Rob Picks Idols’ Songs

Based on a comment from Steverino in my post on last night’s American Idol, I’m going to pick ten songs that I think the Idols should have sung.  Of course, the songs I pick may not be feasible, from a “palatable to the public”, but more of a fantasy “if they had the same taste as me” thing.  And, as an added bonus, I’m going to post some of the more interesting songs I choose (at least until my monthly bandwidth disappears).

For Chris, I’d like him to expand his repetoire away from the moody Creed/Nickleback crap.  I’d still like him to rock out, of course, and that’s why I’d have him sing The Pixie’s “Debaser”.  He would absolutely wail on that.  A song choice like that, of course, would never happen.

One that I could actually imagine happening, if I stretch my imagination thin enough, is the song choice I pick for Taylor.  His song choices are pretty good, generally speaking (apart from the atrocious Buddy Holly rendition last week).  I’ll keep him very much within his comfort zone, and go with a John Hiatt song.  I think he’d be great singing any of Hiatt’s songs, but I think he would blow the world away with  his version of “Have A Little Faith In Me”.  Oh, I can just imagine it.

I think Paris can sing pretty much anything.  Or, maybe she’s just really smart at picking what she can sing.  Anyway, I’d like to see her punch, right in the nuts, all those stubs who tell her not to be grown up, to not show her sexuality.  To Paris, I give “Kiss” by Prince.  My, would she ever have fun with that.  Why, I think we’d see Randy blush.

Mandisa is a mystery to me.  I don’t know what suits her, really.  After this week’s stunt, though, she needs a week where she sings a good song well.  She doesn’t have to blast the vocals out of the park, like she tried to do this week.  She just has to remind us that she has a fantastic voice.  To do this, I’ll give her “Constant Craving” by kd lang.

Elliott needs to pick songs that are a bit easier to sing.  He seems to always choose songs (or arranges them in a way) that are tough to sing.  He needs to be soulful and contemporary.  That’s why I pick “Laura” by Scissor Sisters for him.  Not too challenging, vocally, but a song that he could really get into and would really rock the joint.

Bucky, I have a great song for you.  Now, at first you’re gonna mumble how it’s not a country song, but friend, country ain’t workin’ for you.  Or, rather, you’re not workin’ the country.  You need a week where you show us that you belong here.  You need to step out of the country and nail a good vocal.  I am giving you “Tempted” by Squeeze.  I swear to goodness, if you have any talent, and if you do anything close to a good job on this song, you will be my hero.

Kellie, for you I was tempted to give you the song “Oh, Good Grief” by Vince Guaraldi (he of “Peanuts” music fame).  Since you’re likely (playing) too dense to get the joke, Kellie, I’ll tell you.  It’s an instrumental.  Get it?  I think your singing is so unintersting, the only thing that would improve it is if you didn’t sing.  You do a great job of playing dumb, but it’s time to smarten up.  Now, of course, we can’t handle a sudden shift in your personality, so I think “Polyester Bride” by Liz Phair will be the perfect song to start you on the road to being grown up.

Okay, I’m tired.  I can’t be bothered to come up with songs for Ace, Katharine or Lisa.  What songs would you give them?

2 Comments

  1. ace – “make me mad” by the odds

    katharine – “would i lie to you?” by eurythmics

    lisa – “starfish and coffee” by prince

    and rob, thanks for including my fav song of all damn time — “debaser”. yay!

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  2. Lisa could now sing “The Sound of Silence”, right? Obvious choice on her elimination last night. I think Craig Northey is too good for Ace (don’t want to soil that good ol’ band), and that Annie Lennox is too cool for Katharine. Not bad choices, though. Going with Rob’s plan of attack, I’d pick… “I Don’t Want to Hear it Anymore” by Randy Newman (from Springfield’s “Dusty in Memphis”… ‘though I prefer the version Ron Sexsmith does) for Katharine. For Ace, it’s SO wrong… but maybe an abbreviated, higher, just-guitar-and-vocals, soulful version of Hendrix’s “Red House” (with a falsetto finish?). It should be easy for him to sing, and it may just make people think beanie boy’s cool again (if they ever did). As a side note, I think the way Chris is going, he should just belt out “America, Fuck Yeah!” from the Team America soundtrack. It would be perfect for him. I’m still thinking on a better one for Ace… I think I’ll have to do something similar on my blog later, as a “companion piece” to your choices. I’ll try to do the more commercial, “public offering” slant… stuff that would work best for them on the show.

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