AmerIdol

I don’t like any of the American Idol contestants, as performers.  Bland, bland, bland.  I can’t imagine being even remotely interested in anything that any of them would bring to a song recording as the next American Idol.  Just like I don’t care about any of the current winners and second place and former contestants.  It’s all shit songs sung by pre-fab crappers.  It’s not for me, the music, the industry.

Why do I watch?

Now, on to the reviews:

Constantine sang "Knights of Broadway" and did a pretty good job with it.  I agree with Simon’s Las Vegas entertainer criticism of the performance and who cares?  The best thing I can say about Constantine’s performance was that his smouldering sexuality was hard to locate this week.   I don’t like the song, and his performance of it did nothing to alter my impression of the song.

Carrie, looking like a toy-doll dressed up by a very lonely little girl, sings a song I can’t stand:  MacArthur Park.  I didn’t think she did a very good job of it.  Yeah, she kept the final warbling notes for a long time, but who cares?  My problem with Carrie is that her eyes always appear vacant, like she’s physically on the stage, but her mind is totally elsewhere.  That she admitted that she had no idea what the song was about was foolish, I thought.  And it added to her empty performance of it.  At least make the lyrics mean something to you, and emote that.  She just sang the words, more or less note for note, and there was nothing behind it. 

I am giving up on liking Scott.  He’s just looks too much a pent up anger bomb.  When he attempts to smile it reminds of Mr. Burns trying to smile.  It’s just not natural.  I do like the impression that Scott at least seems to be investing in the songs he sings.  Too bad his voice can’t live up to the quality of the competition.  An okay job by him, but he’ll be bottom three, again.  Oh, and shut up about your mother picking your songs for you.  Just stop that.

Anthony gave perhaps his strongest vocal performance, but all other aspects of his segment were weak.  He is just a little boy pretending to be a man.  Everyone can see it, can’t you?  He has moments when his voice sounds strong, but they are always followed by moments of weakness and failing.  And he doesn’t know what to do with his body.  He has no ability to control or knowledge of his presence.  He is boring.  I wish he was long gone.  I don’t like him.

Vonzell has another strong week, but was often on the verge of being upstaged by the three excellent background singers.  That was troubling.  I’ve noticed, too, that she has a trick she relies on, which is to laugh as if she’s having fun.  Once it seemed genuine, but week after week, I’m beginning to think it’s affected.  If it is, then boo on her.  She’s gonna go a long way in the competition.

Anwar will be gone after tonight’s show.  I’ve given up on him.  He’s constantly undersold his talents and I’m no longer waiting for him to give the performance I’ve been waiting for from him.  He’s too much a thinker and seems incapable of just doing.  Just sing and enjoy yourself.  Now it’s too late, because he’ll be gone.  And I could care less.

Bo.  Bo and I just don’t get along.  I don’t like the music he sings and I don’t like the way he sings it.  I hate his hair and I guess I just don’t get him.  Only because everyone says he did great will I assume he did great.  I didn’t see it myself.  I never see the brilliance that is apparently Bo.

A pretty boring week, I thought.  Unmemorable.

Bottom three:  Anwar, Carrie, Scott

Leaving:  Anwar  (who should leave:  Anthony.  Always Anthony, until he actually leaves)

