Author Archives: Rob MacD

10 Right-On, Random Songs

Time for a semi-irregular random sampling of the musical tastes of your host.
Here, then, are the next ten (good or bad, cool or embarassing) songs (and a comment on each) that go through my iTunes, set to shuffle:

1. Girl Wants (to say goodbye to) Rock and Roll Music – Go Home Productions:  One of about 100 mashups I have in my collection.  This combines the music of the Velvet Underground’s "Rock and Roll Music" with the vocals from Christina Aguilera’s "What A Girl Wants".  I have mixed feelings (no pun) on mashups, some work, some don’t, some are just meh.  This one takes a great song and an okay song and makes the okay song a different great song.  Seriously, it’s like Lou Reed’s guitar riffs were made for this song, three decades earlier.  I rate it 4 stars out of 5.
2. Fruits of My Labors – Lucinda Williams:  Homer Simpson talks of dogs with bees in their mouths.  Lucinda has some sweet aged honey in her throat on this song.  Slow and soft and sad and sexy.  As soon as you hear this song, you go "yeah, this was born to be a classic." Another rating of 4 out of 5.
3. Take These Chains From My Heart – Hank Williams: I love how Hank sings "care" like "kee-air"  You no longer kee-air for me.  This gets 5 stars.  Try and talk me out of it.  You kee-an’t.  Hank Williams has the voice of a grand-father, the soul of a prisoner.  Beautiful song.
4.  (What’s So Funny) ‘Bout Peace, Love and Understanding – Yo La Tengo:  I’m more familiar with the Elvis Costello version of the Nick Lowe song.  This Yo La Tengo version is a bit rough.  This is from a live recording.  Good energy in the music, but the lyrics just fall a bit flat, especially early, but come around by the end.  I waffled between 2 or 3 stars.  I went with 3.  Giving it 2 would have hurt its feelings.
5. Flower Duet (from the opera Lakme):  If you haven’t heard this beautiful song, you should really seek it out.  My wife (who has a voice like an angel) sang it with her friend one time at their church, and I was emotional and teary listening to them.  This version is not my wife’s version.  I give this 5 stars, though.
6. Charm – Wild Colonials:  One of the ways I find new music is by visiting various music blogs, sites that post wide assortments of songs to download and discover.  This is one of those songs.  I am hearing this for the first time right now.   A pretty good song with a good female lead vocal.  I’ll give it 4 stars and wait to pass final judgement on it whenever the next time I hear it will be.
7. Ask Me Why – The Beatles:  I have all The Beatles music in my rotation.  This is one of those songs from them that is kind of forgettable.  Pleasant when you hear it, but would be below middle of the pack if I was picking my favourite Beatles songs to take on a desert Island.  3 stars.
8. Terrible Angels – CocoRosie:  This song starts off with pig squeals and only gets better.  Two sisters singing together, one kinda operatic, the other kinda coquettish sex-kitten 4-in-the-morning raspy.  Uh huh.  4 stars.
9. Mental – Eels:  The lead singer of Eels has a voice you either will like or you won’t. I like.  Another 4 star song.  Easily 4 stars.
10. Welcome to Paradise – La GDT:  Imagine The Beach Boys but slowed down a bit, and a bit drunk.  I don’t know anything about this group, and I’m hearing this song for the first time.  Some of the harmonies sound a bit off, but it all works in a late-night should-we-go-home-or-stay-for-anoth – – hey some guys are singing!  shh, listen, cool, hey get me a beer wouldcha kind of way.

The Nation We Want To Be

Here is an excellent speech, by our Prime Minister, given to the House on Wednesday, on the issue of same-sex marriage.
Whomever wrote it deserves kudos.  Very smart and straightforward.
Read it, why don’tcha?

Songs:Illinois

There are a number of music blogs that I visit daily, searching for new and interesting music to sample.  One that has become my favourite lately is Songs:Illinois.  It specialises in country/folk/bluegrass/lofi/antifolk type stuff.  If you lean towards the lesser known singer/songwriter/honest song type of music, I think you’ll like the stuff this site posts.

