Mildred

My wife’s grandmother, Mildred, died yesterday.

She lived to a great old age, and apart from the last year or so, when she really began to decline in health and spirit, she seemed to live a good, happy life.  The last time I saw her, I don’t believe she knew who I was.  It is, as they say, for the best that she passed.
Mildred was always quick to laugh around me and I enjoyed being in her company.  She seemed to have a mischieviousness about her which I appreciated.  After her husband died, she remained for many years, alone in the house they shared, and I was often amazed at her ability to keep her house and yard in shape.
She and I shared some good games of cribbage. I believe she beat me more than I beat her.  She had a thing for owls.
She was a good, strong person and I have not a single negative memory of her.
She was a great grandmother-in-law.

What’s In A Name

Another free Movie Idea for you.  All you have to do is write it:

Two versions on the same theme:

1) Will Farrell plays a kind of happy, contented everyman. Or, is he?  Married, kids, good job, yet he somehow is missing something?  He comes in contatct with some guy who, in some public situation, off-handedly makes fun of his name.  The new nickname catches on, and through a series of misadventures, causes Will to lose everything.  The rest of the movie revolves around him finding out what is really important.

2)  Joan Cusack is a woman who is stuck with a terrible name.  Really ridiculous.  It’s caused her to be a social misfit and consumes her to the point where she will only date men whose last name will make her name more bearable.  We see a series of these awful dates and see her fall to more and more desperate situations.  Of course, she has a male friend who is obviously in love with her, and she him, but, alas, his last name makes her name even worse, so she ignores her feelings for him.  In the end, though, she finds out what is really important:  love.

There you go, Hollywood.  Write ’em up!

My, He Had Well-Groomed Stool

I have been watching more and more documentaries and "educational" programs on television lately.  One was "Battlefield Britain" which I quite liked.  Each episode examined a different, specific battle that took place throughout history on Great Britain.  It was hosted by a father and son team.  The father examined the battle itself, strategies and weapons used, mistakes or innovations, etc, all pertaining to the military aspects of the battle.  The son examined the more humanistic aspects of the era in question.  How the battle affected the people who lived in the area, imagined the mental states of common soldiers from both sides of the fight, etc.
It was quite enjoyable.
Anyway, while watching that on The History Channel, I saw ads for an upcoming series called "Worst Jobs In History".  It looked like it’d be about this guy who attempts to tackle some of the worst jobs in history, actually trying to perform the jobs as they would have been done at the time.
Last night I saw an episode that examined a few jobs from the Tudor period of England.  They guy examined and/or  tried a few different jobs, including a Spit Boy (the man who turns the spit near the huge fireplace in the castle kitchen).  The one that followed that was a job entitled "Groom of the Stool".  Apparently, the Groom of the Stool, in the King’s castle, was, in terms of importance and status, second only to the king himself.  His job?  To wipe the ass of the king.
Ugh.

Mow Is Me

All day at work today, it’s been in the back of my mind – the grass at home needs to be cut.  Tonight.  It should have been cut last night, but I had a Sketch22 rehearsal.  A long busy day does not end with work today at 5pm.  Nope, the toil moves from the mental to the physical this evening.

Yes, my son (purely from the economic advantages it affords him) has taken on more and more of the task, but it’s still my least favourite part of home-ownership.

Today, I implore you all, instead of your usual prayers for the orphans, the impoverished, the sick and infrim, pray for me.  Pray for me and my suburban woes.

Everyday I Jump The Shark

I was reading somewhere else on the internets a discussion as to when Elvis Costello jumped the shark.  And it made me ponder that exact same question.  When exactly did he jump the shark for me?

