The Annekenstein Monster

Would you rather be:

Smarter than you look

or

Not as dumb as you look

??

I’m walking up Fitzroy Street, just outside the ATC, with my headphones on, listening to my iPod. A guy (I’ll say a haggard looking guy) is walking down towards me with his little dog on a leash.

As he meets me, his mouth moves because he’s speaking. I can’t hear him until I remove the phones, at which point I hear the end of his question:

Him: … named Brown?

Me: Pardon?

Him: Some guy named Brown.

At this point, I notice the mucus dripping from his nose. From that moment on, I cannot stop looking at it drip. Ugh.

After a confusing pause:

Me: Are you looking for someone?

Him: Brown. For a job.

Me: Richard Brown? Are you looking for City Hall?

Him: Yeah. I was told if you want a job in this town, you gotta go talk to this Brown fellow.

Me: I don’t know about that, but City Hall is (I tell him the directions)

Off he walks.

I missed doing a review of the top 12 girls.  Mostly because the performances I saw (I saw them all) weren’t really inspiring enough to devote time to typing about them.

I could say the same about the guys performances last night.  Almost.

My gimmick for this review is that, since it’s the Top Ten, I’ll stick to only ten word reviews of each performer.  Not counting names and names of songs.

Theme for the night:  Songs from the ’70s

Here I go:

Michael Johns – Go Your Own Way: His worst performance yet. Strained on high notes. Lackadaisical performance.

Jason Castro – I Just Want To Be Your Everything: Non-memorable. Playing guitar got in the way of vocal consistency.

Luke Menard – Killer Queen: Did not like the falsetto. Simon gets it right again.

Robbie Carrico – Hot Blooded: Rocker?  Not rocker. Rocker? Not rocker.  Who cares.  Just sing.

Danny Noriega – Until You Come Back To Me: Didn’t like you last week. Like you this week. Passable.

David Hernandez – Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone: Well sung, but fakey, emotionally. Didn’t believe what he sang.

Jason Yeager – Long Train Running: Your plot of boring us all is working. Good bye.

Chikezie – I Believe To My Soul: Better than last week, but I didn’t care for song.

David Cook – All Right Now: I was making toast during his performance. Sounded okay, though.

David Archuleta – Imagine: A really great re-arrangement, performed with skill and honest emotion.

Really, only one performance worth talking about, and that was David Archuleta’s.  Really good stuff.  He seems to be head and shoulders above any of the other performers this year.  The only question is:  will we tire of his goofy aw-shucks?

In danger of leaving this week:  Jason Yeager & Robbie Carrico.  Jason needs to go, and I think we’re all tired of Robbie’s insistence of being a rocker despite having the vocal chops for it.

Will remain despite weak performances this week: Michael Johns & John Castro

Technorati Tags: American Idol, Top Ten

I never got into Garfield.  Never found it that amusing, on those rare times when I’d bother to read it at all.
You might say I’m anti-Garfield.
So, when I came across a post on MetaFilter about Garfield Minus Garfield, I didn’t think it would be that interesting to me.  Somebody took a bunch of Garfield strips and removed Garfield from them completely.  What you’re left with is the human character (is his name “John”?) basically talking to himself.
It makes him seem schizophrenic.  I wasn’t expecting to laugh at it at all, but I found myself laughing out loud a number of times.  Without Garfield, the guy is totally bonkers.

Take a look.

How did I do?  Let’s have a look.  I must say the 80th Annual Academy Awards must have surely been one of the more boring of them all.  Yawns all around.

Performance by an actor in a leading role
Daniel Day-Lewis in “There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax)
Correct. 1 for 1.  Totally deserving.

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Javier Bardem in “No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage)
Correct. 2 for 2.  Totally deserving.

Performance by an actress in a leading role
Julie Christie in “Away from Her” (Lionsgate)
Wrong. 2 for 3.  Not upset that Marion Cotillard won.  I haven’t seen La Vie en Rose, but from all accounts it (she) was great.  Always nice when a non-English movie wins.

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Cate Blanchett in “I’m Not There” (The Weinstein Company)
Wrong. 2 for 4.  I liked Tilda Swinton in Michael Clayton, but really didn’t think it was Oscar worthy.  And man o man did Tilda look hard.

Best animated feature film of the year
“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney): Brad Bird
Correct 3 for 5.  Haven’t seen it, but would like to some time.  I’m a Brad Bird fan.

