Arrested D’oh!velopment

I always thought it’d be an interesting experiment to take an actual episode of The Simpsons and try to reproduce it as best as possible, shot for shot, camera angle for camera angle but with live action actors.

A while ago, when I was watching Arrested Development, I was trying to figure out what it is about it that appeals to me so.  Smart writing, yes, good acting, yes, these are givens, but one thought I struck upon that I hadn’t before is that Arrested Development, more than any other live action show, comes closest to capturing that frenetic, what’s-gonna-come-next, where will this week’s plot eventually take us pace of The Simpsons.  Lots of really short scenes is the norm for both shows, there are all kinds of little jokes that zoom past you without you even realising it half the time, along with the big jokes, the plot can start off down one path and end up, 22 minutes later, somewhere totally unexpected.

So, there.  Has anyone else thought of that?  I should write a book, I’m so smrt. Smart.

Boring Exercise Update #2

I’m going to be keeping a small diary of my running exploits, so please feel free to ignore these posts.

Today was my second run.  The difficulty of the first run was 100 (the maximum on my scientific scale, on the probably flawed theory that subsequent runs get a bit easier).  It was a real trial to get through and I barely did.  Sounds simple, probably:  8 repetitions of 60 seconds or running followed by 90 seconds of walking.  But for a schlub like me, carrying around the extra pounds I do, it was a task, I tell ya.  The worst part was the two hours afterwards, what with the aches and the pains and the high-den-froid-en, nice laaaa-ddy!
Today’s run was again 8 repetitions of 60 seconds running and 90 seconds walking.  It seemed a bit easier to get through to the end of the 8 reps, and the afterwards pain is substantially less (see, I’m an ace at exercise!!), although I did find it kind of difficult to walk after my final run.  Not because of shortness of breath, or anything, but because of sore shins.
The big problem, one I hope goes away eventually, is the pain all up and down my left arm… no.  Is really sore shins.  Does anyone know if that will remedy itself after a few more attempts?  I hope so.
Anyway, exercise attempt number 2 rates a 90 on my worthless scale.  That’s a whole 10 point difference (those 10 points coming off because this time I had no doubt I’d finish the 8 reps).
Yay Me!!

Come Play On Our Island (bring protection)

You can’t beat free tourism advertising:

– Hell’s Angels Sets Up Chop-Shop in Charlottetown
– NB Bike Gang Expands Domain To Include PEI
– Charlottetown Policeman Caught With Child Pornography
– Mob of Charlottetown Teenagers Harrasses Chinese Restaurant Owners
– PEI Students Stupidest In Canada
– Charlottetown Festival to present Canada Rocks – A Musical Revue

(okay, just kidding on the last one.  Well, let’s just say the jury has not yet returned a verdict)

Exercise. Gasp!

I am not what I would call "fit".  I would love to remedy that but cannot begin to fathom the idea of going to a gym.  I have grown pathetically comfortable in my non-physically active lifestyle.  I have been contemplating, for months now, the notion of beginning to improve my fitness and well-being.  I had kind of talked myself into waiting until the weather was better before I begin any program that would involve outside activity.  Now that it is spring, it is time to take that contemplation and turn it into actuality.
So, today begins what I hope becomes a long and fruitful routine in my life.  Today I take fhe first steps towards getting more healthy.  Today I start a running regimen.
My goal is to be able to run 5 Kilometers straight within 9 weeks.  I found The Couch-to-5K-Running-Plan, which looks like a good way to ease me into the world of getting fit.
I hope I can force myself to stick through the initial weeks so that the routine can plant itself into my brain.  I post my intentions here so that I can fear the humiliation of failing in this task.

I’ll report back here on my progress as events warrant.
Once I succeed on this task, then perhaps I’ll be in a better condition (physically capable and mentally willing) to take advantage of the goodness that a gym and it’s services could offer me.

Exercise. Gasp!

I am not what I would call “fit”.  I would love to remedy that but cannot begin to fathom the idea of going to a gym.  I have grown pathetically comfortable in my non-physically active lifestyle.  I have been contemplating, for months now, the notion of beginning to improve my fitness and well-being.  I had kind of talked myself into waiting until the weather was better before I begin any program that would involve outside activity.  Now that it is spring, it is time to take that contemplation and turn it into actuality.
So, today begins what I hope becomes a long and fruitful routine in my life.  Today I take fhe first steps towards getting more healthy.  Today I start a running regimen.
My goal is to be able to run 5 Kilometers straight within 9 weeks.  I found The Couch-to-5K-Running-Plan, which looks like a good way to ease me into the world of getting fit.
I hope I can force myself to stick through the initial weeks so that the routine can plant itself into my brain.  I post my intentions here so that I can fear the humiliation of failing in this task.

I’ll report back here on my progress as events warrant.
Once I succeed on this task, then perhaps I’ll be in a better condition (physically capable and mentally willing) to take advantage of the goodness that a gym and it’s services could offer me.

Ken Burns’ “Civil War Jazz Ballers”

"My dearest Edith, today saw the sun shining and the fields of grass being mowed in preparation for the Tantonville Titans’ jazz ensemble performance.  On the mound will be our top trombonist, Willie "Slide" Carmichael, so I am filled with great hope.  If the ensemble goes well, we expect to capture the Pennawatty Pirates fort by nightfall.  Capturing this fort will go a long way in ensuring the North wins the war.  I hope to be home before the fall turnip harvest, but Cpl. Adamson says I’ll likely die in the 7th inning, running for a foul note.  Still, I remain hopeful.  Yours, forever, Kenny."
Left fielder and third trumpeter, private Kenny Kennilson’s letter to his estranged wife is but one of the touching and written letters from the men of the Tantonville Titans First Battalion Jazz Collective.  The first all white jazz group that saw battle in the great civil war.  Unfortunately, they all died at the Battle For Penawatty that day, by a score of 9-2.