Back in the early 1980’s I was a pretty huge Costello fan.  His first, from 1977, My Aim Is True is one of those almost perfect albums.  Smart sharp vitriolic angry songs, he was kind of the thinking man’s punk.  The next few albums of his never could, and never did, match the quality of his first, though they all had some great songs.  And that was enough to keep him tops of my pops.
I was originally going to say that Punch The Clock was his Shark Jumping album.  Yeah, it had some nice songs, Everyday I Write The Book, Shipbuilding most notably, but it missed on a few cylinders, and it sounded too…soft.  Strings and horns and orchestrations?  From the thinking man’s punk?  Was he done for? 
But how could I say he’d jumped the shark when he still had the albums Blood & Chocolate, King of America, and even Spike (an album I liked but many others didn’t as much)… all really good albums with a lot of great songs?  Surely we had to accomodate him experimenting with the pop songs and sound of Punch The Clock.  I had to give him that allowance.  No, I decided, Punch the Clock did not jump the shark.
Nor do I think he jumped the shark with Mighty Like a Rose.  Yes, it’s a difficult album to like, and the one that forever changed me from a buy-every-Elvis-Costello-Album guy to one who would wait and hear the reviews first.  But still, it was Elvis being Elvis.  Not very good Elvis, but still Elvis.
With the follow-up to that one, though,  The Juliet Letters with the Brodsky Quartet, Elvis was pretty much done for in my mind. An egotistical stunt if ever there was one.
That was his Jump The Shark Album.  Without question.

Harrison Ford’s Own Peter Pan

George Lucas signed off on this.  For that, he can never be forgiven.

The Star Wars Holiday Special (quicktime video)

Featuring:  Chewbacca and his family; a cooking demonstration; Bea Arthur singing; Carrie Fisher singing; and other unspeakables.  I have my Peter Pan ignominy, Harrison Ford has this.

Tar Zan Rub Ber Band

The folks over at Screenhead called this video "possibly the greatest thing we’ve ever seen."  That statement, of course, is one which begs to be brought down.
However, watching it, I may just have to agree.  It is possibly the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.

Same Or Different Song?

I was walking up town at lunch today, listening to music in my own little world. I passed another person who was likewise listening to music.  I wondered what were the chances that we’d be listening to the same song.
Then I thought of this:  If I had to walk the earth, listening to music, and I had to stop each person I met who was also listening to music, and ask them what they were listening to… If I had to do that until I found somebody who was listening to the same song at the same time I was…(follow that so far?)  would I have a greater chance of success if I continually listened to the same song, over and over, until I found somebody who was also listening to that same song… or would it be better for me to randomly listen to songs, hoping to meet somebody who also randomly was listening to the same song at the same time?

I need to know.

The Okie Music Hall Of Fame

Last night, Vonzell got the boot.  Finally.
Even though there are two remaining American Idol contestants, there really is only one viable choice.
Watching the "Idol goes back to their hometown" video segments and Carrie went back, got the key to the city, and also received induction into the Oklahoma  (I just spelled it Oklahomo, then changed it – I wonder how many soft Okie boys have been called an Oklahomo?) Music Hall of Fame.
I immediately thought to myself "if I was a member of the Oklahoma Music Hall of Fame, I’d be pretty sad to suddenly have my status decline in such a dramatic way by the inclusion of such a robotic ‘of the moment’ barely-talent like Carrie Underwood.  Kind of like when Lassie got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.  It instantly devalued all significance such a gesture meant to worthwhile people who received it before and after.

Bo will win.  Bo must win.  And I don’t really like his music.  It’s just that Carrie is such a blip of talent, it’d be sad if she won.  Her lack of talent (yes, she can sing, but she can’t – you know – sing.  No soul) doesn’t deserve it.

The Answer My Friends Is Belinda Wins

Okay, so it’s supposed to be Blowin’ in the Wind.  I expect I’d have needed to explain that title…unless you say it fast out loud, and in just the right way.

So, Belinda Stronach walks across. Not quite the same impact as hearing that Gretzky went to the Kings from Edmonton, but I admit, I’m glad of this if it means no spring or summer election, as it most likely will.  I like Belinda.  Really the main thing I had against her was that she was on the Conservative side.  As for who I’d prefer:  Martin or Harper as leader?  What’s that saying:  It’s better to side with the devil you know than with Stephen Harper.

Hey, lookit me!  I’m talking politics.  I’m a big boy now!  Note, though, that I put this in the category "Games".