Achievement in art direction
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Art Direction: Jack Fisk; Set Decoration: Jim Erickson
Wrong. 3 for 6.  Very happy that Sweeney Todd won, even though it hurts my Oscar picks score.

Achievement in cinematography
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage): Roger Deakins
Wrong. 3 for 7.  (I’m sucking this year).  Again, not upset with this pick.

Achievement in costume design
“Elizabeth: The Golden Age” (Universal) Alexandra Byrne
Correct. 4 for 8.  Always go with English period costume dramas.

Achievement in directing
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
Correct. 5 for 9.  An easy pick.  Totally deserving.

Best documentary feature
“Taxi to the Dark Side” (THINKFilm) An X-Ray Production: Alex Gibney and Eva Orner
Correct. 6 for 10.  Not surprised by this.

Best documentary short subject
“Salim Baba” A Ropa Vieja Films and Paradox Smoke Production: Tim Sternberg and Francisco Bello
Wrong. 6 for 11.  A total guess.  A total wrong guess.

Achievement in film editing
“The Bourne Ultimatum” (Universal): Christopher Rouse
Correct.  7 for 12.  Surprised (pleasantly) that Bourne picked up the technical awards.

Best foreign language film of the year
“Mongol” Kazakhstan
Wrong. 7 for 13.  If I had done even a bit of research, I would have picked The Counterfeiters.  Didn’t recognize the name.  But when I saw the trailer for it, I figured it to be an Oscar contender.  Seeing the clip of it during the telecast, I realized my error.

Achievement in makeup
“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” (Walt Disney): Ve Neill and Martin Samuel
Wrong. 7 for 14.  This was something of a surprise for me.  Didn’t think La Vie en Rose had a chance.  Still not sure why it won?

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)
“3:10 to Yuma” (Lionsgate) Marco Beltrami
Wrong. 7 for 15.  I just guessed at this one.  Probably didn’t pick Atonement because I wasn’t crazy about the movie.

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)
“Falling Slowly” from “Once” (Fox Searchlight) Music and Lyric by Glen Hansard and: Marketa Irglova
Correct. 8 for 16.  The feel-good win of the night.  Hooray, I said.

Best motion picture of the year
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) A Scott
Rudin/Mike Zoss Production: Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen,
Producers
Correct. 9 for 17.  No surprise, really.

Best animated short film
“Madame Tutli-Putli” (National Film Board of Canada) A National Film
Board of Canada Production Chris Lavis and Maciek Szczerbowski
Wrong. 9 for 18.  Another guess.  Went Canadian, but should have gone “title everyone knows” with Peter & the Wolf.  What was with the film-maker bringing his little doll up with him?  Weird.

Best live action short film
“Il Supplente (The Substitute)” (Sky Cinema Italia) A Frame by Frame Italia Production: Andrea Jublin
Wrong. 9 for 19.  Again, another guess, and again, if I had done even a bit of research, I probably would have voted for the Le Mozart des Pickpockets.  Yeah, right.  Easy to say.

Achievement in sound editing
“The Bourne Ultimatum” (Universal): Karen Baker Landers and Per Hallberg
Correct. 10 for 20.  I figured Bourne would win at least 1 of these technical awards, so I put the name down for all 3 they were nominated for.  Didn’t think it’d take them all.  Not angry at all that they did.  I liked that movie. 

Achievement in sound mixing
“The Bourne Ultimatum” (Universal) Scott Millan, David Parker and Kirk Francis
Correct. 11 for 21.  See my “sound editing” blurb.

Achievement in visual effects
“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” (Walt Disney): John Knoll, Hal Hickel, Charles Gibson and John Frazier
Wrong.  11 for 22.  I guess the Academy was tired of the third installment of Pirates visual wizardry.  Golden Compass takes the gold.

Adapted screenplay
“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” (Miramax/Pathé Renn), Screenplay by Ronald Harwood
Wrong.  11 for 23.  Just in case it wasn’t a “No Country” night, I hedged my bet and went with something other than Coen Brothers here.  Tough category, I thought.

Original screenplay
“Juno” (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production), Written by Diablo Cody
Correct. 12 for 24.  No surprise with this.  Every day I’m liking the movie Juno less and less.  Still, a writer’s award usually goes to a new-comer darling of the industry, and Diablo Cody is certainly that.  I’ll be interested to see if she has anything else to write.

