Author Archives: Rob MacD

Here’s a new video for a new song from my friend Moe Gorman.

Country night is always an “ugh” for me.  I like country music, but only the more-acoustic heartfealt singer-songwriter kind of country music.  The crap they play on the radio does very little for me.  Unfortunately, those are the kinds of songs these AI performers tend to choose.

Last night’s performances almost entirely were ‘ugh’.  Tough night to watch.  Here’s how it went down.

Micheal Sarver went first and sang some kind of upbeat rockin’ country song, the kind of country song I don’t enjoy.  Kind of like Elvis Costello’s “Pump It Up” without any of the passion.  No, wait, that’d be Billy Joel’s “I Didn’t Start The Fire”.  Last night’s song was like an inferior countrified version of Billy Joel’s song.  How did he do?  Well, when one of the positive comments from the judges is “wow, you remembered a lot of words”, it doesn’t bode well.  I thought it was a stumbly, kind of lazy performance, even though it was “high energy”.  In general, he performed without confidence, and it showed.

Allison Iraheta sang some song and, like last week, made it sound like Heart.  I don’t like Heart. I don’t heart Heart. She sang well enough, but her personality is starting to bug me more every time I see her.  Last week, Kara told someone they could sing the phone book.  This week she told Allison she could sing the alphabet.  Next week, mark my words, she’ll tell someone they can sing a song.  Whatever.

Kris Allen sang some kind of ballad.  He got rid of the guitar, which is a good thing, and just sat on a stool and belted it out.  A pretty good performance of an unremarkable song.

Lil Rounds sang a song I was aware of, Independence Day.  I don’t like the song.  I didn’t really care for Lil’s rendition of it.  I don’t care.  What I do care about is Simon refusing to believe that Lil’s name could be short for Lilly, instead of short for Little, which is what he ignorantly calls her again and again.  Also, Lil, shut up and take your You Didn’t Do As Well As You Should Have medicine from the judges. 

Adam Lambert sang Ring Of Fire.  I HATED it.  My wife said she hoped one of the judges would call it out for being self-indulgent and sure enough, our boy Simon said it was “absolute indulgent rubbish”.  Perfect!  Yay Simon!!  Really, I don’t like what Adam is all about.  Yes, he has a crazy-flexible voice, but he’s such a product.  UGH.

Scott MacIntyre sang some song at the piano.  I was in the kitchen making toast and peanut butter, but what I heard sounded boring and dull.  I think Scott’s problem is he’s too in-his-head with his songs and has to find a way to get what’s in-his-heart out.  I can’t believe I just wrote that sentence.  I think Scott’s blindness is wearing out it’s charm.  He needs to kick it up a few notches next week.  Funny, two weeks ago, Paula and the rest of the judges said they couldn’t wait to hear Scott sing when he got to accompany himself on the piano.  That’s when his true talent would take off. This week, Paula says Scott’s using the piano as a crutch.  Paula is stoopid.

Alexis Grace sang Dolly Parton’s Jolene.  It was okay.  She seemed to get bored of it half way through.  I hate the way the judges pidgeon-hole Alexis as the dirty girl.  As much as she’s good at those down and dirty kinds of songs, it made me sad to hear her plead that if she’s still around next week, she’ll make sure to be really dirty. 

Danny Gokey sang “Jesus Take the Wheel”.  What a stupid song.  I hate treacly inspiration songs like this.  First of all, I hate the premise.  Jesus shouldn’t take the wheel.  If anything, Jesus should give you the strength to be able to take the wheel yourself.  Danny’s performance was okay.  Started out weak and got better when the song itself got more charged.  But what a rotten song.  ugh.

Anoop Desai sang “Always On My Mind”.  According to the judges, he blew it out of the ballpark.  While it was definitely his best performance so far, and maybe the best so far of the night, it wasn’t as good as they insisted it was.  They do that a lot, these judges (except Simon, who shows great restraint usually).  Good job, Anoop.  Saved yourself.  Jesus Take The Vocal Chords.  Just don’t forget to have fun up there on that stage, buddy, okay?

Megan Joy sang “Walkin’ After Midnight”.  When they showed the clip of her practicing it in front of guest star Randy Travis, this song sounded great.  I was expecting it to be a super-quirky version.  The reality of it is, though, that it was another Nervous Megan performance.  Not nearly as good as the Travis clip showed it could be.  But still much better than recent performances.  She’s got an unusual aura about her, this Megan.  I like her, but fear her quirkiness will be her downfall.  Dammit, the very thing that makes her great will be the thing that destroys her!

Matt Giraud sang some ballady type song at the piano.  My appreciation of Matt’s talents have grown immeasurably over the past two weeks.  I thought he was the best of the bunch this week.  He’s a rising star, Ed McMahon!

Best of the night:  Matt followed by Anoop.

In danger: Michael sang first and wasn’t very good.  Never good. He’s in danger.  Scott should be too, but his blindness may get him another week yet.  Megan, while doing a good job, will always be in danger, I fear.  But the judges reminding us, over and over and over that she is sick this week should get her enough pity votes to keep her around.

