Boom Goes The Dynamite, Part Two

Over the past couple of years of writing sketches for Sketch22, especially since Ryan came on board as our technical wizard, one idea has popped up a couple of times.  At first, it was merely one of those “it’ll never happen, but wouldn’t it be cool” type things, and then discarded and forgotten about for a year or so.
The next time it was brought up, it wasn’t quite so quickly discarded.  We actually took a couple of minutes out of a post-show eggroll scarph to talk about logistics.  Once it was discussed, however, the idea once again put into the cupboard of things we’ll never do.
Yet, it seems to have burrowed deep into my mind, and I find myself, more and more, wanting this idea to come to fruition.  In fact, it’s become something that has to happen.  I’m to the point where I now find myself trying to come up with sketch ideas in which this singular idea would fit.
The idea:  Blow Up A Car.
And video-tape it.
For a sketch.

Having it in my brain for the past couple of months, I really want it to happen.  I want to blow up a car.  For the sake of comedy, of course.  And science.

Here’s what we have so far:
-We think we know of a location where we could most likely blow up a car safely.
-We have Ryan, who I assume knows enough about such things as to actually get it accomplished.
– All our limbs.

Here’s what we don’t have so far:
-A car to blow up.
-A valid reason to do it.

See, in terms of “what we have’s” and “what we don’t have’s”, we’re 3-2 in favour of moving forward on this project.  It must be done.

This is where you come in, dear readers.  We’ll take care of the “valid reason”.  We’ll write a video sketch that requires a car to be blown up in it.  There, that’s done.
Now, what we need from one of you is a car to blow up.  Obviously, we don’t want to blow up your new car, but if you have an old beater hanging around your front lawn, why not donate it to the cause?

Yeah!  Let’s get this done!  Let’s blow up a car!  For the sake of comedic art!  Yeah!

Don’t Know About The Music, But The CD Sucks!

Who would honestly think this is a good thing?  It’s absolutely ridiculous, if you ask me.  By taking these measures “in order for you to enjoy a high quality music experience”, they are surely alienting the very people they should be grateful to: the law-abiding CD purchaser.  Thanks for legally purchasing this music.  As a thanks, we are making this CD frustratingly restrictive.
The following is an insert of rules that is found in the latest CD from Coldplay.  
Is this the very definition of Unmitigated Gall?

THIS CD IS A COPY PROTECTED CD

Thank you very much for purchasing this CD and helping the cause of “Anti-Piracy”.  The recordings in this CD have an anti-copying function.  They cannot be copied into a PC.  In order for you to enjoy high quality music, we have added this special technology.
Before using, please first read the following:
USAGE GUIDELINES:
This CD cannot be burnt onto a CD-R or hard disk, nor can it be converted into MP3 for file sharing.
This CD has been manufactured for usage in regular CD players, but might not play in the following players:

  • Some CD players that have the capability of burning into an MP3 (such as portable players or car stereos)
  • Some CD players that possess CD-R/RW functions (such as portable players or car stereos)
  • Some car stereos with satellite “Guidance” systems
  • Some CD players or car stereos with hard disk recording capability
  • Some CD-R/RW Recorders used for music
  • Some portable CD players
  • Some DVD players
  • Some CD/LD Convertible Players
  • Some Game Players

Although you can use your PC’s Windows program to listen to certain tracks, this does not meant that the CD can be played in all PCs.

  • The first time that this program is used (in Windows automatic starter software) it gets registered in Windows *File.  Thus, programs already registered do not affect Windows * operation
  • Windows OS also uses the latest files

This CD does not support Macintosh PC software

  • Except for manufacturing problems, we do not accept product exchange, return or refund.

Basically, it’s “Thanks for being honest.  Good luck with it, and we hope you have a CD player in which this CD works.  Whether you do or not, you cannot return this CD.  Thanks, again!”

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Yeah, Yeah, I Know… A Blonde Joke

Okay, I know.  I’m blonde.  As such, I’ve heard my share of blonde jokes.  Most of them are pretty simple and not very good.