Isn’t that a touching story?  If you’d like The Annekenstein Monster to continue with great stories, moving portraits like that, then I implore you to fake donate some money to The Annekenstein Monster right now.  It’s simple to do.  Compubots are standing by, over in the comments section of the Fake Pledge post.  Just click there and type in your fake-pledge amount.  Remember, no amount of fake money is too little, or too big.
I’m Rob MacDonald, owner and operator of this very site.  We’ll be back to Ken Burns’ excellent documentary "Ken Burns’ Civil War Jazz Ballers" in a never, but before we never get back, I’d like to tell you a bit about The Annekenstein Monster, and why it’s so important for you to fake contribute to it.
…
Having thought about it, I’m actually coming up empty.  Still.  The compubots are standing by.  And they do charge about $7.50 each per hour to stand by, so, I guess, that’s one reason to fake contribute…??
Thanks for your time, and now, back to "Ken Burns’ Civil War Jazz Ballers", exclusively on The Annekenstein Monster…
…

The Annekenstein Monster Fake Pledge Drive

Once again, friends, it’s time for the First Ever The Annekenstein Monster Annual Fake Pledge Drive.

To ensure that TAM continues to offer you the best postings possible, we ask you to look deep into your fake hearts, and to dig deep into your fake pocket books and send some fake money our way.  Every little fake bit helps the TAM team of writer search the brain, the internet and beyond for stories, inanity and musings that are sometimes funny, sometimes touching, but almost always irrelevent to your own personal lives.

Compubots are standing by, right now, in the Comments section of this post, awaiting your fake donations.  Simply leave a comment indicating how much fake money you are willing to fake donate to keep The Annekenstein Monster in the running as the Number One Website On The Internet*.

Thank you, in advance, for fake supporting The Annekenstein Monster

*website not actually in the running as the number one website on the internet.

Ken Burns’ "Civil War Jazz Ballers"

“My dearest Edith, today saw the sun shining and the fields of grass being mowed in preparation for the Tantonville Titans’ jazz ensemble performance.  On the mound will be our top trombonist, Willie “Slide” Carmichael, so I am filled with great hope.  If the ensemble goes well, we expect to capture the Pennawatty Pirates fort by nightfall.  Capturing this fort will go a long way in ensuring the North wins the war.  I hope to be home before the fall turnip harvest, but Cpl. Adamson says I’ll likely die in the 7th inning, running for a foul note.  Still, I remain hopeful.  Yours, forever, Kenny.”
Left fielder and third trumpeter, private Kenny Kennilson’s letter to his estranged wife is but one of the touching and written letters from the men of the Tantonville Titans First Battalion Jazz Collective.  The first all white jazz group that saw battle in the great civil war.  Unfortunately, they all died at the Battle For Penawatty that day, by a score of 9-2.

Isn’t that a touching story?  If you’d like The Annekenstein Monster to continue with great stories, moving portraits like that, then I implore you to fake donate some money to The Annekenstein Monster right now.  It’s simple to do.  Compubots are standing by, over in the comments section of the Fake Pledge post.  Just click there and type in your fake-pledge amount.  Remember, no amount of fake money is too little, or too big.
I’m Rob MacDonald, owner and operator of this very site.  We’ll be back to Ken Burns’ excellent documentary “Ken Burns’ Civil War Jazz Ballers” in a never, but before we never get back, I’d like to tell you a bit about The Annekenstein Monster, and why it’s so important for you to fake contribute to it.
…
Having thought about it, I’m actually coming up empty.  Still.  The compubots are standing by.  And they do charge about $7.50 each per hour to stand by, so, I guess, that’s one reason to fake contribute…??
Thanks for your time, and now, back to “Ken Burns’ Civil War Jazz Ballers”, exclusively on The Annekenstein Monster…
…

Free Chicken – new update

Today, my usual Friday lunch with Dave being cancelled, I trudged off to conduct the latest round in the Great  Chicken Fingers Experiment.

Today’s results:
Five nice sized fingers
A pleasant mound of fries
And it was all free!

Yes, the guy (who some say loves me) took my order, cooked my order, gave me my order and said "here you go" and that was that.  But I didn’t pay yet!  I’m positive he knew that.  Obviously, this was a major attempt by him to tell me something. Some will say it’s love, some will say it’s something else.
Persoanlly, I choose love.
Anyway, I flatly snubbed his advance (as you all know, I learned the hard way that love and money don’t mix) by pointing out that I hadn’t paid for my meal. "Actually, I didn’t pay for this yet," I stated, emotionless. It was like a slap in the face to a scorned lover.  Quickly recovering, he gathered whatever composure he could muster and said "Oh yeah!  Seven Dollars."
Sad, brokenhearted man.
It will be interesting to see how many fingers I get next time.

I Demand A Recount!!

This, from a press release for The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe,  listed in the latest TheatrePEI email newsletter:

Laurie Murphy, PEI’s comedian,
writer, actor, director, producer, and musician (did I forget anything? I’m sure I
did!) will no doubt be superb in this role.

My question is:  When did this election take place?  Is PEI only allowed just the one comedian, writer, actor, etc?