Let’s see how far I get in reviewing the show this season. Such a long season. And last night was such a long show, despite a pile of pretty competent singers. Here goes:
Quote of the night:
Simon (to the blind guy): It’s okay to be artistic. Just not on this show.
That is perfect.
It was Michael Jackson night. I never knew there were so many MJ songs I didn’t know. Most of the contestants played it smart and didn’t try to tackle any of the Super-Size MJ hits.
Lil Rounds, “The Way You Make Me Feel”: Lil has a great voice, super stage presence, a big booty and bouncy chest skins and seems totally in control of what she’s presenting. She’s the entire package, as they say. Her performance was competent but not spectacular.
Scott, the Blind Guy, “Keep the Faith”: Seated at the piano is his comfort zone. Too bad his vocals weren’t the best. Not terrible, just not all that great. But he’s blind, and inspiring (so Kara keeps reminding us), so no worries. And I’ll keep calling him the blind guy until they stop making his blindness his main identifier.
Danny Downey Jr., “PYT”: When I see him, I see Robert Downey Jr., and that works in Danny’s favour. Like the rest of the world, I really like Danny. Simon nailed it when he said it was a fantastic vocal, but the physicality of Danny was all over the place. But it didn’t matter, because the guy oozes passion and honesty. I feel sad for the day (it may be coming sooner than I like) when I’ve had enough of his personality.
Michael “the Labourer” Sarver, “You Are Not Alone”: He works on an oil rig, you know. He, too, showed a lot of passion, and a surprisingly strong vocal. But he seemed to be trying to hard to express that passion. I fear he’s too forgettable a lovable bear. Nice guy, good voice, but not remarkable enough to make it all the way.
Jasmine Murray, “I’ll Be There”: I’m having a Dickens of a time trying to remember who this person is, and how she performed. Just to be clear, that’s not a good sign.
Kris “CutiePie” Allen, “Remember the Time”: I didn’t like this very much. The guitar playing seemed to get in the way of the singing. Like Simon said, it’s a song that isn’t built for guitar accompaniment. Apparently the young girls (and by that I mean Paula) find him cute, though, so he’ll likely be around for a while.
Allison “forever pegged to be this year’s Rocker Chick” Iraheta, “Give Into Me”: She’s a great singer, but I fear her ADD mouth is going to get her into trouble before the season is out. Just Learn To Shut It, Allison. Don’t speak, just sing.
Anoop “Slumdog Idol” Desai, “Beat It”: I’m rooting for Anoop. He seems like a fun, hiddenly-hip kind of preppy kid. But bad, bad song choice. He’s the only one on the night to take on one of Michael’s untouchable songs. In fact, this might be the only untouchable MJ song. I was going to say Billie Jean, but I think you could at least take Billie Jean in a different way (making it a slower, acoustic type of deal), but Beat It is hard to alter. The vocal isn’t one to showcase a voice, as it’s almost a talk-sing kind of six or seven note range. Anoop didn’t do himself any favours. I hope his personality keeps him around beyond this week. I’m fearful though.
Jorge “I Don’t Need No Steenking Judges” Nunez, “Never Can Say Goodbye”: My least favourite performance of the night. Boring and old.
Megan Joy, “Rockin’ Robin”: I was dumb-founded by this song choice. It’s such a generic old-time rock song. Still, there were moments where Megan was able to bring more to it and made it (for moments at least) almost unique and interesting. While she’s certainly nice to look at, I found it hard to watch Megan perform this because she seemed somehow at odds with it. At times she looked like she was lost, other times like she knew it was a big mistake to pick this song. And her physicality was pretty iffy, like a baby pony just learning to walk, at times. She’s got a very interesting sound and look to her, though, and I hope she makes it through. Such an odd song choice, though, so I don’t know.
Adam Lambert, “Black or White”: Here’s what I don’t like about Adam Lambert: His look seems too carefully crafted. He’s a cross between Axl Rose, Robert Smith of The Cure, and a Jonas Brother. Ugh. No doubt about it, the boy can sing (although I don’t like the way it sounds like he’s screeching at times, a la Axl), and yes, he owns the stage. But, I don’t know, he’s just too… bred to be an idol.
Matt “How I Met Your Idol” Giraud, “Human Nature”: He reminds me of Jason Segal from HIMYM. I was really pleasantly surprised by his performance. I thought it was pretty good. Enough for me to switch from “who is this guy?” to “hope I see more of this guy”.
Alexis “Is This Show Still On?” Grace, “Dirty Diana”: It seemed like everyone, Alexis included, just wanted the show to be over. She did a pretty good job on this, but had the misfortune of going last and getting the judges “we were told we need to be brief” comments. Plus she had the misfortune of being forced to go with the non-sequential telephone/text number. Hope those things don’t screw her in the voting, because I like seeing and hearing her.
My favourite of the night was Danny Downey Jr.
Least favourite was Jorge.
I expect that the show-altering twist will be that the bottom-three will be announced, and then the judges decide which one goes home. Or, in the case of tonight, which two go home.
Really, it could be anyone going home, other than Lil, Danny and Adam. Because, like Simon said, it’s not so much about the artistry, this show. It’s more about popularity. And who knows who The Idiotic Masses of America are sweet on with this group.