Kind of absurd, short, funny stories and observations. by Simon Rich, who is, the book jacket tells us, a writer for Saturday Night Live. But don't hold that against him.

My friend Moe Gorman was on Ocean 100 last Monday, singing a new song.  Here’s a video that Moe made for the song.

An American Idol post.

So, Jasmine (is that her name?) and Jorge are booted.  No big loss.  He was my least favourite male performer and she was pretty to look at, but not ready for the competition.

The big revelation of the night was the new rule:  This season, the judges will have one, and only one, chance to nullify the vote of the Idiotic Masses of America.  If, some night this season, the fans vote out someone the judges unanimously (ie., if Simon thinks so) think shouldn’t be voted out, that person gets a stay of execution and nobody is voted out that week.  The next week, two people will be voted out (the two lowest vote-getters of that week).

I guess that’s an okay rule.  But what it does, everyone discovered last night, is that it causes the person getting the vote to be humiliated twice.

Humilation #1:
Ryan:  And the person going home is… Lowest Votegetter!  So sorry.

then, humiliation #2:
Ryan: Well, judges, are you going to use your veto power and keep Lowest Votegetter in the competition for at least one more week?

Judges: No.  You’re not worth saving.

Stab, and then STAB.  That’s harsh.

Let’s see how far I get in reviewing the show this season.  Such a long season.  And last night was such a long show, despite a pile of pretty competent singers.  Here goes:

Quote of the night:
Simon (to the blind guy): It’s okay to be artistic.  Just not on this show.

That is perfect.

It was Michael Jackson night.  I never knew there were so many MJ songs I didn’t know.  Most of the contestants played it smart and didn’t try to tackle any of the Super-Size MJ hits.

Lil Rounds, “The Way You Make Me Feel”: Lil has a great voice, super stage presence, a big booty and bouncy chest skins and seems totally in control of what she’s presenting.  She’s the entire package, as they say.  Her performance was competent but not spectacular.

Scott, the Blind Guy, “Keep the Faith”: Seated at the piano is his comfort zone.  Too bad his vocals weren’t the best.  Not terrible, just not all that great.  But he’s blind, and inspiring (so Kara keeps reminding us), so no worries.  And I’ll keep calling him the blind guy until they stop making his blindness his main identifier.

Danny Downey Jr., “PYT”: When I see him, I see Robert Downey Jr., and that works in Danny’s favour. Like the rest of the world, I really like Danny.  Simon nailed it when he said it was a fantastic vocal, but the physicality of Danny was all over the place.  But it didn’t matter, because the guy oozes passion and honesty.  I feel sad for the day (it may be coming sooner than I like) when I’ve had enough of his personality.

Michael “the Labourer” Sarver, “You Are Not Alone”: He works on an oil rig, you know. He, too, showed a lot of passion, and a surprisingly strong vocal.  But he seemed to be trying to hard to express that passion.  I fear he’s too forgettable a lovable bear.  Nice guy, good voice, but not remarkable enough to make it all the way.

Jasmine Murray, “I’ll Be There”:  I’m having a Dickens of a time trying to remember who this person is, and how she performed.  Just to be clear, that’s not a good sign.

Kris “CutiePie” Allen, “Remember the Time”: I didn’t like this very much.  The guitar playing seemed to get in the way of the singing.  Like Simon said, it’s a song that isn’t built for guitar accompaniment.  Apparently the young girls (and by that I mean Paula) find him cute, though, so he’ll likely be around for a while.

Allison “forever pegged to be this year’s Rocker Chick” Iraheta, “Give Into Me”: She’s a great singer, but I fear her ADD mouth is going to get her into trouble before the season is out.  Just Learn To Shut It, Allison.  Don’t speak, just sing.

Anoop “Slumdog Idol” Desai, “Beat It”: I’m rooting for Anoop.  He seems like a fun, hiddenly-hip kind of preppy kid.  But bad, bad song choice.  He’s the only one on the night to take on one of Michael’s untouchable songs.  In fact, this might be the only untouchable MJ song.  I was going to say Billie Jean, but I think you could at least take Billie Jean in a different way (making it a slower, acoustic type of deal), but Beat It is hard to alter.  The vocal isn’t one to showcase a voice, as it’s almost a talk-sing kind of six or seven note range.  Anoop didn’t do himself any favours.  I hope his personality keeps him around beyond this week.  I’m fearful though.

Jorge “I Don’t Need No Steenking Judges” Nunez, “Never Can Say Goodbye”: My least favourite performance of the night.  Boring and old.

Megan Joy, “Rockin’ Robin”:  I was dumb-founded by this song choice.  It’s such a generic old-time rock song.  Still, there were moments where Megan was able to bring more to it and made it (for moments at least) almost unique and interesting.  While she’s certainly nice to look at, I found it hard to watch Megan perform this because she seemed somehow at odds with it.  At times she looked like she was lost, other times like she knew it was a big mistake to pick this song.  And her physicality was pretty iffy, like a baby pony just learning to walk, at times.  She’s got a very interesting sound and look to her, though, and I hope she makes it through.  Such an odd song choice, though, so I don’t know.

