Category Archives: Uncategorized

DaveS and I sometimes ask each other to come up with what we think would be a terrible group of people to have to be at a dinner party with.  Kind of a self-flagellation sort of exercise.

Watching the Oscars last night, I came up with a howlingly horrific Hollywood version of a downer way to spend an evening.  Dinner for four:  Me, Marly Matlin, Celine Dion, and Jada Pinkett-Smith.

Who would be the three Hollywood celebrities you’d least like to spend an evening with at a dinner party?

I strive to ignore those big irrelevant “news” stories about celebrities.  The ones like Anna Nicole’s Death, and Bald Britney’s Binge.  I get angry at how so many people get involved in them, simply because they are being covered.  I wish more people would take a personal initiative to ignore the celebrity news we are spoon fed.

Here’s a YouTube link to a Craig Ferguson (he of the Late, Late Show on CBS) monologue where he promises to  take a higher road in his comedy rather than picking on/making fun of people who are in vulnerable situations.  It’s a nice sentiment, and I wish him well with that goal.  Good luck!  His reference to Britney is only tangential and most of the monologue is when he was still a drinker, and how he sees similarities between those days for him and the current situation for her.

Craig Ferguson’s Britney Monologue

I’m waiting for the bus to take me home from work.  I have headphones on, listening to music.  Some guy, 40-ish,wearing sweat pants, crosses the street and approaches me rather briskly.  He’s saying something to me but I can’t make it out because of the music.  I turn the music off and I hear “…Sketch 22 last year!  My god it was funny! We laughed.  My wife nearly shit her pants!!”
And with that utterance he was off down the street.
I’ve heard of pissing oneself with laughter (and I know that I’ve made at least one person literally pee her pants from laughing so much), but it’s far less common to shit oneself when laughing.  Honestly, it’s a comedic achievement I don’t want on my resume.

So, I’ve been thinking of trying to start this video project.  Very simple, with no reward other than doing it.  Basically, the idea is to get random people (friends, mostly) at random times and at random places to perform a very short, very specific one person, one-take, one shot (partial) scene on my digital camera, and then compile them all.

Here’s the scene:

This is the backstory to the scene:
You play a tough guy or gal.  You’re like muscle for the mob, or something.  A collector. You’re talking to someone who owes money.  This person is someone you know from your past.  Someone you know of outside of your life as a collector, though you aren’t close.  Maybe someone from “the neighbourhood”.  The relationship is up to you.  The important thing is that you are familiar enough with this person that a meeting with them isn’t only about business.  They know what you do, but maybe they don’t know the extremes to which you’ll go to get your point across.

The shot in question takes place after there’s been a bit of “getting caught up” small talk.  Small talking done, you move on to the matter of the money you owe.  The person sort of non-committedly says that you’ll get the money.  They promise.

Now the specific shot and dialogue that I’d shoot each time:

You have three lines of dialogue: 

Don’t make me come down there.  No, relax, I’m just joking.  Seriously, though, don’t make me come down there.

You can say the lines any way you want.  Your objective, though, is to convey that you are serious that if you don’t get the money, the person will get hurt.  The way I hear the lines is this:  first line is said kind of as a faux (but real) threat.  Second line is to lighten the mood of the person who is maybe afraid by your first line.  The third line is said in a way to make it clear that you are not just joking.  But you might find a more interesting way to deliver them.

I doubt I’ll ever get around to getting anyone to give it a go.  If you see me around town, and I happen to have my little camera with me, be brave and ask me to shoot you saying these lines.

Hey, I think I just made up a new word:

Commentuncating, or commentucation

That’s where your relationship with someone is based pretty much solely on communication through the comments you leave each other on your blogs, internet sites, forums, etc.

Commentucating

Technorati Tags: commentucating

Last night’s 30 Rock was great.  Alec Baldwin is wonderful.  The whole cast is fun.  My biggest laugh came when Rachel Dratch, this episode a trampy prostitute, screamed “Happy Valentimes!!”  I appreciated that the line wasn’t commented upon by any of the characters.  It was just allowed to live on its own merits.

