Rob Promises – Every Job A Seasonal Job

Yesterday, it was brought to my attention that my new, non-existent political party, The Bridal Shower Party, can also be called The BS Party.  Yeah, yeah, ha ha!  I’m standing by it, my friends.  By the way, I’m now registered at Burke Electric and Johnston’s Tire.  I am not, however, registered as a legal politician running in this election.  I am, nonetheless, running in this election.

Also, yesterday, an anonymous (to you, not to me) high-ranking member of one of the Island’s more popular political parties, contacted me and offered up this slogan, which I heartily endorse:

Don’t be a knob.  Vote for Rob.

That correspondence from the high-ranking political figure just proves that the all-important grass-roots interest is starting to burn for me and my party.  Despite that burning, I was not responsible for those fires down east over the last couple of days.  Now, onto today’s promise:

Rob Promises:  Every job a seasonal job.

This will require quite a change of thought regarding how things are done on PEI.  However, if everyone goes along, we’ll all be living the life of Riley.  This is how it works:

Every job on PEI, both private and public, will become “seasonal work”, 4 months long. On September 14, 2007, everyone on the island will be laid off.  Everyone.  Then, on September 15, all the jobs on PEI go into a lottery.  Every working-eligible citizen of PEI will be given a lottery number, and in sequence will get to
draw their next job from the hat, until either all jobs are picked, or all work-eligible people receive jobs (everyone else will either go on EI or welfare.  Only we now will call it “Vacation”).
These people will be in their new jobs for 4 months, until January 14th, at which point they are all laid off.  Then a new random allotment of lottery numbers will be issued and in sequence new jobs will be received. However, this time, people can hand-pick their next job.  They must, however, pick from an assortment of jobs with incomes that are in inverse to their last job, based on the provincial average of income.

What’s that mean?  Well, if your first job paid, say, 20,000 a year, and the average income on PEI is, say, 30,000, then you could pick your next job from the bunch that are approximate to 40,000 per year.  And vice versa.

Based on the random lottery, you get to pick the job you want, based on the income limitation.  First come first served, however those who were previously on EI or welfare have first dibs. This new set of jobs will last 4 months, until May 14th, when there’s the third round of job switching.

Following this program, everyone on PEI who is work-eligible will work two different jobs a year, 4 months duration each.  Then they will have 4 months vacation as well.  Every 3 years, your guaranteed to have the 4 months of summer as a vacation.  Everybody ends up making the same amount of money per year.  Everyone is happy.
As for those protesters who say “what if someone isn’t qualified for their new position?”  C’mon, seriously, how hard are most jobs?  Most jobs, monkeys could handle them.  I’ve got a monkey as my idea guy.  He came up with this idea.

So, that’s another promise:  every job a seasonal job.

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