The Annekenstein Monster

Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Monaghan, Vera Farmiga & Jeffrey Wright

My review: Well-performed sci-fi. Wright's character misses. Pretty eyes.

Have we got a show for you!!  This is a TV show.  A series.  It’s called Ghost Car.  I know, awesome, eh?!?  

Ghost Car.  

I can’t believe it hasn’t been used yet.  Dave S and I came up with it on one of our semi-regular luncheons.  Yes, from the people that brought you Uncle Penelope Jones and Starr Gaudet bring you Ghost Car!!

Here’s the premise – still a work-in-progress, so lots of room for additions, suggestions, etc. (the premise from my POV as I remember it.  Dave S might have another vision): A 70’s or 80’s style TV procedural – think “Rockford Files meets Streets of San Fransisco meets Miami Vice – and every city in between!”.  Two guys help solve the Crime/Story of the Week.  Private detectives, beloved AND behated by various members of the police department.  One is a Man’s Man – (maybe a former cop?) older, been around the block a few times, stuck in his ways, brusk, bristly, hardened exterior, softy inside (when he lets it slip).  The other is the young hotshot.  Sarcastic, headstrong, full of himself, sophmoric.  These two guys butt heads as often as not, but it’s obvious they have a respect and fondness for each other.

Thing is:  They Are DEAD!  Yep.  Ghosts.  Both died in a tragic automobile accident while they were about to solve The Big Crime Back In The Day.  (Backstory, told in flashback in pilot and/or opening credits)  

Only thing is, when they died, they had unfinished business to take care of, so now they are forced to remain on Earth as ghosts – Spectral Dicks, if you will, until the unfinished business gets resolved.  Unfinished business deals with the local crime syndicate – the same people that caused them to die – and can be spread out over the course of the series, as an ongoing storyline, along with the weekly one-off stories.  (Spectral Dicks can be the name of the show if it gets picked up by a cable company like FX or something)

Each episode, they tool around the city in their ghost car (literally, a ghost car), a sweet American muscle-machine ride, and discover untoward events happening in nefarious locales.  They forward this information, through ghostly means, to an up-and-coming police officer. (Maybe her aunt is a crazy psychic?)  Did we mention, the police officer is a SHE, and she is sexy-tough-sweet.  She’s the only one who can see them, I don’t know…??? We can figure that stuff out later, Hollywood.  Anyway, each episode, SHE solves the case with the help/interference of Ghost Car.  Yes, interference as much as help.  See, it’s not easy to navigate this plane when you’re ghosts, so their attempts to help can get pretty “out there” and oftentimes as not, backfire on them.

What’s important is this:  We have a seriously awesome name for a TV show.  We’ve got a hot young female lead.  We’ve got a hot young actor in another lead.  We’ve got a respected older actor in a third lead role.  And we’ve got the hilarious young ethnic comic in a secondary role (forgot to mention this, because it just came to me, but SHE is not the only one who sees the Spectral Dicks – they’re also seen by the homeless guy who says funny stuff and nobody ever believes him when he says he sees the ghost cops.  He, therefore, refers to them as The Snuffleupafuzz).  We’ve got some seriously cool wheels for them to drive around in and perform wicked stunts.

You can set it in the 70’s if you want, 80’s, today, I don’t care.

Ghost Car – it’s a Guaranteed Hit!!

Can you find any awesome things in this photo:

Here are my three awesome things found in this photo:

1. The dude is defying gravity.  Gravity defiance is special enough, but for a dude this size… <applause>

2. Dude is channeling the ghost of Rodney Dangerfield.  Seriously, look at his face.  Plus the “no respect” tie.

3. Quick access to his junk, terrific for drive-by urinalizing.  Did that rip just happen during this event, or has it been there for some time?  Question needs answering.

4. (bonus) The stellar powerpoint, or whatever it is, on the projection on the wall.  Any ideas on what it’s about?

If you can’t add any more awesome things about this photo (like the dude’s insane Don Johnson hair), perhaps you could write a short introductory play-let as to how these guys got to this moment that is frozen eternally.

Something like:

Skinny Dude:  Dude, this powerpoint or whatever it is is lame squared.  Let’s up the party!

