly. The “Saturday nights” verse came a few weeks later.

As for the recording process, I’ll not get into the details (you can read some of it at AMM if you want). Instead, I’ll just once again state that, at that time, I knew very little about how to record music on a 4 track (today I know little more than I did then). I also had a limited amount of time to record a bunch of songs, so there was little time for going back and making songs better. It was very much a ‘close enough, what’s next’ sort of affair. I didn’t expect anyone would hear them really. Then this stupid internet thing took off, and well, here we are.

My singing on this song is just good enough for me not to be too embarrassed by it (that will come with future posts, if I get brave enough). Also, the guitar playing, while nothing special at all, is about as good as I think I’ll ever get. My one regret with this song (and pretty much all the songs that came from this little singer/songwriter session) was that I felt it necessary to add an awful keyboard arrangement which is particularly horrific during the choruses in this song. I think my reasoning was that neither my guitar playing, nor my singing was strong enough to sustain by themselves, so I must add an ugly keyboard toot-thingy. Ugh. As in all of these songs (not to be confused with the rockin’ Chimp songs), all sounds (unless otherwise noted) come from me, either as voice, (dis)harmony, and/or from me pathetically attempting to get sounds out of a cheap little Casio keyboard which I cannot play.

GMail

Well, I just signed up for Gmail, the Google empire’s latest attempt to rule the internet through providing good service at little or no cost. I was selected for the beta testing because of my blogger account (as, I’m sure, were thousands and thousands others).

My gmail address is sendit2me@gmail.com

Not sure yet how well I’ll like it. But I do like the idea of 1000 mb (a gig) of storage space. And I’m not concerned (yet) about the concept of directed advertising, based on the content of the emails.

I’ll update my initial impressions once I get using it for a while.

Singing >= Pleasant

It’s pretty sad when “better than pleasant” is the best that Paula “I think your farts sound cute, but you know I love you” Abdul can summon up in terms of high praise.

*shudder* I had a nightmare last night that Gloria Estafan was the guest judge for American Idol, and the ‘kids’ had to sing her shitty songs. *shudder*

I’ll tell you right off that I missed the first 30 minutes of American Idol last night. Truth be told, I kinda wish I missed the whole thing. My god, how bland. Still, I’ll critique the first three performers, even though I didn’t see them. Except for the brief 4 second recap at the end of the show.

First up:
Jennifer Hudson…No wait. She got voted out of the competition. Before Crooner John.

First up, Fantasia…another upbeat number, forcing audience participation. I’m guessing her voice irritated those who don’t like her, and even those who were firmly in her camp are starting to lose faith. So profoundly did last week’s vote shake things up. She dedicated her performance to Jennifer Hudson, I hear. I didn’t even know she was sick.

Next, George Huff…his facial expressions are getting more and more animated. I wonder if Pixar is secretly behind the lovable cuddly that is George Huff. His singing, I gather, hasn’t recovered from his two week slide into uh oh. I predict next week George blows the socks off America. He is so due. This week wasn’t strike three. Rather a foul ball into the opposition team’s dugout.

Then, LaToya Jackson…from the 4 second recap, I couldn’t tell how she performed, so I’ll guess. LaToya was okay. If I was feeling randy, I might even say she was aaiight. Wait…just a sec…hyuughhhggh… hyuughhggh… those were dry heaves. I just re-read the part of the sentence where I wrote “feeling Randy”. Hyuughhggh… I declare, sight unseen and sound unheard, LaToya’s performace Dry Toast.

Fourth, Crooner John… Hyuuughhggh. Let me don my too-tight white t-shirt, red pants, goatee and an attitude so that I can say: Worst. Singing. Ever.
For the love of god, Humanity, vote this schlepp off the island!

Fifth, Hawaiin Girl…batting .333 is great in baseball. But when you only hit one out of every three notes. You’re off the team! Or, in America’s mind, You’re in the Top Three! To be fair, those one-in-three-correct notes she did manage, she hit them out of the park! And wasn’t that flower cute. Awwww! Jasmine, you know how much Paula loves you. She loves you enough to lie to you that you have a good, strong voice. Awwww!

Sixth, Diana LaGuardia… I remember when Diana was this >

Singing >= Pleasant

It’s pretty sad when “better than pleasant” is the best that Paula “I think your farts sound cute, but you know I love you” Abdul can summon up in terms of high praise.

*shudder* I had a nightmare last night that Gloria Estafan was the guest judge for American Idol, and the ‘kids’ had to sing her shitty songs. *shudder*

I’ll tell you right off that I missed the first 30 minutes of American Idol last night. Truth be told, I kinda wish I missed the whole thing. My god, how bland. Still, I’ll critique the first three performers, even though I didn’t see them. Except for the brief 4 second recap at the end of the show.

First up:
Jennifer Hudson…No wait. She got voted out of the competition. Before Crooner John.