Moncton Blitzkrieg

This is pure inanity…
Here are some notes and observations from the very quick and simple Moncton Shopping Blitzkrieg.
The plan was to leave Charlottetown on Saturday around 10am.  We left our driveway at 9:55 but inexplicably didn’t leave Charlottetown until about 11:10.  Well, actually it is explicable.
We had to go get Cameron, who was on the morning side of a sleepover at a friend’s house.  He had a good time, he said, although they didn’t get much sleep.  This fact would become a major factor later on in the trip.  After we got Cameron, I thought I would take this time to exchange my (potentially faulty) iTrip FM transmittor at Future Shop and then have a properly functioning one for the trip.  So, that took about twenty minutes too long.  Then we had to go get some cash.  The first bank/ATM (at WalMart) was not functioning, so off to the second one, further in town.
Finally on our way, I was a bit grumpy, for three reasons:  1) it was taking too long to get going, 2) there wasn’t quite the amount of money in the bank I thought there was, and 3) the new iTrip was just as crappy as the original one (I think, actually, it’s our crappy car that causes the iTrip to be too static-y, which severely lessens the enjoyment of listening to the iPod in the car).
We get in Cornwall, and stop at the Tims for some on-the-road bagels and coffee.  This stop, too, takes too long and it’s about 11:30 before we’re actually "on our way".
On our way to the bridge, we play a road-trip game.  We each pick a colour of vehicle.  Each time that colour vehicle meets us on the road, we get a point.  First to 10 wins.  I picked "red" and came a close second (I had 9) to Cameron, who picked "blue".  Karyn was a distant third with only 7 "white" vehicles.
We gassed up in Borden-Carleton at the Esso.  I noticed a couple of new flavours of Humpty Dumpty chips and as I’m a sucker for trying new flavours of chips I have to try them.  "Lime and Pepper" and "Cheese and Onion".  The rest of the car is aghast at the anticipation of the stink from the chips.  I open the Lime and Pepper, and what a pleasant surprise.  They are fantastic!  So subtle in flavour, a great taste experience.  The rest of the car become fans of the chips and I begrudginly share.  Having inhaled the Lime and Pepper chips, we decide to save the Cheese and Onion for the trip home.
Cameron, hung over from a night of sleep deprivation, falls quickly to sleep in the back seat of the car, and we zoom to Moncton.  He awakes moments before we arrive in the city proper.
I’m not too hungry from the bagels and coffee and chips, so it’s up to the other two to decide where to eat.  They are tempted by Chinese, but decide against it after realising it’s a buffet.  A quickly decided upon second choice is Jungle Jims.  I had faint recollections of poor service the last time we were there, so long ago, but was up for the experience.  It was a mistake.  The service was terrible, the food not so great, and it took forever to leave.  They cut us a deal on our bill, but I can’t recommend the place lowly enough.
Mediocre food in our bellies, it’s off to shop!  We Champlain Place it, and away we go.  My goal is to find a jacket.  Karyn wants some new clothes in general, and Cameron is hoping we buy him a video game.  After a couple of hours in the mall, Karyn has a couple of new pieces of clothing, Cameron has a new video game and I have a new jacket.
We decide to head to the other side of town, and check out Winners et al, plus see if there’s a movie we could all take in (there wasn’t).  On our way to Winners, we see the new Old Navy store.  Excited we are, and we head inside.  It was very busy.  I may have bought something, but the lines for the checkout were much too long, so we left empty-handed.  Winners had moved from where I remember it, but we found the new one.  Disappointing, it seemed much smaller than the original one.  Not much bigger than the Charlottetown one.
Having spend ourselves shopping, we have a decision. Hang around Moncton for an hour or so, wait until we’re hungry, then eat, or head home and eat on the way, most likely at my favourite of favourite places, the Aulac Big Stop Irving.  We choose to head home.
On the way to Aulac,  Cameron promptly fell asleep, only to wake up moments before we arrive at the Irving.  We did make a small detour on the way, taking a drive through the lovely town of Sackville.  Karyn got very excited about seeing a pheasant on the road in front of us (she gets excited at seeing any animal).
Again, I was amazed at the professionalism of the servers at the Big Stop.  Amazing ability to be upbeat and positive and fast and courteous and friendly.  Amazing.  Moments before we got there, Karyn came down with a whopper of a headache and didn’t really enjoy the Big Stop busi-ness.  It didn’t help that the new toy that accompanies kids meals at the Big Stop was an annoying whistle.  Six or seven kids throughout were whistling their obliviously annoying high pitched whistles.  And still the servers appeared happy.  How?
I so rarely order dessert (as you can likely tell by my svelte figure), but for years I’ve been intrigued by the immensely huge size of the desserts on display at the Big Stop.  I succumbed and ordered a piece of chocolate cake.  It was huge and delicious.  We couldn’t finish it.  And it only cost $3.49.  Amazing.
We drove home, Cameron stayed awake, and got home about 9:30.

And that was the blitzkrieg to Moncton.

In Moncton, I become Islander

I have a stereotypical image of what an Islander is:  He is of slight build, with ballcap, denim jeans and denim jacket.  He holds a Tim Hortons cup almost always.

I am not of slight build, I don’t wear ball caps (not the right shaped head), only occasionally hold Tims cups (prefer Robins), and until this weekend, didn’t wear a denim jacket.  This weekend I took a major step towards looking like an Islander.  I bought a denim jacket.  In Moncton.
I had been searching for a new jacket for a few weeks now.  I wanted one that had big pockets on the lapel (big enough to carry my iPod and my digital camera), pockets in front down below (to carry car keys and coins).  Buttoned up or zippered, it didn’t matter, but I wanted it to be cotton or denim.  And it needed to be long enough for my tall frame.  I didn’t want a nylon jacket.  Any jacket I saw in Charlottetown failed in some way, so I moved to the internet and a brief search there failed too.  My only hope was a trip to Moncton.
It’s the old story:  I looked in practically every pertinent store in Moncton and hadn’t found a jacket that came close.  After mentally giving up, I went into one more store, and there it was:  the jacket.  Huge upper pockets, deep dark lower front pockets (some inner pockets too!) and it was on sale.  The only down side was that the jacket was of that type of denim that looks old and worn, kind of distressed.  I really don’t like that.  So, I had a decision to make.  Get a jacket that is perfect in almost every way except for the crappy faded look, or, succumb to my petty ideas of taste and leave empty handed.
I bought the jacket and I’m glad I did.
Now I just have to rid myself of the notion that I look like an Islander.  I am a Maritimer.  Just like those two guys in Goin’ Down The Road.
I must embrace my roots. 
I must be me.