So, 12 for 24.  50%.  That sucks.  Usually, I’m anywhere from 14 to 18 correct, so this was a disappointing campaign for me.

Technorati Tags: Academy Awards, Oscars, Predictions

There’s a website out there called Walken the Walk which is having a Christopher Walken impersonation contest.  People are to send in their video of them impersonating Walken.

I haven’t looked through them all.  Some are really atrocious.  This one stands out as my favourite.

http://www.youtube.com/v/jGLMtrrWx9s&rel=1

Technorati Tags: Walken the Walk, Christopher Walken, impersonation, contest

My good friend, Moe Gorman, has one of his videos up on YouTube.

Check it out below.

http://www.youtube.com/v/xUqT3l9wg3Q&rel=1

Technorati Tags: Moe Gorman, Sketch22

My good friend, Moe Gorman, has one of his videos up on YouTube.

Check it out below.

Technorati Tags: Moe Gorman, Sketch22

The night that the Grammys were on television, we on PEI had a bit of a snowstorm.  Nothing really major, but enough to cancel school the next day.
And enough to get cars stuck in the snowplow drift at the end of their driveways.  Well, at least one car stuck in the snowplow drift at the end of one driveway.
No, not our car, and not our driveway.  But the driveway across and just down the street from us.
Madonna’s house.  Seriously.  Madonna.  That’s her name.
I first noticed the car at about 11:30 at night.  Everyone else in our house had given up on the Grammys much earlier, but I was determined to stay up and watch it to the bitter end.  And it was a bitter end, I thought.  The last 45 minutes of the show stunk up the joint.  But I digress.

I happened to look out our front window and I see this young dude and his white car, half way up the drive in Madonna’s driveway.  I notice because he’s shoveling.  “He’s stuck”, I think to myself.  Sure enough, he was. Because the Grammys were getting boring, I though watching him shove would be more exciting.  The snow was blowing, it was late, he was trying to get out of the driveway; I half expected him to lose his temper and show anger.  I wanted to visually eavesdrop that moment.
So, he does some super fast shoveling, gets in the car.  The red of the brake lights, and the white of the reverse lights shine beautifully in the white snow, reflecting in the dark.  He starts rocking his car.
My personal philosophy when dealing with a stuck-in-the-snow car is that if it can rock, even a bit, you should be able to get it out.  Sure enough, after rocking it back and forth a few times, the car starts backing down the driveway.  But he gets stuck again at the end of the driveway, where the snowplow left a big pile of snow (as it always does).
My first thought was “you’re a lazy idiot for not shoveling out the end of the driveway.  You get what you deserve.”
He is stuck firm.  No rocking of the car at all.  He gets out, shovels a bit around the car, gets back in.  Red lights, white lights, red lights etc.  No rocking at all.
He gets out, moves to the back of the car and tries to push it.  Of course, that manouever is useless.  “All he needs,” I think to myself, “is someone to push while he guns the motor.”
I seriously think of being the hero and rushing out to help him.  But it’s almost midnight on a Sunday, I’m in my comfy, cozy lounge pants, and it’s storming outside.  I decide, instead, to stay warm and watch.  I’m now sure that the tantrum will come any moment.

After about 20 minutes of varying strategies of shoveling, pushing, thinking, standing, shoveling, sitting in car, giving up, resuming to shovel, push, etc., I start wishing really hard that he’d get himself unstuck, as it was now past midnight, the Grammys were really sucking, and I wanted to go to bed.  I could not, however, do that until his situation rectified itself.
He went through a couple of variations of shoveling and pushing with his jacket off (no doubt sweaty from his energetic getting nowhereness), and then jacket on again (no doubt getting pneumonia from sweating and being outside in a snowstorm without a jacket on).

His solo manual efforts were getting him nowhere, and, I knew, wouldn’t get him anywhere.  He needed help.  I couldn’t bring myself to be that help, though.  And then, luck of luck, a car comes down the street.  Surely he’ll stop the car and ask for help.  It would only take a small effort from someone else.  Here comes the car.  It’s a police car! He’s saved!  He’ll stop the police car, they’ll either help or call for help, he’ll get out and I’ll go to bed.