Anyway, I just saw a photo, and then read a story about a couple who recently got married.  I’d recommend you read the story first.  Then look at the photo.  Because if you do it vice versa, like I did, you’ll likely feel sad, until after you read the story.

Here’s the link to the story.

Here’s the link to the photo.  It won first prize at this year’s World Press Photo.

I hope it makes you feel good.  I hope any cynicism you have can be ignored for the duration of your involvement in the story and picture.

Happy Valentimes.  Next week.

Last night’s 30 Rock was great.  Alec Baldwin is wonderful.  The whole cast is fun.  My biggest laugh came when Rachel Dratch, this episode a trampy prostitute, screamed “Happy Valentimes!!”  I appreciated that the line wasn’t commented upon by any of the characters.  It was just allowed to live on its own merits.

Anyway, I just saw a photo, and then read a story about a couple who recently got married.  I’d recommend you read the story first.  Then look at the photo.  Because if you do it vice versa, like I did, you’ll likely feel sad, until after you read the story.

Here’s the link to the story.

Here’s the link to the photo.  It won first prize at this year’s World Press Photo.

I hope it makes you feel good.  I hope any cynicism you have can be ignored for the duration of your involvement in the story and picture.

Happy Valentimes.  Next week.

I’ve had my music player on my computer and iPod synced up with Last.FM for a while.  Here, then are the top 50 artists who’ve been played.  Even though I have my players set up to play random tracks, I think this is a pretty good representation of what I’d consider my favourite music.  A couple of anomalies are the Theme Songs showing up at Number 8, and Emmanuel College Chapel Choir showing up at all (don’t understand that one??).  Elvis Presley is surprisingly high, too.  And, really, Emmylou Harris probably shouldn’t be on that list (I’d replace her with Iris Dement).

Top Artists

…One giant leak for Womankind.

I don’t follow stories like this one about the astronaut woman who drove from someplace to someplace to allegedly kill someone, mostly because news channels like CNN glom onto them and make them much, much bigger than they deserve to be.  Kind of like a Slow News Week “being called up to the big leagues” sort of deal.

But even I’ll admit that 1) female astronaut, 2) driving a long distance while wearing a diaper, 3) attempted murder charges, 4) love and intrigue, and 5) look-like-a-nutjob photo makes it hard for ratings-craving news agencies to ignore this one.  Still, though, a brief skim of the headline and first couple of paragraphs of an internet story about it will be enough for me.

Hey, anyone in the GCA (Greater Charlottetown Area) have any positive experiences with auto body shops?  This morning, a non-observant driver did us the favour of making us require the services of a fair and honest auto body shop by becoming rather too familiar with the back end of our vehicle.

Where has my loyal reader gone and was rewarded with honest and fair auto body service?

Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller? 
(and the award for pulling out an age-old reference goes to… Rob MacDonald!… “I’d just like to say, I’m surprised and shocked that I won this award.  I mean, the competition was pretty crazy this year.  There’s that guy who was blogging about his dog, and wrote “Who let the dogs out?”.  And of course, that lesbian-written blog post entitled “Where’s the beef?!”.  Worthy competitors, all.  [orchestral music starts to surge]  Anyways, I just want to thank everyone who voted for the Bueller reference, and also thank God and the marvelous Mr. Ruddy, my grade nine Industrial Arts teacher.  He’s gay… wait, that’s common knowledge, right?  That he’s gay.  I mean, I’m not telling secrets out of school, am I?  Revealing that Mr. Ruddy is gay, right here in this award speech for age-old references?  Anyway, looks like my time is up.  I’m just so happy that you love me!  That you really, really love me!”)

Yeah, so about those honest and fair auto body shops?  Anyone got one?  Anyone?  Anyone?