Eenie Meenie My Knee Ow

It’s been a while since I updated you all on the status of my sore knees (I wait, as I hear the exhalation of air from  thousands of readers who’ve been holding their breath)…

I hurt my knees a couple of weeks after I started walking/jogging.  I am such a cliche.  Well, the pain was considerable at times, but (since it was the same type of pain as my recurring "university basketball knee injury" trouble) I knew it would eventually get better.  After two weeks of not really getting better, I decided I should see a doctor, so I went to a night clinic.  It was a fairly fast procedure, the night clinic, as I was in and out in about an hour and a half.
The doctor confirmed my expectations that all that was needed to heal me was time.  However, in her examination of my knees (what with the pulling and the gyrating and the flavin flave), she made them much much more painful.  I hobbled home and began my weeklong campaign of medicating myself with Advil (I usually don’t take pain medication, but this pain was an exception).  The Advil worked at hiding the pain, but my knees still felt pretty weak and tender.
That was almost two weeks ago.  By this past weekend, my knees are/were at about 90%.  The pain is gone, the Advil is gone, and only the occasional twinge of the slightest pain is experienced.

As the doctor was examining me, she was manipulating my legs in all manner of directions and noticed an odd cracking sound at in my hip region.  She didn’t like the sound of it and suggested that maybe jogging wouldn’t be the best approach for me in my quest to get healthier.

So, I’m not going to be running for a while.  I’ll begin a walking (and perhaps bicycling) regimine in about a week’s time, and build myself up from there.

I Am An Empeg

You are .mpg You live life like it was a movie. Constantly in motion, you bring pleasure to many, but are often hidden away.
Which File Extension are You?

Apprentiac

As I was watching The Apprentice last night…was it me, or did  pontiac there seem to solstice be an abundance of in-show advertising pontiac for a particular product. 
This, of course, is normal pontiac for The Apprensolstice but last night was excessively so.  The more I watched the hour, the cheaper pontiac I felt.  Of course, it didn’t help that solstice every second ad during the commercial breaks (an ironic phrase seeing how there actually is no ‘break’ between since the entire show has turned become all about the product anyway) was pontiac for Pontiac as well.

Too much.  pontiac

The Mow My Lawn Commitee

I see in this cbc report that Charlottetown City Councillor Mitchell Tweel is to receive his $16,000 councillor "salary" despite not being on any committees (because he was removed from the committees he was on).  Apparently, councillors are expected to sit on committees in order to receive their annual stipend.

Therefore, I propose the Mow My Lawn Committee, which Councillor Tweel can be let in charge of.  I realise that Mitchell does not represent my district.  And I realise that, perhaps of all the councillors, Mitchell is the one who is most adamant about doing good for his district, even if it’s detrimental to other districts.  Because of this, i think it is unlikely that he gives a shit about my lawn, but I think he’d go a long way to earning the share of his salary that I paid out to him, if he would come to my house and mow my lawn.  Once a year, in August.

So, how about it Mitch?  I’ll supply the gasoline and the push-mower, you supply the validation of your councillorship.

I Am Robot, Hear Me Sing

OMG!!!  Could you believe it when Paula said something negative about one of the contestants’ performance?  I was like SHUT UP!  Tammy, what are you wearing to school tomorrow?  Don’t wear your pink Hello Kitty because I’m wearing mine, kay?  And Anthony the Russian likes you.

Sorry.
I was just trying to get into the mindset of a 13 year old MSN Messenger girl because:
a) I go undercover on chatlines trying to trick perverts into  thinking I’m  13 and available, just part of the sting.
b) I want to try to understand the mentality that keeps voting for Anthony the ArMuEsRsIiCaAnN to stay in American Idol.
c) It just really turns me on.

Here’s my oh-so-important opinion about last night’s performances.  Ignore as you see fit:
The order in which I remember them:

Nadia:  She wears a red short short tina turner "I’m Still Sexy, Dammit!" dress, and it looks great.  She looks great, with legs that don’t quit.  Too bad her song was so dreadfully boring.  It was sung well (I thought) but there was just something lacking.  Nadia is in danger of Bottom Three tonight.  Oh, and she’s gotta be careful of those mouth contortions too.  Sure, sure, emote all you want, and the tina turner scowl face can look good if employed for just a sec, but when tina turner turns into the Rober DeNiro "I’m holding a pistol at your head, and I’m angry, and I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you" look…well, then you got problems.

