Author Archives: Rob MacD

Forget “Gentle Island”…


Open For Summer Ass
Originally uploaded by The Annekenstein Monster.

Now this is a tourism slogan that I can get behind. “Prince Edward Island – Open For Summer Ass”

Forget "Gentle Island"…


Open For Summer Ass
Originally uploaded by The Annekenstein Monster.

Now this is a tourism slogan that I can get behind. “Prince Edward Island – Open For Summer Ass”

Butch, Sundance & Pamela Anderson

You may remember a couple of months ago, I was approached by a sort of grassroots marketing company and asked if I’d be interested in reviewing the newly released DVD of Pamela Anderson and posting it to my blog.  Of course you remember.  This blog is very important to you.  Anyway, I said I’d be delighted to do that (no qualms here about being a shill for the Hollywood machine).  So they sent me the DVD and I watched it, and posted what I thought was a fairly un-shill like review.  I’m not going to bother to find the post and provide a link to it, because somehow that implies these posts have worth.  And while I suspect a number of readers get disconsolate if I don’t post something fresh for them to read each day, and they would argue that these posts do have worth, at least to them, I prefer to think of these posts as empty vessels.
So, I reviewed it and that was that.  Until today, when the same company emails me and asks if I’d be interested in presenting another review.  Whereas last time I had to trek through the sludge of comedy that focused far too much on Miss Anderson’s gaping beaver (alleged)  (Alleged gaping, not alleged beaver, because I think we’re all pretty sure she’s not got dangling participles down there), this time I may have struck gold.  I’ll be sent a DVD of a new collector’s edition of one of my favourite movies:  Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

And just now, having re-read those last couple of sentences, I realise how sad and pathetic it is to create a post about how one is excited about the anticipation of receiving a free DVD in return for being something of a corporate whore.
No.  I will not allow myself to fall for that kind of talk.  I am a valued member of the critical press.  My opinion is cherished.

It is also for sale.  If anyone else wants to send me stuff in return for my honest opinion of it, I’ll gladly listen to your offers.  Perhaps you have a photo you took, and you have no idea if it’s Art.  Send it to me, and I’ll tell you.  Maybe you’re in charge of soliciting low-ranking bloggers for their opinions on how well the latest video iPod works.  Send me one, and I’ll tell the world what I think.  Maybe you sell frozen beefsteak from the western provinces and are trying to get a foothold here in Eastern Canada.  Ship some steaks my way and I’ll cook ’em up and eat ’em.  Then I’ll tell the great multitudes of readers (conservatively estimated now at at least tens of ones) whether they’re worth purchasing.

T.A.M. Daily Trivia – May Results

Here are the results of last month’s The Annekenstein Monster Daily Trivia:

23 players played during the month.

1. Grover (275 points, 4 wins)
2. TracyJ (268 points, 3 wins)
3. Mrmovie (262 points, 3 wins)
4. reverseflash (260 points, 1 wins)
5. Wessie (257 points, 3 wins)
6. annekenstein (255 points, 1 wins)
7. dsoju (222 points, 4 wins)
8. RFTT1985 (216 points, 2 wins)
9. desperation (199 points, 1 wins)
10. dsoju’s sis (179 points, 5 wins)

Congratulations, Grover, for being May’s top Monster.  I hang my head in shame for my disappointing sixth overall.

If you’re not playing, and want to, here’s the link:

The Annekenstein Monster Daily Trivia

Once you sign up, it’s easy to play:  Once daily, ten questions answered as fast as you can.

Sports Beat

Here’s what’s happening in the sports world, relevant to my interests:

  • The Wonderful Saga of Ricky Williams continues. Here’s the scoopula on running back Ricky Williams.  The New Orleans Saints traded all their picks one year to ensure that they could get him in the college draft.  They did.  He performed very well on the field, but didn’t really fit in with his team-mates.  He got traded to Miami, and I was very excited for him to be a Dolphin.  He performed very well for Miami, then suddenly decided to retire. A couple of weeks before training camp started.  At first, his decision to retire seemed kind of noble – “football doesn’t interest me anymore, and I’m more interested in pursuing other things in life”.  While it was maddening to have him quit when he did, I could accept it.  Then it gets revealed that he’s really retiring because he was going to be suspended a year anyway for drug violations.  He was an admitted marijuana user and was found in violation of the NFL’s (too strict, in my opinion) drug policies.  He spends the season “finding himself”, camping out under the stars in the Australian outback, finding spiritual enlightenment in Asia, being a generally odd type of person (as far as typical sports figures go).  He then claims he’d like to return to the Dolphins and play again.  He’s given up smoking and wants to commit to the team fully.  This claim comes shortly before it’s revealed that he owes the Dolphins something like 6 million dollars for breaking his contract earlier.  His commitment to football seems somewhat dubious based on his debts.  Still, after a 4 game suspension last year (the backend of his original suspension), he plays again for the Dolphins, primarily as a backup, and has a surprisingly good season.  By all accounts, he is the model athlete, and while still rather aloof to his team-mates, is in no way considered a disruption to the team.  The opposite, in fact.  After last season, it gets reported that he’s broken the drug policies again (although this time it’s not marijuana), and will once again be suspended.  He claims he hasn’t knowingly broken the rules, and places the blame of the positive drug testing on some herbal supplements that are part of his vitamin regimine.  He appeals and loses.  He gets banned for the upcoming season.  Enter the Toronto Argonauts of the CFL, who’d love to have him play for them.  The Dolphins (who still own his playing rights) say they’d rather not have him play in the CFL and expect him to be back with them next season (2007).  After assurances that he’ll return to Miami as soon as this season of the CFL ends, the Dolphins coach gives him permission to play with Toronto.  So, now, Ricky is an Argonaut and will play this summer/autumn with them.  How much weirder can this guy’s travels get?  And, still, after all the consternation he’s caused us Dolphins fans, I’m finding that I’m still rooting for him to succeed.
  • Formula One raced last weekend at Monaco.  While it’s hailed as the  prestigious race of the season (due to the exotic locale and racing through the streets of Monte Carlo and all), it’s usually a bore of a race to watch.  Very little passing, and once you get passed the thrill of seeing these super-fast cars racing around very narrow streets at seemingly impossible speeds, it becomes not much more than watching cars parade around for a couple of hours.  At this race, more than any other, being on pole at the beginning of the race is critical.  Stay at the front and you don’t have to pass anyone ahead of you.  Much better chance to win the race.  So, during the qualifying on Saturday, Michael Schumacher had the fastest so-far qualifying time, and as the hour of qualifying was drawing to a close, it seemed like he’d be on pole.  However, with only enough time to finish the qualifying lap each driver was currently on, Michael’s chief rival, Fernando Alonso was on a lap that looked like it would beat Michael’s already-posted time.  So, Michael, who was ahead of Fernando on the track, had some sort of mechanical problem, and stalled on the course.  This brought out the yellow caution flags and effectively ruined the last timing-lap of those behind him.  Therefore, Alonso lost his chance to beat Schumacher’s time (and it seemed like he would beat it to, based on earlier interval times on the lap).  Michael shrugs off the incident and blames it on a lapse in concentration or some such thing.  Everyone else, though, cries foul, and accuses Michael of cheating.  Of purposefully ruining the final qualifying lap of Alonso.  A seven hour hearing is convened and results in finding Schumacher guilty of purposefully stopping on the course.  His penalty is rather severe – all his qualifying times are wiped away, and he’s forced to start the race at the back of the grid.  Alonso, who had the second fastest qualifying time, then achieved the pole position.  Alonso then went on to win the race, and Schumacher actually performed quite remarkably, finally ending in 5th or 6th.  What makes this so interesting to me is that Michael Schumacher, in my mind, the greatest race-car driver ever to sit behind a wheel, has had more than his share of controversial moments in his career.  He was stripped of a season of points about a dozen years ago when he was found guilty of intentionally running into Jacques Villeneuve, who was his chief rival in the Drivers’ Championship.  Other incidents, too, have marred his spectacular career.  But I don’t recall any incident of his being so unanimously and vehemently chastised as this one.  The whole of Formula One is up in arms against him and it could potentially damage or tarnish his reputation as a champion.  And even through all of his dubious shortcomings, I still find myself cheering for him because of his immense and deep talents as a driver.
  • The World Cup is about to start, and I can’t wait.  Being of Scottish heritage, I find myself forced to cheer on England.  Failing that, I usually sub-cheer for one of the Scandinavian countries, followed by one of the more underdog of the South American entries.  I find it hard to cheer for Germany or France, and all those African countries are just too much of a puzzle for me.  I am unable to cheer on the USA in any international sporting event, even in an underdog situation like this, where them doing well would likely increase the popularity of the sport here in North America.  Depending on how the officiating goes (not so many dubious calls in favour of the home country please), I’ll go with my heart and say that this is the year that England wins.  And really, wouldn’t that be the best?