Heavy Dude (running and jumping): Karate chop kick!!

Skinny Dude:  Dude, you’re defying gravity!

Have we got a show for you!!  This is a TV show.  A series.  It’s called Ghost Car.  I know, awesome, eh?!?  

Ghost Car.  

I can’t believe it hasn’t been used yet.  Dave S and I came up with it on one of our semi-regular luncheons.  Yes, from the people that brought you Uncle Penelope Jones and Starr Gaudet bring you Ghost Car!!

Here’s the premise – still a work-in-progress, so lots of room for additions, suggestions, etc. (the premise from my POV as I remember it.  Dave S might have another vision): A 70’s or 80’s style TV procedural – think “Rockford Files meets Streets of San Fransisco meets Miami Vice – and every city in between!”.  Two guys help solve the Crime/Story of the Week.  Private detectives, beloved AND behated by various members of the police department.  One is a Man’s Man – (maybe a former cop?) older, been around the block a few times, stuck in his ways, brusk, bristly, hardened exterior, softy inside (when he lets it slip).  The other is the young hotshot.  Sarcastic, headstrong, full of himself, sophmoric.  These two guys butt heads as often as not, but it’s obvious they have a respect and fondness for each other.

Thing is:  They Are DEAD!  Yep.  Ghosts.  Both died in a tragic automobile accident while they were about to solve The Big Crime Back In The Day.  (Backstory, told in flashback in pilot and/or opening credits)  

Only thing is, when they died, they had unfinished business to take care of, so now they are forced to remain on Earth as ghosts – Spectral Dicks, if you will, until the unfinished business gets resolved.  Unfinished business deals with the local crime syndicate – the same people that caused them to die – and can be spread out over the course of the series, as an ongoing storyline, along with the weekly one-off stories.  (Spectral Dicks can be the name of the show if it gets picked up by a cable company like FX or something)

Each episode, they tool around the city in their ghost car (literally, a ghost car), a sweet American muscle-machine ride, and discover untoward events happening in nefarious locales.  They forward this information, through ghostly means, to an up-and-coming police officer. (Maybe her aunt is a crazy psychic?)  Did we mention, the police officer is a SHE, and she is sexy-tough-sweet.  She’s the only one who can see them, I don’t know…??? We can figure that stuff out later, Hollywood.  Anyway, each episode, SHE solves the case with the help/interference of Ghost Car.  Yes, interference as much as help.  See, it’s not easy to navigate this plane when you’re ghosts, so their attempts to help can get pretty “out there” and oftentimes as not, backfire on them.

What’s important is this:  We have a seriously awesome name for a TV show.  We’ve got a hot young female lead.  We’ve got a hot young actor in another lead.  We’ve got a respected older actor in a third lead role.  And we’ve got the hilarious young ethnic comic in a secondary role (forgot to mention this, because it just came to me, but SHE is not the only one who sees the Spectral Dicks – they’re also seen by the homeless guy who says funny stuff and nobody ever believes him when he says he sees the ghost cops.  He, therefore, refers to them as The Snuffleupafuzz).  We’ve got some seriously cool wheels for them to drive around in and perform wicked stunts.

You can set it in the 70’s if you want, 80’s, today, I don’t care.

Ghost Car – it’s a Guaranteed Hit!!

Okay, NBC, here’s a free idea for you:  Revamp the NBC Mystery Movie series.  There you go, NBC.  You’re welcome.

For those of you NBC Bigwigs who don’t know, the NBC Mystery Movie ran in the early-mid 1970s, and was a weekly series of recurring/rotating programs, most notably Columbo starring Peter Falk, McCloud starring Dennis Weaver, and McMillan and Wife starring Rock Hudson and Susan St. James.  There were other, lesser, series throughout the run, but these three were the major players.

Obviously, they’d each have to be recast with today’s crop of talent.  No fear, I’m here to assist you with that, too.