Bo: I’m not a fan of Bo, even though, apparently, the rest of the world is.  His rendition of Free Bird was not very good in my opinion.  I’m not sure if it’s the song, or his version, but it seemed to consist of only 6 notes, sung in random order, over and over and all emitted with a "rock" grrrr through clenched rock balls.  Bo has lost some of his early favourite status, I’d say.

Scott:  I agree with Simon that many of Scott’s notes were not the right ones.  But, he sang them with heart and soul and conviction, and when you do that, well that cancels a lot of the mistakes.  I thought this was Scott’s best performance so far, and he even seems to be letting that Psycho Killer persona drop a little bit.  Heck, he was even smiling last night.  I think of all the contestants, Scott is the one who can best explore the emotion in a song.

Anwar:  Technically the best singer in the competition?  Technically the most consistently under-performing contestant.  Oh Amway, I’ve given up on you.  You have yet to show us the voice and emotion and joy that lies somewhere within you.  You are a singing robot, coded to sing the correct notes.  If it’s not too late (that is, if you don’t get booted off tonight, which is a real possibility) you need to become a human boy and discover your beating, blood-pumping heart.  If you make it past tonight, then no more do I want to hear: "the song I’m singing tonight is 1000100101001000110001111001010011001010001."

Anthony: Blech.  Blonde hair, blue eyes, good looking.  You remind me of a younger me.  Blech.  At least he performed the best I’ve seen him yet.  And that was still the worst of the bunch.  Anthony’s biggest problem is a weak voice.  In a singing competition, that’s a pretty serious problem.  But seeing as this is a popularity contest, keep on trucking, A-Fed.  I’ve already wasted more words on you than I think you deserve, but here’s a couple more: You shouldn’t be in this competition.

Carrie:  Guess what, world!  Carrie Rocks!!  Unfortunately, she doesn’t rock very well.  If you can, look at a replay of her performance last night.  She was most definitely there in body, but look behind the eyes, and she was a million miles away.  She also sings like a robot, if you ask me.  But a root that has had its emotion chip installed a thousand years ago.  That robot, you see, has long ago given up the quest to actually feel, think, emote like a hu-man.  All it can do is be almost hu-man.  Carrie is almost hu-man.

Vonzell: Oh Vonzell, I may have misjudged you.  I’ve called you on the lacking emotion in song earlier, but I think you must have found a couple of bags of Constantine’s Extra Emotion Elixir ™, because the last two weeks, you’ve brought your quality way up.  Last night, I thought she was the best of the bunch.  Let’s hear it for the girl!

Constantine:  Okay, Constantine was obviously rope-a-doping the competition in the early rounds.  Last three weeks. though, he’s been dynamite.  Last night’s "Bohemian Rhapsody" was a risky choice (I thought. Always dangerous to tackle an iconic song like that.  Just ask Simon about Free Bird.) but he did a great job with it.  I may even be succumbing to his smoldering eyes and pouty mouth.

Bottom Three tonight:
Anwar, Nadia, Carrie

Leaving:
Nadia

Phil, Such An Elimination Tease!

My very good friend, CBC Mainstreet host and Sketch22 compatriot, Mort Rainnie, turned me on to this funny article about last night’s The Amazing Race.

Mort found it funny.  I found it funny.  If you are watching this round of TAR, you will most likely find it funny.

Three Wins

It’s not often that the people/teams that I cheer for in any sport win.  Sunday it was victory, victory, victory.  All in sports that non-sports fans would probably find incredibly boring.

First up was Men’s World Curling.  Canada won gold and won it fairly decisively.  I actually stoppes watching this game after about 6 ends, when it was clear they would win.  The really interesting game for Canada came during Saturday’s semi-final against Germany.  Right down to the second last rock of the game.  I enjoy watching curling.  The 4-Rock rule has been great for increasing offense and increasing viewing interest.

Then I switched over to NASCAR.  I always cheer for Jeff Gordon.  Yesterday he won, after coming back from 3 laps down.  I have yet to sit through an entire NASCAR race.  Too many laps that take too much time out of a day.  Usually I’ll watch a bit at the first, check in periodically over the next three hours, then try to tune in the final hour or so.  That’s what I did yesterday.

I ended the sports-day marathon with The Masters, watching Tiger Woods win his 4th green jacket.  It was a pretty exciting final round.  Chris DeMarco just wouldn’t give up, and kept pressure on Tiger who bogeyed his final two regular round holes, forcing a playoff.  Tiger won that.  He’s a pretty intense guy, that Tiger.  I doubt I’d like to hang out with him for any length of time, but he’s a pretty exciting golfer to be a fan of.

Also watched on Sunday:  Arrested Development, which continues to make me laugh out loud several times an episode.  And Deadwood, which I am enjoying more and more each week.