The Annekenstein Monster

So, it looks like the Confederation Centre has given up on trying to produce/create original artistic work. This Xmas they’ll be presenting Canada Rocks, But For The Christmas Dollar.

Here’s the article from The Guardian

As I’ve said elsewhere, previously: It’s time to take the “of the Arts” out of the name of Confederation Centre. They seem to have completely given up on trying to be inventive with their theatrical production.

In an effort to help the Confed Centre come up with ideas for future productions, I put on my thinking cap and thought of a few ideas that seem to fit the Let’s Present A Playlist of Songs formula that has gripped their artistic money-grubbing minds:

Canada RocksBand! – Two and a half hours of performers playing RockBand in expert mode. Canadian tunes only, of course. Gotta keep that CanCon in there for funding purposes. If they want to get really deep about it, they could have actors players from each province perform and the evening could be kind of a contest.

That Dance Dance Revolution Show – An hour and a half of dancers playing DDR.

The Confederation Centre of the Arts Presents Karaoke Night at The Kensington Club – pile everyone into a motorcoach and drive them to Kensington for a night of karaoke. The Japanese tourists would eat this up.

iPod Shuffle – a giant iPod shuffle is on a stool on stage. Actors come out and press the play button to reveal what the next song to be performed will be.

Dog Shits On The Stage – this is one for The Mack – a late night show where a dog comes out on stage and shits. Could also be called Shit Ubu Shit.

What tantalizing productions can you come up with? Leave your ideas in the comments. And by asking for comments, I realize that implies a presumption that anyone will even read this never-updating blog’s latest post.

And since it’s a weak tangential reference, here’s Sketch22’s “Canada Rocks Garbage”.

Canada Rocks Garbage

I noticed Rob hasn’t been posting here very much lately, and so I thought I’d touch base with him and see what the scoop is. Here’s that interview:

RM: So, you haven’t been posting much here lately. What’s the scoop?

Rob: You noticed, huh? Well, here’s the thing: For one, I was getting a bit tired with what I was posting, and for two, I was really busy with getting Season Five of Sketch22 up and running.

RM: Ah, yes, that little sketch comedy thing you and a few colleagues do each summer. How go the preparations for this year?

Rob: Actually, we opened this past week.

RM: Oh. Guess I’m not very prepared for this interview. So, how was opening?

Rob: Thursday was really great, despite a few technical glitches with the video. It kept freezing. But we muddled through that, and the audience was very supportive. The live material went over very well. Friday night, the video worked much better, and the live stuff was very well received again.

RM: The response has been pretty good, then?

Rob: So far, yes. Overwhelmingly positive, it seems. And the best thing about it is that practically everyone I speak to about the show has a different sketch that’s their favourite. I have heard probably 7 or 8 sketches or videos being called “my favourite” from different people. I think that speaks well for the overall appeal of the show.

RM: Can you give me some examples of sketches or characters I’ll see if I go to the show?

Rob: Sorry, don’t like to give anything away. Just come see the show and I can practically guarantee you’ll leave satisfied and happy.

RM: Anything in the show this year that might cause people to walk out in disgust or anger? Previous seasons had people walking out, right?

Rob: A couple of people have left our show early in the past, yes. But the vast majority of people who come to the show really seem to like it. I think the “disgust” thing is somewhat overblown. And while there will always be someone who is upset about something, no matter what you do, I don’t think there’s anything particular that will cause people to feel they need to leave the theatre. That’s not to say there aren’t some sketches that ask the audience to come along on a ride along some tenuous lines.

RM: Fantastic! So, what are the details about the show. The when and where type things.

Rob: Right. Sketch22 plays every Thursday and Friday night at The Guild in Charlottetown. Show starts at 8pm, doors to the theatre open at 7:30. We charge $20 for tickets, but The Guild feels the need to charge a 50 cents charge per ticket, so tickets are actually $20.50. You can buy them in advance at The Guild Box Office.

RM: Why not just have your tickets be $19.50 so that each ticket totals $20 even?

Rob: We talked about that. I’d rather not get into that. Suffice it to say, we’ve been less than happy with the way The Guild is being run and staying at $20 is a small boycott of some of their foolishness. Even though a $20.50 charge is a pain in the ass to the audience.

RM: Super! Thanks for the interview, and here’s to hoping we get to read more posts from you in the future.

Rob: You can count on it. You’re welcome.

Where I work, the fixtures in the bathrooms have automated sensors so that they flush by themselves when you move away from the toilets or urinals, and the faucets come on when you put your hands underneath the spout, etc.

However, when I am standing at the one urinal on our floor, it automatically flushes about three times as I, um, evacuate my bladder, rather than the one time after I am finished. I have come to the conclusion that the sensors do not respond to one’s physical body, but to your very soul. That is the only reason I can come up with why the urinal would would flush even though my physical body does not move away, or even move in the slightest, as I pee.

Therefore, my soul escapes my body through my pee-hole.

This weekend, Bob Anderson, the actor who played the young George Bailey in It’s A Wonderful Life, passed away at the age of 75.

I always liked the way he played George. I loved his kinda raspy voice.