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Not To Misqued Someone, But…

Did anyone read the full-page Walter Piccott ad in today’s The Guardian?  Holy smokes!
Here it is, punctuated as printed:

A Family Passion

When asked what fuels the fire on the action corner Stephen Piccott General Manager answered quite promptly with , ” that’s and easy one its “PASSION” for this place I don’t no if its right or wrong but both me and my dad Walter Piccott President share the same feelings down deep for Walter Piccott Chevrolet Cadillac Chevy Trucks its running through our veins and we have a connection here on this corner thats honestly, probably too much for a place to come to work but its naturally embedded in us.  I remember the night we had our grand opening of the new facility and both me and dad spoke for a few minutes to the guests and media and we both we’re so overwhelmed with emotion that a lot of people questioned us after and our only answers were, it’s what we’re all about and to introduce this beautifu new facility to PEI is simply a dream come true for our family.
We’re very excited about our 2006 auto show that will be held this weekend here at the dealership showcasing all the exciting new 2006 General Motors products and services and special auto show offers General Motors has had some negative press lately and I think a lot of it has been misqued in my opinion General Motors is the number one automaker in the world and has been for many years the GM commitment introduced earlier this year is a step made by General Motors that sets them apart from other automakers and lays it on the line with lowest suggested prices, most added features, best in class designs and top quality in every vehicle it’s what I like to call A Home Team Story. General Motors is a North American company that takes care of its own and at the end of the day the hard earned dollars that consumers spend on the second biggest purchase of there life stays in North America with the home team.  I know that seems like a pretty powerful statement and thats exactly what it is, General Motors North American proud.  I invite all fellow islanders to drop by Friday from 4 till 8 and Saturday form 9 till 1 to experience for themselves a touch of this passion with the home team.”

So, how did that happen?  Was it written in an email, with the horrible punctuation, and then transferred as is?  Was it intentional?  Was it a recorded statement that was later transcribed?  If so, why wasn’t it corrected?
How is this allowed?

Brokeback Prison?

I’ve been wondering about this for sometime now.  In the Elvis Presley classic, Jailhouse Rock, are the following lyrics:

Number forty-seven said to number three:
“You’re the cutest jailbird I ever did see.
I sure would be delighted with your company,
come on and do the Jailhouse Rock with me.”

So, what exactly is going on between Number 47 and Number 3?  Are they both men?  One would assume such, since I doubt the jail was co-ed.  In the ’50’s, when this song came out, I wonder was there any thought about the potential homosexual suggestiveness of this lyric?
I mean, what the hell is going on?  Questions need to be answered!!!

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I’ll Say It… I’m In Love With Prince

So, there’s about 15 minutes of air-time to kill yet, before the last-minute announcement of who is the next American Idol.  It’s been an hour and 45 minutes of some really awful medley songs from “the idols” and some slightly better songs from some special guest stars.
We come back from a commercial break and Ryan’s at the podium.  He tells us that that’s it for the guest stars, no more surprises.  So, immediately I know there’s gonna be another surprise.  Especially with 15 minutes left.  He continues talking and I’m wondering if it’s gonna be some lame-duck music icon from decades past, or some lame-duck pseudo-icon from present day.  All of a sudden, Ryan gets interrupted by some horn blasts, and the lights go all funky.
It’s a little jarring, and takes me about two seconds to realise that *this* is the surprise.  Okay, so who’s it gonna be?  Cut to the stage and these two sexy women are dancing.  At the back of the stage, the doors open and somebody is silhouetted.  Somebody small.  He does some Michael Jackson dance moves (or should I say James Brown?).  Surely it’s not Michael, I think to myself.  And then, even before that thought finishes, I understand.  I understand but cannot possibly comprehend.  Because, right there, on the TV, during American Idol… right there, is Prince.
Prince.  On American Idol. 
The thought that it’s some Prince impersonator shoots through my mind, but I don’t believe it.  Yet I cannot believe what I’m seeing.
Prince. On American Idol.
And I gotta say:  He frigging owned that stage.  He sings a coy version of Lolita (from his latest, great album 3121), and he looks like he’s having lots of fun. 
Song ends and I’m very happy.  What a fantastic surprise!  And what a way to end the season.  Prince.  On American Idol.
Then he sings a second frigging song!  (Satisfied, also from 3121).
After that, I think Taylor Hicks won the competition.  I don’t care about that, though.  Friggin’ Prince was on American Idol.