Two Degrees of Separation from Nomi Malone


Annekenstein – American Tourists   Poor quality photo


In the first year of Annekenstein, we were priveleged to have Rick Roberts as a writer and actor.  In one of the scenes, I kissed him (as seen in photo above).  Even though I haven’t seen him since, and we only spent a summer together, I consider him a friend, and enjoy any successes he has in the entertainment industry.  He is also my main ‘in’ when I try to figure out my degrees of separation from famous people.

This weekend, I watched most of  the TV movie Student Seduction, starring Elizabeth Berkley of Showgirls Infamy.  Rick was in that movie as Elizabeth’s husband, and had a bedroom scene where he kisses her.

Rob kissing Rick kissing Elizabeth…

So, in a way, I kissed Elizabeth Berkley.  I feel so dirty.

The movie, by the way, wasn’t very good.  Bad script, but I thought  the acting was okay.  Rick, I biasedly feel, did a great job playing the supportive, caring husband.  Not much there to do, really, but  he did it well.

Scared By Stereo – Twice

Today, I had two separate moments when I got scared, both due to the effects of stereo.  The first was this morning, when I was driving my wife to work.  We were listening to music, when on the far right side of the car, came a spooky "oooooh" sound.  It startled me, and I thought my wife had seen something on the road and was "oooh"ing me to avoid it.  Turns out it was Emmylou Harris singing backup harmony on a Ryan Adams song.
The second time was at lunch.  I was walking back to work, with my headphones on, when deep in the back of the sound came a strange sound, which I interpreted as footsteps of someone behind me.  I knew there was nobody behind me, so the thought that all of a sudden someone was behind me was a bit unnerving for about half a second. 

Damn you Stereo and your two-channel spookings!

Thoughts – 1 cent each or 5 for a nickel

The Setting:  The drive-thru at Robin’s Donuts on the Trans Canada Highway in Charlottetown

The Dialogue
Female Server (pleasantly, thru speaker):  Welcome to Robin’s.  Can I take your order.
Rob:  Yeah, I’ll have an extra large double double.
Female Server (thru speaker): Extra large double double.  Is that everything?
Rob:  Yeah.
Female Server (thru speaker):  Dollar Seventy-One.  Drive through please.
Rob:  Thank you.
{Rob drives up to window)
Female Server:  That’s a dollar seventy-one.
{Rob gives Female Server a Toonie.  Server gives Rob 30 cents change – a quarter and a nickel)
Female Server:  That’s enough for a phone call!  (pause)  And five thoughts!
Rob:  You’re right!
{Female Server gives Rob his coffee, says "Have a nice day" adn Rob drives off, smiling}

It takes such little effort for people to amuse others, yet it so rarely occurs.
Thanks Female Server for making my morning a little more pleasant.

One thing, though.  Why is an extra large double double at the Robins in Winsloe $1.69, while at the TCH and Stratford locations it’s $1.71??

Horses or Whores?

This is a public message for anyone who may have recently, um, "come in contact" with a cute N.S. filly named "Hundred Bucks To Win":  She’s got Herpes!!  If you’re looking for some equine action in the Truro area, just say ‘neigh’ until the situation stable-izes.
Horse-screwers, please, for the good of all, get yourselves checked out.

It’s getting almost so that a deviant can’t be a deviant anymore.  It’s like that old World War II quotation about indifference:  When they came to take away the {fill in the blank}…I did nothing.

When the priest gave my best friend a quarter to touch his holy place, I did nothing.
When his girlfriend started fooling around with another chick, I did nothing.
When HIV made it dangerous to screw gays, I did nothing.
When the whores started charging more for blowjobs, I did nothing.
Now that horses have herpes, etc…

And Do You Take This Tampon…?

