The DP Got Cranky

Early Sunday morning last (and sorry for saying "Sunday morning past"), my son, who had been sleeping over at his friend Keaton’s house, called and asked if he and Keaton could make another movie on Sunday.  Reluctantly, I agreed.
So for the rest of the morning and half the afternoon they excitedly dreamed up scenario after scenario, creating an epic film full of action and intrigue.  Being the one who’d have to try and make sense out of it all, and do the actual tough work of editing it into a coherent and not-too-long movie, I nixed most of their ideas.
What they finally decided upon was that Cameron would play "The Black Ninja" and Keaton would play "The White Ninja".  They would also elicit the help of a third person, Matt, to play "The Wizard".  Their after-Rob-rejected-the-too-complicated-plotlines truncated story was:  The Wizard appears to the White Ninja and tells him to kill the Black Ninja.  The two ninjas fight, Black Ninja wins, end of movie.
I suggested: How about the wizard appears to white ninja, tells him that black ninja is bad and to kill him.  Then he appears to black ninja and tells him that white ninja is bad and must be killed.  He appears a couple more times to each, each time telling the one to kill the other.  When the ninjas finally meet, they discover the duplicitous intent of the wizard and end up killing him together.
They loved this idea, and so we all waited for the next hour and a half or so for my wife to get home with the car.
We needed a car, you see, because Keaton had a "great place in mind" to shoot the movie.  It involved a drive of a few minutes to park the car near the Trail and then a couple of minutes walk to to a path, down which there was a great place in mind for shooting.  It had a bridge and a stream and a lake and some wooded areas.  Sounded good so I agreed that would be the location.
Car arrives, I ask Karyn if she wanted to come with us.  She declined and off we went, me and The White Ninja, The Black Ninja and The Wizard.  Parked the car and began walking down the trail.
It took about 15 minutes to get to the path.  I was not anticipating a 15 minute walk (not that it’s long, but you know, I was told a minute or two), so once I got to the path, my desire to continue (or to begin, really) the production was evaporating.  Still, I trudged down the path for another 5 minutes or so.
And we get to the ‘great place in mind’ and I see right away that it’s not going to work.  Too small an area, the bridge was situated in such a way over the stream as to render it useless, the lake was a large green-algae puddle, and the wooded area looks like it’s been used by witches and wiccans, what with the cauldrons and fire pits and corpses (ok, there were no corpses).  And the mosquitoes were infuriatingly bad.
So, I was not a hampy camper.  Still, we went ahead with the setting up of the first shot, which would take place near the firepit.  As I was setting up, though, the mosquitoes literally attacked me and not-literally carried me away.  I declared the fire-pit area a non-shooting worthy location and moved production over to the bridge.  Just as we were about to shoot the first shot, the rain started.  It poured.  Hard
So I aborted the shoot.  We trudged the 5 minutes back up the path, getting soaked under the rain.  We trudged back along the trail. After about 5 more minutes of rain, it stopped, the sun came out and we were dry by the time we got back to the car.
We drove home and spoke no more of the most unfortunate attempt to shoot our latest movie.

1 Comment

  1. graham says:

    Sounds eerily close to how they shoot bigger productions.


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