Canada Rocks The Birth Of Christ!!!

So, it looks like the Confederation Centre has given up on trying to produce/create original artistic work. This Xmas they’ll be presenting Canada Rocks, But For The Christmas Dollar.

Here’s the article from The Guardian

As I’ve said elsewhere, previously: It’s time to take the “of the Arts” out of the name of Confederation Centre. They seem to have completely given up on trying to be inventive with their theatrical production.

In an effort to help the Confed Centre come up with ideas for future productions, I put on my thinking cap and thought of a few ideas that seem to fit the Let’s Present A Playlist of Songs formula that has gripped their artistic money-grubbing minds:

Canada RocksBand! – Two and a half hours of performers playing RockBand in expert mode. Canadian tunes only, of course. Gotta keep that CanCon in there for funding purposes. If they want to get really deep about it, they could have actors players from each province perform and the evening could be kind of a contest.

That Dance Dance Revolution Show
– An hour and a half of dancers playing DDR.

The Confederation Centre of the Arts Presents Karaoke Night at The Kensington Club – pile everyone into a motorcoach and drive them to Kensington for a night of karaoke. The Japanese tourists would eat this up.

iPod Shuffle – a giant iPod shuffle is on a stool on stage. Actors come out and press the play button to reveal what the next song to be performed will be.

Dog Shits On The Stage – this is one for The Mack – a late night show where a dog comes out on stage and shits. Could also be called Shit Ubu Shit.


What tantalizing productions can you come up with? Leave your ideas in the comments. And by asking for comments, I realize that implies a presumption that anyone will even read this never-updating blog’s latest post.

And since it’s a weak tangential reference, here’s Sketch22’s “Canada Rocks Garbage”.

Canada Rocks Garbage

3 Comments

  1. canada from soil to nation: a piece of turf floating in a kiddie pool is centre stage. we watch as it attempts to become the land mass we call canada. “so THAT’S how it happened,” gasps a stunned audience.
    drive at 5: a guy drives a car (windows down) “on his way home from work”. really, the car is on a treadmill (giving the audience the “illusion” that he’s actually driving) while we listen to call-in requests on the driver’s car radio. he may (or may not) pick up a hitchhiker!
    poetry at 14: i read a bunch of poems i wrote when i was 14. the best news of all is that i was very sensitive at that age.
    canada busks: buskers from the streets of ch’town finally make it to the main stage. raw and unrehearsed!

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  2. How about “Canada Mocks”? A musical revue performed by local musicians and ageing Canadian rock luminaries that portrays the unique and tellingly Canadian story of Canadian comedy bands, from Finnegan to Bowser & Blue, from Corky and the Juice Pigs to the Barenaked Ladies, from Sketch-22 to, well, how about Lorne Elliott? I bet Steven Page will be available next summer too. Or maybe the summer after that. Of course, they should see how it flies at Dinner theatres in Calgary first.

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