Category Archives: Uncategorized

Here I go with another pointless, irrelevant assessment of the guys of AI. Why haven’t I rated the girls’ performances yet? Honestly, I don’t have it in me to do two recaps a week of this show. So, next week, when they go to Top 12, the chicks and the guys will get the full brunt of my wrath. Lucky then, will be the four who get eliminated this week.

Here, then, my super-fast recap:

Luke Menard – “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go”: No, I won’t make a joke about the title of the song and how I’d bet my life that he’ll be one of the two guys who go go this week. I won’t make that joke. But he will go this week, unless the Idiotic Masses of America ™ keep him around. Hope they don’t. Hope he goes.

David Archuleta – “Another Day In Paradise”: He seemed nervous playing the piano and singing at the beginning. Once he left the piano, he picked up the confidence, and, I thought, did a wonderful job. Simon’s right, though. Next week he’s got to brighten the mood.

Danny Noriega – “Tainted Love”: I liked the arrangement of the song, but I really didn’t like the way he performed it. Pretty weak, vocally. He’ll be gone this week, unless tIMoA ™ haven’t grown tired of his personality yet. He’s a weird character, this Danny. I enjoy his attitude, yet at the same time I am completely bored by it. It’s anyone’s guess how long he’ll stay around, but it won’t be because of his vocal talent.

David Hernandez – “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now”: I honestly don’t remember this performance, but I seem to remember thinking he did a good job on a song I don’t like. I do remember the exaggerated eyebrow action. Gotta watch that, kid. Simon says you’re a 100% lock to come back for another week, so I guess I’ll take him at his word.

Michael Johns – “Don’t You (Forget About Me)”: Every time I see him, I like him less. I wasn’t crazy about this performance. I thought there was something lacking. I think what was lacking, actually, was Michael’s talent. I think he looks like a star, sounds like a star, but I don’t think he has the character to be a star. Right now the judges are all over him with praise, but mark my words: someday they’ll come around to my point of view. He’s safe, I assume.

David Cook – “Hello”: When I watched it, I liked the arrangement of the song, but not your performance. I realize now that my not liking it had nothing to do with the performance, and everything to do with your hair. I hate that ‘do, dude. It ruins everything. It was a good performance.

John Castro – “Hellelujah”: Jason’s another one of those guys with a weird personality. Very much a shy odd-duck. I’m pretty sure I like his personality, but I’d not be surprised to realize I actually don’t. In any event, personality aside, I thought this was a good performance. Kind of breathy, and a few soft notes, but I could pass those off as adding to the sensitivity of the performance. I hope he stays around, because I think I like him.

Chikezie – “All The Man That I Need”: Liked the performance, didn’t like the song. I don’t know what to make of Chikezie. I think he may be the forgotten voice in this group. I think he has a nice voice, seems to have something of a personality, but I wouldn’t be surprised any week if he gets voted out because he seems to be an invisible contestant. I’m not even sure what that means, but I think I’m right. I hope he sticks around.

I’ll say Luke Menard is definitely going, and the second to leave this week will be either Chikezie or Danny Noriega. I’d also not be surprised if Michael Johns leaves.I’ll put it on the line, though, and say Menard and Chikezie don’t make it to Top 12.

Technorati Tags: American Idol, Top 8 Guys

Lab results show claims about natural product from P.E.I. questionable
from CBC | Prince Edward Island News

Claims that a nutritional supplement, advertised as being manufactured on
Prince Edward Island, is made from natural sources are questionable, an
investigation by CBC News has found.

So, this is the 100th anniversary of Lucy Maud Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables. There are many celebrations and events taking place on PEI this year to commemorate the publication of the book.

This year saw the publication of a new “Anne” book by Budge Wilson, entitled “Before Green Gables“. This novel tells the story of Anne Shirley’s difficult early life before she arrived at Green Gables.
It’s an interesting idea, imagining the events and incidents that shaped Anne into the lovable character we all cherish.

But I don’t think Budge went far enough. To really understand Anne, I think we need to go right back to before her birth. We need to know about her gestation. I want to know everything about those pre-birth months, from the moment Walter Shirley’s lucky sperm met Bertha’s egg. I assume everyone else does too.

So, that’s why I’m writing Anne of Amniotic Uterus, a new novel that tells of the pre-life and loves of the precocious fetus that would become Anne with an E.

As a teaser, I hereby offer up the first sentence of my novel. I hope you enjoy it:

Miss Bertha Shirley’s ovary resided just where the Uterine main wall
dipped down into a little cervix, fringed with myometrium and ladies’
endometrium and traversed by a vagina that had its source away back in
the fallopian tubes of the old Pelvic Basin; it was reputed to be an
intricate, headlong vagina in its earlier course through the labia
minora, with dark secrets of pool and cascade; but by the time it
reached Shirley’s ovaries it was a quiet, well-conducted little womb,
for not even a sigmoid colon could run past Miss Bertha Shirley’s ova
without due regard for decency and decorum; it probably was conscious
that Shirley’s ovary was ripe with estrogen, keeping a sharp eye on
everything that passed, from egg and spermatazoa, and that if she
noticed anything odd or out of place she would never rest until she had
ferreted out the whys and wherefores thereof.