Let’s start with Columbo.  In the original, Peter Falk played the wily, seemingly absent-minded LAPD detective who always ended up a couple of steps ahead of the Villain-Of-The-Week.  I have the perfect actor for you, NBC.  He’s currently a hot-commodity movie actor, but you might be able to lure him into TV.  Not only does he bear a resemblance to Falk (which, admittedly has its pluses and minuses), but he’s an actor who seems to have that Falk naturalness and likability.  Like I said, he’s a perfect candidate.  Call his agent right now.   He is Mark Ruffalo:

He is, unquestionably, this century’s perfect Columbo.

So, Columbo is cast.  Let’s move on to McCloud.

McCloud was another detective (actually a Marshall) series.  It was about a New Mexico Marshall who was transplanted (along with his horse, even) to New York City, and starred Dennis Weaver.

Again, I have a terrific casting choice for you.  Although, there may be issues since this actor is already involved in a tv series about a marshal.  The FX show Justified.  I think Timothy Olyphant would be a fantastic McCloud.  

Like Ruffalo, he bears a resemblance to his predecessor.  Slap a moustache and cowboy hat on him and let him go.  Can you think of a better modern-day McCloud?

Now, onto McMillan and Wife.  This was, admittedly, my least favourite of the three NBC Mystery Movie series.  But I think there needs to be a rotation of three different series, so I’m going to include it.

It starred Rock Hudson (as a San Fransisco Police Commissioner) and Susan St.James (as his wife).  Who to cast, you ask?  Honestly, I’m not sure.  Nobody is really coming to mind.  The only name I came up with is Patrick Warburton (Puddy from Seinfeld) which is not the right choice, I freely admit. So, Hollywood, I’ll leave it to you to come up with new casting for McMillan and Wife.

WHO WOULD YOU CAST IN McMILLAN AND WIFE?

Five or six years ago, I wrote and directed this video for Sketch22’s Christmas Show.

It’s one of my favourite videos that we did.

When I was writing it, the *surprise* ending came as a surprise to me.  At first, it was just going to be about an old couple and their grandson, out driving around looking at the Christmas lights during the day because the old guy wasn’t allowed to drive at night anymore.  A funny, sad kind of situation.  But when I was trying to find a way to end it, the ending I came up with hit me all of a sudden, and it seemed so very good.  It takes the funny/sad idea and cranks it beyond a whole other level.

Anyway, now that I had this awesome sadly funny ending, I knew it’d need some music to really amp up the sadness.  I wanted something “oldy” sounding, something rather melancholic. I also wanted something old so as not to have to worry about copyright etc (although, I’m not sure the recordings I ended up with are actually public domain). So I started scouring through the internet, basically searching for something – a title or anything – that grabbed me.  I searched for hours through the Internet Archives without any success.  Literally hours scanning through pages of search results, not even sure what I was looking for. The Internet Archives led me to a few other archives, and a couple more hours of searching led me to a song entitled “When You’re Gone I Won’t Forget You”.  That title sounded exactly like the sentiment I wanted to convey.  When I clicked on the Play button and listened to it, I couldn’t believe how lucky I was.  It seemed too good to be true.  It was exactly the song I wanted/needed.  It was perfect.

It was hissy and crackly, with a definite old-time sound.  Sounded kind of like it was being played a bit too slow, too, which just added to its awesomeness.  I fell in love with the song.

So, we shot it – Dennis and me and Jason performing, and Graham and I edited it.  And the music fit so perfectly.  Ryan Townsend, who was cameraman, came up with the idea of having the camera tilt a bit near the end, as an indication that things maybe were a bit off kilter, and I think that was a super idea, so thanks Ryan for that.

All of which brings me to the reason for this post:  I absolutely love the song at the end of the video.  But I had lost the recording of the song I downloaded, and for the life of me, couldn’t find it again.  Didn’t know the name of the song, didn’t know who wrote it, who recorded it.  Only knew it was recorded sometime around 1920. Over the past few years, I’d try to find it, without luck.  Couldn’t quite retrace my steps, and had all but given up. (I had been searching for both songs in the video.  There’s also a Christmas song playing in the background of the “looking at lights” montage, but that song, while fitting the video wonderfully, didn’t really grab me as much).