The Man Whom God Himself Has Chosen To Rule The English is marrying Camilla Parker Bowles.  Raise your hands, who here will be getting up at 4:30am to watch the wedding?
I won’t, but I am guessing this will occur at the wedding:  The question will be asked, "Does anyone here have any reason why these two should not be wed?", all heads in attendance will first turn to Queen Elizabeth, who will subtly shake her head, long ago having given up trying to separate the two lovebirds.  Then heads will turn to that Dodi Fayed’s father, who will be too busy writing in his Big Book Of Conspiracies to raise his 4003 objections.  Finally, all heads will turn to the People of Great Britain, hoping they don’t pick this moment to say "The Monarchy is Bollocks!!" as the Commoners begin to take away the titles, castles and jewellery.  But the People of Britain won’t choose this moment to take up arms against The Royals, and a collective sigh of relief will be heard in the church.
Then, just as everyone turns back to the front, and the ceremony is about to continue, Princess Dead (she wasn’t dead after all!) will appear in the balcony at the back of the church, pounding on the Common-Folk-Repelling plexiglass window (the same strength plexiglass that the Pope uses in his Pope-Mobile), screaming "J’accuse!!!"
In the ensuing melee and craziness, Elton John will try to temper the crowd by beginning his one-time-only performance of  "England Bowles", his latest lyrical alteration to England’s Rose (which, only he knows, he’d also sing this summer when he opens the National Lawn Bowling Championships).
The roof of the church will then flip off, and a hot air balloon will be hovering overhead.  From the balloon’s bucket, Michael Jackson’s chimp Bubbles will motion for Charles and Camilla to ascend the Golden Rope of Scrutiny to the balloon and freedom.  Debating whether to do that, or listen to the second verse of Elton’s song (nervous about his recent Knighthood and how that would have him fair in the upcoming uprising, Elton would mis-sing the second verse, singing "England Blows!!"), they decide to climb the rope to the waiting chimp.
Camilla goes first, followed closely by Charles.  As he climbs the rope he looks up, and being provided a clear view up Camilla’s dress, sees she is not wearing any panties (and since Charles is wearing a Prince-Cam, the entire viewing audience also can see this spectacle).  Here, suddenly, he silently regrets that "I wish I was your tampon" line from a decade ago.
They climb in the balloon and Bubbles sails them off to freedom, never to be seen again.  Princess Dead turns out to have been a mass-hallucination, but Papa Fayed is unconvinced.  The Archbishop of Canterbury, who was presiding over the ceremony, asks if there’s "anyone here who’s gonna get hitched today, dammit!"  And if not, will he still get paid?
Baby-Spice stands up and declares that she’ll "marry anyone with a ten inch schlong. Right here, right now!", but sadly, nobody in attendance meets the requirement.
Right at this moment, a high-school student, angry that Baby-Spice demands a full ten inches, presses the button that begins the mechanism that revolves the floor, revealing the Thames that flows under the church.   The two QE’s (Queen Elizabeth and Queen Elton) are the first into the water, and having their blessing, everyone else jumps in too.

No, I’ll not bother watching.  See one wedding, you’ve seen them all.

Madly On

I just found out that Sketch 22 will be on CBC Radio 1’s Madly Off In All Directions this Sunday, Feb.13. 

In Charlottetown, it airs at 1pm.   I cannot tell you when it airs in your part of the world.  Well, I could, I suppose, if you told me where you lived, and if I took the time to find out, firstly, if CBC radio even  broadcasts to your area, and secondly, if Madly Off is part of the schedule for your area.  But I choose not to offer that service.  So, I will change my statement to this:  I choose not to tell you when it airs in your part of the world.  Unless, of course, you live in the same part of the world as I do, that being the Maritime provinces of Canada, in which case I’ve already told you.  So, I’ll change my statement to the following:  I choose not to offer any more information than this:  Sketch 22 will be on CBC Radio’s Madly Off In All Directions, for many, but not necessarily all, people who are able to receive the station and the program, this Sunday, Feb.13.  If your radio is on (and plugged in, and your home/apartment/vehicle has power) at the appropriate time, and is tuned to the correst frequency, and if you listen to it, you will be able to hear it.

Assuming that you’re not deaf.

Schedule your Sunday around it.

But I Only *Kissed* The Ass!!!

The Ayatollah’s Book of Etiquette

Number 2,631:  It is loathsome to eat the meat of a horse, a mule, or a donkey if someone has had coitus with the animal.

Graham, this would have been good to know BEFORE we went to that Beastiality, Butchery & BBQ party the other night, don’t you think?