Okay, so this must be one of those artsy European Movie trailers, because I’ve seen it a couple of times now, and I don’t know what’s going on. I’ve not read the book (or was it a graphic novel?) that this movie was based upon, so I’m pretty much going to have to do a bit of deductive reasoning and look for meanings behind the scenes in order to figure out what’s going on. But, I think that’s what this movie is supposed to be about anyway, isn’t it? Solving a puzzle? Kind of like a Whodunnit?
With ominous and foreboding “danger this way lies” music underneath, the trailer opens on what I believe to be an amusement park. It’s dark, so I can’t really tell. But there is all kinds of scaffolding for what I’ll assume in a roller coaster. It’s night, and it looks like the park is closed (doesn’t look like much of a fun-park, either. More of the type that Cirque De Soliel would perform at. You know, an artsy park. Kind of like Victoria Park when the Shakespeare people take over for the weekend.
We hear someone whispering in a language that I do not understand. I think it may be Elvish, which makes me think that maybe this could be a prequel to Lord of The Rings or Star Wars. Probably LotR, because when we see a profile shot of the guy talking his crazy language, it looks just like the Elf King in LotR. The next scene, though, makes me second-guess that thought (very Agatha Christie, Mr. Howard, keeping me guessing!). This scene is a very scary one in which a guy self-flaggelates (can you believe little Ronnie Howard would ever show that in one of his movies?!?). This clue makes me think that it might be Star Wars, because the guy whipping himself looks like what I imagine Darth Blue-face-with-red-eyes looks like without his shirt on (that’s not to say that I’ve ever imagined what Darth Bfwre looks like without a shirt on).
After the opening credits, I realise I’m totally bewildered, because now we’re panning in on what looks to be Hogwart’s school from Harry Potter. AND, the voice-over sounds exactly like the headmaster of that school. AND, to add further confusion, he also sounds just like Gandalf from LotR (and, maybe the bad guy from the X-Men movies!!!), so I now don’t know what this movie is a sequel to. Perhaps this is what the movie is about? Perhaps the DaVinci Code is a puzzle to try and find that out? I’m up to the challenge.
As Gandalf talks (I found his voice-over very much too expositiony) we see shots of various clues as to what movie this is sequelling. Here are my guesses as to what the Movie Sequel clues are: one scene, the guy is crouching like Naked Arnold in Terminator movies, but he’s on top of a glass building? just like Tom Cruise in the M:i series. Next shot is definitely a clue about Monty Python and The Holy Grail. Next is House of Flying Daggers, then they walk into a room that looks vaguely like the set to Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, then we cross-fade to someone picking up a Catholic cross (nice editing here, by the way).
Okay, I admit it. I am totally flabbergasted. I have lots of clues but I cannot piece them together.
Finally, we come to a picture of The Last Supper (this must be the DaVinci element to the movie), which makes me wonder “Life of Brian”? I don’t know.
Hey, it’s Tom Hanks! But it looks like it might be “serious” Tom, rather than “funny” Tom. Cut to a guy (Sean Connery?) running through a museum, looking like he really wants to get out of there (that’s how I used to feel when we’d go on field trips to museums in elementary school).
Back to a guy in a black hooded cape (exactly like the capes the Darths’ wear!) and then a bunch of quick-edit shots as the music soars and swells. Some of paintings in museums (a museum heist movie?), some of Tom Hanks, a woman, car chases, grafitti on The Mona Lisa, people busting in through doors, falling down wells… ending with someone tossing into the air one of those anagram keychain thingys.
Holy smokes, I am totally frigging lost! If anyone has any clues as to what this movie is about, clue me in.