And this scene always has, and likely always will, make me get all teary eyed:

Normal
0

false
false
false

MicrosoftInternetExplorer4

<!–
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{mso-style-parent:””;
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:”Times New Roman”;
mso-fareast-font-family:”Times New Roman”;}
@page Section1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;
mso-header-margin:.5in;
mso-footer-margin:.5in;
mso-paper-source:0;}
div.Section1
{page:Section1;}
–>

/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:”Table Normal”;
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:””;
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:”Times New Roman”;
mso-ansi-language:#0400;
mso-fareast-language:#0400;
mso-bidi-language:#0400;}

George: Mr. Gower, you don’t know what you’re doing. You put something wrong in those
capsules. I know you’re unhappy. You got that telegrams and you’re upset. You put something bad in those capsules. It wasn’t your fault, Mr. Gower. Just look and see what you did. Look at the bottle you took the powder
from. It’s poison! I tell you it’s poison. I know you feel bad.

Gower: I didn’t know…
Oh…

George: Don’t hurt my
sore ear again.

Gower: Oh no, no, no… Oh, George. George

George: Oh, Mr. Gower, I won’t ever tell anyone. I know what you’re feeling. I won’t tell a soul. Hope to die, I won’t.

Gower: Oh, George,
George.

He played that scene so well. So brave and so vulnerable. And, from this excerpt from People.com, is perhaps the reason it was played so well:

In one scene, the story called for him to spot a potentially fatal error made by a drunken druggist, played by H.B. Warner.

Warner took the role seriously and on the day of shooting had been
drinking and was “pretty ripe,” Victoria Anderson said. The scene
called for Warner’s character to slap the boy.

Anderson told the Los Angeles Times in 1996 that the scene and its rehearsals were painful.

“He actually bloodied my ear,” Anderson told the paper. “My ear was beat up and my face was red, and I was in tears.”

“At the end when it was all over, he (Warner) was very lovable. He
grabbed me and hugged me, and he meant it,” Anderson said.

In this CBCNews story, a two-year old kid, Dakota Harding, wandered away from the Charlottetown daycare she goes went to and ended up at a nearby mall. The daycare staff didn’t notice. The parents are outraged.

What wasn’t reported was the reason the kid went to the mall: she was shopping for a better name than “Dakota”.

Is that the best joke I could come up with? Guess so.

1) in motorsports, there is nothing better than a Formula 1 race in which rain interferes with a portion of the race. Yesterday was the Monaco Grand Prix, usually very much a processional race where there is no passing. Usually whomever makes it to the first corner of the first lap is the winner of the race, and the rest of the field follows suit, all in order.
But start the race in rain which continues for a good third of the race, and then continue through the rest of the race with a drying track but still with the threat of rain, and you’ve got a humdinger of a race. One of the better F1 races in recent years (at least in terms of keeping my attention).

2) I try to enjoy NASCAR. I really do. But 4 hours of driving around in a circle is just too boring. Yeah, it’s close car to car action, and there’s a lot of overtaking, but it’s all rather unnecessary until the final 100 miles.

3) It’s a shame that the Indianapolis 500 has become irrelevant. What will it take to get a good open-wheel series happening in North America? One that isn’t comprised solely of oval-course racing? I long for the days of CHAMP car back in the early 90’s. It was like the perfect amalgamation of the speed and excitement of F1 and the frequent-passing of NASCAR. Too bad they went and ruined it.

Today on my Facebook page, I saw a notice that Trilby Jeeves (one of the best names ever!) is holding a 2 day Buffoonery workshop, June 21-22 at The Kier Gallery.
This notice immediately brought back a wash of great memories for me because 20 years ago (that sounds like an impossibly long time ago to be talking about and not referencing my childhood) I and a bunch of theatre friends took a 2 day buffoonery workshop from Trilby. We did the workshop at the old Off Stage theatre (now City Cinema).

It was a fantastic workshop. I was never a fan of clowns (those blue-wigged, face-painted, big-shoed circus clowns) but was told that le bouffon was a different kind of clowning from that stereotype. Basically, buffoons love to entertain their audience by any means necessary. Buffoons are the ultimate approval-seekers. However, they usually fail in gaining the approval they seek through their own character flaws. That is where the entertainment comes from. I fell in love with this style of clowning, and am so glad I was shown it.

Anyway, the workshop was fantastic, and even now, 20 years later, I find myself utilizing techniques and ideas I was taught and discovered that weekend. it was one of the most valuable “acting” workshops I ever took.

It was also one of the most fun.

After the workshop was done, a group of us produced a few clown shows for kids (and grownups too) and had a blast doing them. Some of the most enjoyable performing I’ve ever done.

If you’re an actor and you’d like to learn to be more comfortable on stage; to be better able to get to the “truth” of the characters you play; to have tons of fun and learn a new (old) performance style, you should take this workshop.

Reading the words above probably won’t make anybody say “yeah, I gotta do this” (if anybody even still reads this blog), but know this: I don’t endorse many things, and generally keep my opinions to myself, but the buffoon workshop was one of my favourite ‘theatre’ experiences and I heartily encourage anyone and everyone (actor or not) to take it.

You’ll love it.

I think, if I was a woman, and I had basically the same personality traits as I have now as a man, I’d be rather self-conscious of my breasts. I’m pretty sure I’d be one of those girls who hunch their shoulders forward to keep their bosoms from sticking out. Also, I’d be mortified anytime my nipple bumps would show through my clothing.

Yeah, I’d definitely be a hunch-shouldered sweater girl.

Is it creepy? Take a photo that contains a man and baby, swap their heads. Sounds not too creepy. But I think the results are generally creepy. And funny.

Check out some more at Manbabies

GET MORE AT ManBabies.com!