Rob Promises: An ER In Every Home

Seeing how two comedians put their names forward this year to run in provincial politics on PEI, I thought it would only make sense for me to do the same.  Therefore, I am officially announcing that I am running as an independent in the election of May 28.  I haven’t filed any papers, and my budget is zero dollars (see how much money I’ve already saved the People of PEI?), and my PR will be nothing more than this website, but I think I have a pretty good chance of winning my riding.  I don’t know, yet, who’s running against me, or, in fact, which riding I am actually in, but I am confident.  And considering that my name won’t be on the ballot, you have to realize just how confident I’d need to be to think I can win.
Yes, I’m that confident.
By the way, I’m running for the newly formed (by me) Bridal Shower
Party.  All gifting can be forwarded to my home address.  I’m
registered at Canadian Tire and Afternoon Delight.

But I realize that I cannot run on just my good looks.  I need some political substance behind the political sexiness that is Rob MacDonald.  Therefore, in the coming weeks you can look forward to reading some of my campaign promises here on the old blog.

Here’s my very first campaign promise:

I promise an ER in every home.

Long enough has this island of a hundred and some-odd thousand people suffer through the impatience of driving more than 5 minutes to get to an emergency room (kudos, by the way, to my campaign writer, me, for coming up with that clever “patience”/”hospital” play on words).  If I get elected, I will do my darnedest to put forward a bill or a proposition or whatever-the-legal-word-is that states every home on PEI be equipped with a fully-functioning emergency room of its own.
Each ER will come with its own doctor and nurse (both would be live-in) staff (3 doctors and nurses per home = 8 hour shifts).  How can you afford so many doctors, you ask.  Good question.  My plan is to Pay More Doctors Less (they are already saving on room and board, right?).  The doctors and nurses can easily supplement their healthcare wages by contracting out for odd-jobs around the house for when they’re not on-duty.  It will be up to the home-owners and healthcare practitioners to agree upon an hourly wage they think is fair.  Personally, I’d suggest $9 / hr for manual labour chores such as shoveling a driveway of snow.  Slightly less for daily chores such as doing the dishes.  Tell you what, I’ll do up a pamphlet with a list of my suggested wages for specific chores.
Single-dwelling homes will have one full staff of doctors and nurses.  Duplexes may share a single in-home ER facility, but the number of healthcare workers employed in the duplex must be doubled.  Apartment buildings can have one ER room per floor, but again, the number of healthcare workers must be increased so that there are 3 doctors and nurses available for every 3.4 persons living on each floor.

This plan will be a long-term solution to the healthcare problems that the Island has faced for decades.  Also, it will be a short-term boon to the construction industry on PEI, as every house will have to be out-fitted for an emergency room.

There you go:  An ER for every home.

Stay tuned to this website for future campaign promises.

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