Technorati Tags: Anne of Green Gables, Budge Wilson, Before Green Gables, satire

Would you rather be:

Smarter than you look

or

Not as dumb as you look

??

I’m walking up Fitzroy Street, just outside the ATC, with my headphones on, listening to my iPod. A guy (I’ll say a haggard looking guy) is walking down towards me with his little dog on a leash.

As he meets me, his mouth moves because he’s speaking. I can’t hear him until I remove the phones, at which point I hear the end of his question:

Him: … named Brown?

Me: Pardon?

Him: Some guy named Brown.

At this point, I notice the mucus dripping from his nose. From that moment on, I cannot stop looking at it drip. Ugh.

After a confusing pause:

Me: Are you looking for someone?

Him: Brown. For a job.

Me: Richard Brown? Are you looking for City Hall?

Him: Yeah. I was told if you want a job in this town, you gotta go talk to this Brown fellow.

Me: I don’t know about that, but City Hall is (I tell him the directions)

Off he walks.

I missed doing a review of the top 12 girls.  Mostly because the performances I saw (I saw them all) weren’t really inspiring enough to devote time to typing about them.

I could say the same about the guys performances last night.  Almost.

My gimmick for this review is that, since it’s the Top Ten, I’ll stick to only ten word reviews of each performer.  Not counting names and names of songs.

Theme for the night:  Songs from the ’70s

Here I go:

Michael Johns – Go Your Own Way: His worst performance yet. Strained on high notes. Lackadaisical performance.

Jason Castro – I Just Want To Be Your Everything: Non-memorable. Playing guitar got in the way of vocal consistency.

Luke Menard – Killer Queen: Did not like the falsetto. Simon gets it right again.

Robbie Carrico – Hot Blooded: Rocker?  Not rocker. Rocker? Not rocker.  Who cares.  Just sing.

Danny Noriega – Until You Come Back To Me: Didn’t like you last week. Like you this week. Passable.

David Hernandez – Papa Was A Rollin’ Stone: Well sung, but fakey, emotionally. Didn’t believe what he sang.

Jason Yeager – Long Train Running: Your plot of boring us all is working. Good bye.

Chikezie – I Believe To My Soul: Better than last week, but I didn’t care for song.

David Cook – All Right Now: I was making toast during his performance. Sounded okay, though.

David Archuleta – Imagine: A really great re-arrangement, performed with skill and honest emotion.

Really, only one performance worth talking about, and that was David Archuleta’s.  Really good stuff.  He seems to be head and shoulders above any of the other performers this year.  The only question is:  will we tire of his goofy aw-shucks?

In danger of leaving this week:  Jason Yeager & Robbie Carrico.  Jason needs to go, and I think we’re all tired of Robbie’s insistence of being a rocker despite having the vocal chops for it.

Will remain despite weak performances this week: Michael Johns & John Castro

Technorati Tags: American Idol, Top Ten

I never got into Garfield.  Never found it that amusing, on those rare times when I’d bother to read it at all.
You might say I’m anti-Garfield.
So, when I came across a post on MetaFilter about Garfield Minus Garfield, I didn’t think it would be that interesting to me.  Somebody took a bunch of Garfield strips and removed Garfield from them completely.  What you’re left with is the human character (is his name “John”?) basically talking to himself.
It makes him seem schizophrenic.  I wasn’t expecting to laugh at it at all, but I found myself laughing out loud a number of times.  Without Garfield, the guy is totally bonkers.

Take a look.

How did I do?  Let’s have a look.  I must say the 80th Annual Academy Awards must have surely been one of the more boring of them all.  Yawns all around.

Performance by an actor in a leading role
Daniel Day-Lewis in “There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax)
Correct. 1 for 1.  Totally deserving.

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Javier Bardem in “No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage)
Correct. 2 for 2.  Totally deserving.

Performance by an actress in a leading role
Julie Christie in “Away from Her” (Lionsgate)
Wrong. 2 for 3.  Not upset that Marion Cotillard won.  I haven’t seen La Vie en Rose, but from all accounts it (she) was great.  Always nice when a non-English movie wins.

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Cate Blanchett in “I’m Not There” (The Weinstein Company)
Wrong. 2 for 4.  I liked Tilda Swinton in Michael Clayton, but really didn’t think it was Oscar worthy.  And man o man did Tilda look hard.

Best animated feature film of the year
“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney): Brad Bird
Correct 3 for 5.  Haven’t seen it, but would like to some time.  I’m a Brad Bird fan.

Achievement in art direction
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Art Direction: Jack Fisk; Set Decoration: Jim Erickson
Wrong. 3 for 6.  Very happy that Sweeney Todd won, even though it hurts my Oscar picks score.

