Moe Gorman Sings

Sketch 22 is in the process of creating something (a couple of somethings, actually)  other than a sketch comedy theatre show for this summer (although we’re currently writing sketches for that, too).  For fear of spoiling the possibility of it coming to fruition, I’ll not say anything further on what it (they) is (are).
One of the elements, though, required me to record some Moe Gorman songs.  For those who don’t know, Moe is a character I created for last summer’s show.  He’s a fictitious descendant of the real Larry Gorman who was a 19th century PEI poet and songwriter, who, as Moe says "wrote and sang songs about them what pissed him off." 
Moe has not one bit of poetic or singing talent, but nonetheless feels the urge to carry on the Gorman tradition of creating songs about the people who done him wrong. Despite his lack of talent or ability, he does have oodles and oodles of passion and belief in what he’s singing, and in that, I suppose, lies his appeal.
No matter how slight the slight to him, Moe is likely to write a song about it.  Last summer for Sketch 22, Moe hocked his CD Moe Gorman – Songs of Slander and Libel and sang a couple of the songs that were on this (non-existent) CD.
Well, some of his songs are now recorded and will soon be available for public ?enjoyment?.
Even though I am not a great (or all that good) singer, it’s difficult to sing songs that are purposefully tuneless.  It’s even more difficult when the songs are such poorly crafted works.  Structurally speaking, the lyrics are abysmal, with horrible run-on sentences and absolutley nothing to hitch a melody to.

Here are the titles of the songs I recorded Monday night:
Phillip Arsenault’s A Real Arsehole
I’m Glad She’s Dead
Dan Simmons Got A Real Small Dick (And He Don’t Know How To Use It)
First Time I Stepped Foot On This Campus In Twelve Years
Keep The Thirty Bucks
(Ya Stupid) Snowplow Operator
Rubber Sheets
A Partial List of The Affairs I Know About

Here are the lyrics to my personal favourite Moe Gorman song:
I’m Glad She’s Dead
Sybil Monroe never gave me the time of day when we was going to school
She thought she was too good for me, and would laugh at me clothes.
Well, the last laugh’s on her,
‘Cause now she’s dead.
And I’m glad.
Oh yes, I’m glad she’s dead, oh yeah.
I’m glad her poor old mother outlived her.
And her stuck up friends, like Gladys Kennedy, and that fat one, Sharlene O’Connor
Crying their tears and smudging up their makeup at the funeral
Can go to Hell too.

Stay tuned for future updates on how you can get a little Moe into your world.


  1. Sidney says:

    You have no idea how much I love this. I don’t know if you had picked up on my small crush on Moe.
    Keep em comin.


  2. Nils says:

    Moe Gorman was absolutely my favourite character in Sketch-22 … and in fact, one of the favourite characters that you’ve ever created, and I’ve seen most of ’em. On the one hand, the character himself was kinda funny and goofy – the thick Island accent, the thrust-out, defiant, screw-yez-all jaw … brilliant.

    But more than that, I loved what I took to be a gentle jibe at the culture that reveres Larry Gorman as a poet and a genius. Which, maybe he was, but he was also pretty much a jerk, by all accounts. From what I’ve heard and read about him, he wouldn’t be welcome in my house, even if he did make up good songs.

    I’ve wondered, more than once, what some of Larry Gorman’s neighbours might think if they were around to see him treated like a cultural icon. And I’m not saying he wasn’t one, just saying they might look up and go “That asshole??? You’re shittin’ me!”

    Anyway, Moe was a letter perfect take on this, and I’ll be first in line to buy the CD …


  3. sprague says:

    That’s so offensive!!!


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