Adam Lambert, “Black or White”: Here’s what I don’t like about Adam Lambert:  His look seems too carefully crafted.  He’s a cross between Axl Rose, Robert Smith of The Cure, and a Jonas Brother.  Ugh.  No doubt about it, the boy can sing (although I don’t like the way it sounds like he’s screeching at times, a la Axl), and yes, he owns the stage.  But, I don’t know, he’s just too… bred to be an idol.

Matt “How I Met Your Idol” Giraud, “Human Nature”: He reminds me of Jason Segal from HIMYM.  I was really pleasantly surprised by his performance.  I thought it was pretty good. Enough for me to switch from “who is this guy?” to “hope I see more of this guy”.

Alexis “Is This Show Still On?” Grace, “Dirty Diana”: It seemed like everyone, Alexis included, just wanted the show to be over.  She did a pretty good job on this, but had the misfortune of going last and getting the judges “we were told we need to be brief” comments.  Plus she had the misfortune of being forced to go with the non-sequential telephone/text number.  Hope those things don’t screw her in the voting, because I like seeing and hearing her.

My favourite of the night was Danny Downey Jr.
Least favourite was Jorge.

I expect that the show-altering twist will be that the bottom-three will be announced, and then the judges decide which one goes home.  Or, in the case of tonight, which two go home.

Really, it could be anyone going home, other than Lil, Danny and Adam.  Because, like Simon said, it’s not so much about the artistry, this show.  It’s more about popularity.  And who knows who The Idiotic Masses of America are sweet on with this group.

There’s a collection of 3 foamy snowmen displayed in the Confederation Court Mall in Charlottetown.
It was pointed out to me yesterday that one of them looks eerily like Darlene, the Coat Hanger Lady. 
Today I took my camera to work to snap a picture at lunch. 
Here it is.

and from a bit farther away:

Just as our lunch ended today, DaveS and I were contemplating what items would be on a kindergartner’s Bucket List.  You know, that shitty movie the list a person makes of things they’d like to do before they kick the bucket.

So, if you went to a kindergarten and asked the kids there to each name, say, five things they’d want to do before they die, what do you think would show up on the lists?

I find it hilarious to think of a bunch of five-year old kids having to contemplate the concept of death.

My kindergartner’s Bucket List:

1) have a turtle as a pet
2) MORE ICE CREAM!!!
3) marry my kindergarten teacher
4) watch Tippy and Binoo all day along
5) catch and eat a tiger

What items do you think a kindergartner’s bucket list would have?

I watched a couple of movies over the weekend.

First up was Wanted.

You know, that movie about the bullets that can bend around a slab of pork about people who can shoot bullets so they bend around a slab of pork.  It was awful.  Just preposterous as all get out.  Now, I can suspend my disbelief with the best of them, but <spoiler> that scene where the train falls down the chasm was ridiculous.  Almost as foolish as the bullet Angelina Jolie uses to kill about 6 people.  She shoots it in a long, wide circle around a room.  It goes through 5 or 6 people’s heads before winding up in her own brain.  That is some magic bullet.

The plot was idiotic, too.  Am I wrong, but could the whole thing have been resolved with a phone call?
<spoiler>
– Hello?
– Hi, I’m the assasin who you’re trying to kill.  They told you I killed your father, but get this, Luke:  I am your father.
– Seriously?
– Seriously.  So, don’t try and kill me okay.  I think Hoke has been driving you towards a false conclusion.  See, he’s the bad guy.
– Really, Morgan Freeman is the bad guy?  But he always plays good guys. Wow, what a surprise!  He and his posse went through all the trouble of training me in 6 weeks to be the best assasin ever, explicitly so that I would kill you, because they knew you would never kill your own son who you abandoned when I was just 7 days old.  I get it!  Hey, thanks for the heads up… Dad.
– No probs.

Shitty movie.

The other crappy movie I watched was Zack & Miri Make A Porno. 

I had some hope for this movie, but it ended up being shit as well.  There were a couple of funny scenes, but for the most part it got really boring really quickly.  It was like a script that Judd Apatow would poop out of his bum.  But it was Kevin Smith, right?  The performances were all pretty good, but god that dialogue was painful to listen to.  Isn’t that kind of the opposite of typical Kevin Smith movies?
Am I wrong or could the whole thing have been resolved by a phone call?
<spoiler>
– Hello?
– Hey Rob, don’t watch this movie. You won’t like it.
– Who is this please?
– Doesn’t matter.
– Okay.  Hey, thanks for the heads up… Dad.
– No probs.

Tuesday night, parents with children at urban schools threatened with closure had their turn to speak as PEI’s Eastern School District continued consultations on a plan to close 11 schools.
Next week, it will be the deceased parents of long-dead students who will get a chance to speak their minds regarding the debate over closing smaller schools across the island.
“I’m going to go right up to the magic voice-amplification stick,” says Sarah McGuigan, dead, who went to the Heatherdale school from 1888-1892, “and I’m going to tell them how important it is to keep Heatherdale school open. What do you expect us to do, go to the big two-room school-house in Kinross?”
When told that Heatherdale school has been closed for decades, McGuigan replied, “I’m sorry, I don’t hear so good.  My ears are dead too.  Could you repeat that?”