Here’s the YouTube video.  It may not be available for long, so watch it early:

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Harper To Answer His Own Questions Only?

This is weird. Today I
got an email that I don’t think was intended for me. Not sure how it
ended up in my inbox. Turns out it’s an email from Prime Minister
Stephen Harper to his press secretary Carolyn Stewart Olsen. In the
email, he discusses all manner of business. But one part of it
raised my eyebrows a bit: a section where he discusses the recent
controversy regarding his decision to hand-pick which reporters are
allowed to ask him questions. I offer it to you here:

… further to this,
Carolyn, I think it would be prudent for us to begin the process of
deliminating the potential for criticisms of me and the government
from all future press conferences (funny, eh, how “press
conferences” starts with PC!!! maybe we could use that as a joke
sometime?) by initiating a strategy of, not only directing who gets
to ask me questions, but also, what the questions are that will be
asked. (it seems to work very well for Bush).

Here are some
questions, then, that I think would be good to be asked of me at the
next PC (ha ha). You know which of the coughjournalistscough are the
ones who we can count on, Carolyn, so you decide which of them gets
to ask these questions. Try to spread the questions out, in terms of
covering reporters from all across Canada.  You know, from BC to Quebec. And
make sure to include some from those reporters who are my so-called
“detractors”. If they refuse to ask them, just inform them that
the back of the reporter line is a long ways away from the TV
cameras.

Question: Mr. Prime
Minister, what is your opinion of the newest American Idol, Taylor
Hicks? (by the way, Carolyn, I think he’s great! He sounds both rock
and roll, and churchy. And he kind of looks like me, don’t you
think?) Followup: Any idea as to where the next Canadian Idol may
end up coming from? (would it be too pushy of me, Carolyn, to
suggest an Albertan might win?)

Question: Mr. Prime
Minister, do you think the Oilers will win the Western Division in
four straight? (Carolyn, there might be a chance here for a joke
about “that’s the kind of majority victory I wouldn’t mind having”.
Do you get it? Funny?) Followup: Should all Canadians be proud
of the tenacity of the Edmonton Oilers? (would it be too pushy of
me, Carolyn, to suggest an Albertan team might win? Can you find out
for me how many Canadian players are on that team? Also, is mentioning Gretzky in relation to the Oilers taboo?)

What do you think? Are
these a bit too soft-ball? Will the public catch on? Maybe we
should put one in there that is more, you know, directly related to
government stuff. How about this:

Question: Mr. Prime
Minister, the government seems to be running pretty smoothly these
past few months. Better, in fact, than all those years of wicked
Liberal domination. What do you think, then, sir, is the best thing
about what your government has done so far? (Carolyn, get the boys in
research to find something suitable as an answer.) Followup: Can I
have your autograph? (don’t forget to order more 8X10′ head shots of
me).

Anyways, Carolyn,
that’s what I’m thinking regarding that. On a related topic, I think
I need to get a new barber. One that knows how to do that Taylor
Hicks look. Seriously, I think we should play up on the similarities
between me and him.

And it goes on from  there.

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What Do You Do With The Mad You Feel?

Here’s a wonderful clip of Mr. Rogers appearing before a 1969 US Senate committee that was deciding whether to cut funding in half (from 20 million to 10 million) to the newly developed Corporation for Public Broadcasting.
Would it make me a softy to say that my eyes filled with tears watching this? His care and concern and soft-spoken gentleness is an inspiration.  I was never a fan of the program Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, but I always had respect for the man.

Watch this.  It’s only six minutes long.  Click on these words to view it.