But he does nothing.  He watches as the police car drives slowly past the driveway.  “Why didn’t you stop them?” I yell to him in my brain.  Now I am of the firm conviction that this lazy guy does deserve what he gets.  All he had to do was stop the police and get help.  Then I started formulating the theory that the guy was actually drunk or something, and couldn’t bear having the police catch him in such a state, trying to drive his car.  That was the only explanation.

So, the police car drives into oblivion and he resumes shoveling, pushing, etc. to no affect.  Minutes pass.

That’s it, I have to go to bed.  But I cannot.  I have to see it to its end.  Then, another car trundles its way down from where the police car disappeared.  This time he’ll seek help. I’m sure of it.  But wait!  The car doesn’t drive past.  It pulls into its own driveway, just a couple of houses up the street.  Salvation, I think.  This car’s driver will get out, help him get out, and I’ll go to bed.
Instead, the car’s driver spends maybe ten minutes driving up his own driveway, back down his own driveway.  This seems to be his own weird attempt to clear his driveway of snow, by driving over it.  About ten minutes of driving up and down the driveway.  Then he finally gets out (and I know.. I just know that he sees the original stuck guy there, shoveling to little effect) and… goes into his house.

I am amazed, at this point, that the guy hasn’t had any physical display of a breakdown.  Instead, he remains calm looking as he refuses to give up on his not-working efforts of shoveling and pushing.  The car hasn’t budged an inch.

Finally, about 12:25, he throws down the shovel, goes to Madonna’s door and enters the house.  I didn’t wait around to see if he had given up or not, and skedaddled myself upstairs to bed.

When I woke up the next morning, the white car was gone.

I feel a little bad about not helping.  It wouldn’t have taken a great deal of effort on my part.  But i was in my toasty warm lounge pants and t-shirt.

The last couple of years, I offered an Oscar Picks contest here.  I found that, with approx. 20+ entries to try and check during the telecast, I missed the nuances of the Academy Awards.  Yes.  Nuances.

So, this year, no contest for you to enter.  Just this list of my predictions for you to disagree with.

Here, then, is what will transpire at the 80th Annual Academy Awards:

Performance by an actor in a leading role
Daniel Day-Lewis in “There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax)

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Javier Bardem in “No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage)

Performance by an actress in a leading role
Julie Christie in “Away from Her” (Lionsgate)

Performance by an actress in a supporting role

Cate Blanchett in “I’m Not There” (The Weinstein Company)

Best animated feature film of the year
“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney): Brad Bird

Achievement in art direction
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Art Direction: Jack Fisk; Set Decoration: Jim Erickson

Achievement in cinematography
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage): Roger Deakins

Achievement in costume design
“Elizabeth: The Golden Age” (Universal) Alexandra Byrne

Achievement in directing
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Joel Coen and Ethan Coen

Best documentary feature

“Taxi to the Dark Side” (THINKFilm) An X-Ray Production: Alex Gibney and Eva Orner

Best documentary short subject
“Salim Baba” A Ropa Vieja Films and Paradox Smoke Production: Tim Sternberg and Francisco Bello

Achievement in film editing

“The Bourne Ultimatum” (Universal): Christopher Rouse

Best foreign language film of the year
“Mongol” Kazakhstan

Achievement in makeup
“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” (Walt Disney): Ve Neill and Martin Samuel

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)
“3:10 to Yuma” (Lionsgate) Marco Beltrami

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)

“Falling Slowly” from “Once” (Fox Searchlight) Music and Lyric by Glen Hansard and: Marketa Irglova

Best motion picture of the year
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) A Scott
Rudin/Mike Zoss Production: Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen,
Producers

Best animated short film
“Madame Tutli-Putli” (National Film Board of Canada) A National Film
Board of Canada Production Chris Lavis and Maciek Szczerbowski

Best live action short film
“Il Supplente (The Substitute)” (Sky Cinema Italia) A Frame by Frame Italia Production: Andrea Jublin

Achievement in sound editing

“The Bourne Ultimatum” (Universal): Karen Baker Landers and Per Hallberg

Achievement in sound mixing

“The Bourne Ultimatum” (Universal) Scott Millan, David Parker and Kirk Francis

Achievement in visual effects
“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” (Walt Disney): John Knoll, Hal Hickel, Charles Gibson and John Frazier

Adapted screenplay
“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” (Miramax/Pathé Renn), Screenplay by Ronald Harwood

Original screenplay

“Juno” (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production), Written by Diablo Cody

Technorati Tags: Academy Awards, Oscars, Predictions