Achievement in cinematography
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage): Roger Deakins
Wrong. 3 for 7.  (I’m sucking this year).  Again, not upset with this pick.

Achievement in costume design
“Elizabeth: The Golden Age” (Universal) Alexandra Byrne
Correct. 4 for 8.  Always go with English period costume dramas.

Achievement in directing
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
Correct. 5 for 9.  An easy pick.  Totally deserving.

Best documentary feature
“Taxi to the Dark Side” (THINKFilm) An X-Ray Production: Alex Gibney and Eva Orner
Correct. 6 for 10.  Not surprised by this.

Best documentary short subject
“Salim Baba” A Ropa Vieja Films and Paradox Smoke Production: Tim Sternberg and Francisco Bello
Wrong. 6 for 11.  A total guess.  A total wrong guess.

Achievement in film editing
“The Bourne Ultimatum” (Universal): Christopher Rouse
Correct.  7 for 12.  Surprised (pleasantly) that Bourne picked up the technical awards.

Best foreign language film of the year
“Mongol” Kazakhstan
Wrong. 7 for 13.  If I had done even a bit of research, I would have picked The Counterfeiters.  Didn’t recognize the name.  But when I saw the trailer for it, I figured it to be an Oscar contender.  Seeing the clip of it during the telecast, I realized my error.

Achievement in makeup
“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” (Walt Disney): Ve Neill and Martin Samuel
Wrong. 7 for 14.  This was something of a surprise for me.  Didn’t think La Vie en Rose had a chance.  Still not sure why it won?

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)
“3:10 to Yuma” (Lionsgate) Marco Beltrami
Wrong. 7 for 15.  I just guessed at this one.  Probably didn’t pick Atonement because I wasn’t crazy about the movie.

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)
“Falling Slowly” from “Once” (Fox Searchlight) Music and Lyric by Glen Hansard and: Marketa Irglova
Correct. 8 for 16.  The feel-good win of the night.  Hooray, I said.

Best motion picture of the year
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) A Scott
Rudin/Mike Zoss Production: Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen,
Producers
Correct. 9 for 17.  No surprise, really.

Best animated short film
“Madame Tutli-Putli” (National Film Board of Canada) A National Film
Board of Canada Production Chris Lavis and Maciek Szczerbowski
Wrong. 9 for 18.  Another guess.  Went Canadian, but should have gone “title everyone knows” with Peter & the Wolf.  What was with the film-maker bringing his little doll up with him?  Weird.

Best live action short film
“Il Supplente (The Substitute)” (Sky Cinema Italia) A Frame by Frame Italia Production: Andrea Jublin
Wrong. 9 for 19.  Again, another guess, and again, if I had done even a bit of research, I probably would have voted for the Le Mozart des Pickpockets.  Yeah, right.  Easy to say.

Achievement in sound editing
“The Bourne Ultimatum” (Universal): Karen Baker Landers and Per Hallberg
Correct. 10 for 20.  I figured Bourne would win at least 1 of these technical awards, so I put the name down for all 3 they were nominated for.  Didn’t think it’d take them all.  Not angry at all that they did.  I liked that movie. 

Achievement in sound mixing
“The Bourne Ultimatum” (Universal) Scott Millan, David Parker and Kirk Francis
Correct. 11 for 21.  See my “sound editing” blurb.

Achievement in visual effects
“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” (Walt Disney): John Knoll, Hal Hickel, Charles Gibson and John Frazier
Wrong.  11 for 22.  I guess the Academy was tired of the third installment of Pirates visual wizardry.  Golden Compass takes the gold.

Adapted screenplay
“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” (Miramax/Pathé Renn), Screenplay by Ronald Harwood
Wrong.  11 for 23.  Just in case it wasn’t a “No Country” night, I hedged my bet and went with something other than Coen Brothers here.  Tough category, I thought.

Original screenplay
“Juno” (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production), Written by Diablo Cody
Correct. 12 for 24.  No surprise with this.  Every day I’m liking the movie Juno less and less.  Still, a writer’s award usually goes to a new-comer darling of the industry, and Diablo Cody is certainly that.  I’ll be interested to see if she has anything else to write.

So, 12 for 24.  50%.  That sucks.  Usually, I’m anywhere from 14 to 18 correct, so this was a disappointing campaign for me.

Technorati Tags: Academy Awards, Oscars, Predictions

There’s a website out there called Walken the Walk which is having a Christopher Walken impersonation contest.  People are to send in their video of them impersonating Walken.

I haven’t looked through them all.  Some are really atrocious.  This one stands out as my favourite.

http://www.youtube.com/v/jGLMtrrWx9s&rel=1

Technorati Tags: Walken the Walk, Christopher Walken, impersonation, contest

My good friend, Moe Gorman, has one of his videos up on YouTube.

Check it out below.

http://www.youtube.com/v/xUqT3l9wg3Q&rel=1

Technorati Tags: Moe Gorman, Sketch22