Then this Christmas, miracle of miracles!  Cameron asked me if we had that song, and I said no.  But his question inspired me to do another search.  Not sure why it was a different outcome, but after about an hour of searching, I found it.  Well, I found a different version of it. This time when I did a search for “When You’re Gone”, I got different results, which led me to the different version of the song.  But that discovery gave me the names of the composers, and that led me, ultimately, to the version I used in the video.

It’s called “When You’re Gone I Won’t Forget You”  – although I also found it without the “You” at the end.  Lyrics by Ivan Reid and melody by Peter De Rose. Copyright 1920.

The first version I found (which led me to the 2nd “correct” version) was recorded by The Peerless Quartet in 1921.  It’s not as good a version, I don’t think.  At least, not for my purposes.

The 2nd version, the one I used, was from an old cylinder and was released in 1920.  The singers were Louise Terrel and George Wilton Ballard.  Apparently, it was take 2. 

So, anyway, here are the songs, if anyone wants them.  Both of them, if you’re interested for comparison sake.

When You’re Gone I Won’t Forget You (video version)

When You’re Gone (alternate version)

Lights up

A dressing room, such as in any theater anywhere.

Il Castrato sits at the dressing table. He addresses the audience.

Castrato:
Alas, my friends, attend this tale of woe.
For I, gelded on fame's throne lately sat
For tunes warbl'd, am falsetto castrat.
Cel'brated by all, like angel's rejoice
Melodies sung on high in pure of voice.
A pre-pubescent stunt, doctor performed:
My testicles chopp'd when not yet tenor
Left me permanently baritone deaf!
Now, my talents unequall'd, fame unmatch'd
Where 'ere I arrive, E! News is dispatch'd.
Fame, wealth, power. Invites to parties all.

I am a sucker for a good math story.  I don’t particularly like math, and am not particularly good at math, but I enjoy the world of math.
This is a fantastic documentary about a man trying to prove (or disprove) Fermat’s Last Theorum.  Before watching this video, I had no idea who or what Fermat was, or his theorum.
You don’t need to know what these math guys are necessarily talking about.  The documentary does a great job of finding the drama within the story, so that the actual math is rather irrelevant.
Take a watch.  If you make it to the end of the first segment (about 1:30 into the doc), I bet you’ll be hooked and want to keep watching.

http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=8269328330690408516&hl=en&fs=true

Get your car washed at the Tip Top Car Wash!!!

I was never really much of a car washer.  For a while I tried to do the weekend-get-out-and-wash-the-car-in-the-driveway thing, but never liked it.

Over the past number of years, whenever the car would need a cleaning, I’d take it to one of the automatic car washes around town.  Parkdale Irving used to have a good wash.  Lately it’s been the car wash bays on North River Road.  These, of course, were strictly exterior car washings.  Yes, I could, I suppose, use the vaccuums, but that seemed like too much work.  Just like washing the car myself.

But now.  Now I’ve found my new car wash place.  Tip Top Car Wash on MacAleer Drive (off Brackley Point Road, just before the airport).  It’s run by a couple who moved here a couple of years ago, from Montreal.  They came here to retire, and then found themselves opening this car wash about five weeks ago.

You drive your car into the bay, and a crew of five workers get to it.  They clean the interior (not sure if it’s more than just a wipe to remove the dust) and vaccuum the interior, vaccuum the trunk if you want (I didn’t get my trunk vaccuumed today as there was too much junk in it).  Then they wash the exterior.  Then they beat the exterior with chamois cloths until it’s nice a spotless dry.

All the while, I chatted with the wife, who sits behind the desk.  A very nice lady.  Her husband, meanwhile, oversees the guys who clean the car.  He seems like he’s very diligent about making sure they don’t slag off.  He appears to be the kind of person who expects good results from good work.

About 15 minutes later, I had a very clean car, inside and out.  The cost for a car is $15 plus tax, so just over 17 dollars.  I gave them a 20 dollar bill and said keep the change.  I’d gladly have tipped more if I had it in my pocket.

It’s a great place.  If you want a good cleaning of your car, you could do worse than visit the Tip Top Car Wash on MacAleer Drive.

Oh, and every visit you can fill out a ballot for a weekly $25 gas card.