First up, Fantasia…another upbeat number, forcing audience participation. I’m guessing her voice irritated those who don’t like her, and even those who were firmly in her camp are starting to lose faith. So profoundly did last week’s vote shake things up. She dedicated her performance to Jennifer Hudson, I hear. I didn’t even know she was sick.

Next, George Huff…his facial expressions are getting more and more animated. I wonder if Pixar is secretly behind the lovable cuddly that is George Huff. His singing, I gather, hasn’t recovered from his two week slide into uh oh. I predict next week George blows the socks off America. He is so due. This week wasn’t strike three. Rather a foul ball into the opposition team’s dugout.

Then, LaToya Jackson…from the 4 second recap, I couldn’t tell how she performed, so I’ll guess. LaToya was okay. If I was feeling randy, I might even say she was aaiight. Wait…just a sec…hyuughhhggh… hyuughhggh… those were dry heaves. I just re-read the part of the sentence where I wrote “feeling Randy”. Hyuughhggh… I declare, sight unseen and sound unheard, LaToya’s performace Dry Toast.

Fourth, Crooner John… Hyuuughhggh. Let me don my too-tight white t-shirt, red pants, goatee and an attitude so that I can say: Worst. Singing. Ever.
For the love of god, Humanity, vote this schlepp off the island!

Fifth, Hawaiin Girl…batting .333 is great in baseball. But when you only hit one out of every three notes. You’re off the team! Or, in America’s mind, You’re in the Top Three! To be fair, those one-in-three-correct notes she did manage, she hit them out of the park! And wasn’t that flower cute. Awwww! Jasmine, you know how much Paula loves you. She loves you enough to lie to you that you have a good, strong voice. Awwww!

Sixth, Diana LaGuardia… I remember when Diana was this >

Heh!…Boo!…Ha Ha Ha!

I had heard about the awfulness that is the TV program Scare Tactics. A couple of nights ago, though, I experienced it first hand, and I was repulsed.

If you don’t know what it is, here’s a synopsis: So-And-So is host, and sets up each wacky scenario. Then we see someone get traumatized, then they tell her she’s on Scare Tactics, and they all laugh.
The two scenarios I came across were as follows. Number one: Some rich guy is, apparently, wanting to hire an assistant. At his mansion, he and another assistant (the grifters) lure an unsuspecting young woman (the mark) into the house, I assume, from an ad. Just as the interview begins, a message comes across the intercom/message machine, for all to hear. The message comes from a wacked out fanatic female stalker.
Guy tells victim not to worry, she’s crazy, but can’t get in. SMASH! Something smashed through a bedroom window. Quick, victim and already-assistant, go investigate. “We’re creeped out, but okay…” They go to the bedroom, see a brick that was thrown through a window, with a scary note attached. “We’re even more creeped!”.
They come badk in the main room, and see the guy tied up in a chair, with blood trickling from his head. Crazzee Woman is there, wielding a real-size Clue Impliment. Totally freaked out, the victim is told to sit on the sofa, and then to help tie up the victim.

That was enough for me. I switched the channel. After a quick perusal of other channels, though, I was back.

This time, a young female victim, and another young woman were in a big old house in the woods. It’s night, and apparently some monster is skulking around outside. Some guy is outside with a shotgun, investigating. Victim is getting really freaked, especially when they see the hairy monster slink past windows of the house. Some Guy comes smashing in through a patio door, glass flying everywhere. Followed by Sasquatch.
Victim freaks out, but “hold on, don’t freak out. You’re on Scare Tactics.”

This is the lamest, least interesting crap of schlock on television today. Bleccchh!

I tell ya, Allan Funt is somewhere rolling over in his grave. Of course, his toupe stays in place, making the other patrons of the cemetary do a double take. Now that was comedy!

That was definately enough for me. I’ll not be returning.

A Sneak Peek

Sketch 22, our summer sketch comedy show is coming along very well, thank you. In fact, we have a tentative running order for our sketches and videos, and it’s not yet May. How does this timeline equate to other summertime sketch comedy shows I’ve been involved in? Well, for those, now would probably be the time that we start thinking about maybe committing to putting on a show. So, we’re pretty far ahead of the curve this year.
The sketches themselves are in various states of readiness, many are close to being finished, and we have a couple of hilariously funny videos already in the can.

The next video we shoot should be extra fun. We have a sketch where tourism officials are desperately running out of time and are having difficulty coming up with the next year’s PEI tourism video campaign. They mistakenly leave it in the hands of a friend of a friend of a friend, who just happens to be a producer of pornographic movies. The tourism video he comes up with is very much of his world, and stars some of his stable of actors.

I love the porn actor names we came up with:

Cassandra Cummings, Dick Vertical, Rock Hardon, and (the best porn name I’ve ever come up with:) Kitty Glissenpussy

What Number? Please Hold.

Honk honk

What Number? Please Hold.

Honk honk

Page 23, Sentence 5

Alright, I’m playing along.

From The Crow Road, by Iain Banks:

“A season was a decade, and every year a life.”

It the thing to do:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

r.i.p.

.