However, this blonde joke made me laugh out loud.  Yes, so much that I had to type each word:  Laugh Out Loud.

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Yeah, Yeah, I Know… A Blonde Joke

Okay, I know.  I’m blonde.  As such, I’ve heard my share of blonde jokes.  Most of them are pretty simple and not very good.

However, this blonde joke made me laugh out loud.  Yes, so much that I had to type each word:  Laugh Out Loud.

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Boom Goes The Dynamite

First of all, I feel for this guy.  I really do.  But it’s just so funny.
So funny that I had to transcribe the whole thing.  If I ever have to audition, I want this to be my audition piece.
The guy’s “yeah” at the end of the video has to be the best moment caught on video in 2005.
Here’s a link to the list of IFilm’s Best of 2005 Viral Videos.

IFilm video link to “Boom” is here, I think.

Hello everyone.  Well the Ball State softball team continued to play this weekend, and… they were hoping to continue off of their straight three out of four losses and so we’ll take a look and see how that happened…
[Cut to scoreboard]
They started off good but then eventually the Ball State Women’s Bask – Women’s team shot down and ended up doing poorly.
Oh no… and, okay… we’re gonna continue on now… The Lady’s Cardinals will play an Iowa tournament starting this Friday.  Before the Ball State baseball team kicks off its conference season this werk – this weekend, the Cards will battle in in-state rival Indiana tomorrow.  Tomorrow’s game will be the – erm – meeting between the two, beating both – erm – first – – {heavy sigh}
[20 seconds of video of baseball highlights]
Hoosiers are on the four on… on the year, and they have won six of its last seven games tomorrow, will be the game – three, at three pm.
Which – switching to Ball State Men’s tennis (empahsis on “Men’s”, implying  he was just talking about women’s tennis), it seems last – … week player – it seems every week they have a player – … (at this point he mouths either “I’m so sorry” “I’m so sucky” or “I’m so sick”)… (heavy sigh and moan)…
Matt Lawrence is the latest Cardinals’ tennis player to win the award.  Lamar(?) won all the – all the singles and doubles matches last week.  So far the Cardinals have had a player honored on the week – on the weekly awards. Seven out of the nine – seven out of the nine weeks.  The Cards will play at Boise State Invite this weekend.
The India – Indiana Pacers are looking for a measure of duh- revenge against the New Jersey Nets and to strengthen their playoff hopes.  The Nets won the last Sunday’s matchup, 94 to 85 which left the Pacers one game behind the Chicago – in the seventh series spot.  Let’s check out the highlights.
[cut to video of game highlights, several moments of no commentary, then he begins]
Steven Jacksons to David – [he was too slow to commentate on this play, then several seconds of nothing but Nets]… Reggie Miller’s lookin’ good… he shoots the three, and it’s good… [moments of just video]… later he gets the rebound, passes it to the man (“passes it to the man”??), shoots it and boom goes the dynamite.  The final scores ended up with the Pacers 63 to the Nets 61.
The Associalated Press of the All-American First Team in College Basek-Baseball was announced today at Utah’s 7 foot sophomore Centre Andrew Bugat was the leading vote-getting receiving 60 first place votes.  Bogut who is an Australian native received very little attention in the presentation – in the preseason, but averaged 20 points and 12 rebounds a game for Utah.  The four other players joining Bogut on the AP team are Senior Forward Wayne Summers (although the screen shows “Wayne Simien”) and Kansas – of Kansas, and Hakim Warrick of Syracuse, Junior Guard J.J.Redick of Duke and Sophomore – and Sophomore Guard Chris Paul of Wake Forest rebounded out the list.  (“rebounded out the list”?)
Let’s check out some other scores tonight.  (a screen comes up with a number of game scores, but he remains silent)
[cut to a panel shot of the news-team]
Lead anchor:  Okay, thanks for that look into sports, Brian.
Brian:  Yeah (this is, without question, the best resigned, defeated ‘yeah’ I’ve ever witnessed).

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Tom Green CPAC Ads

I’ll admit I was a Tom Green fan for, literally, about 7 minutes.  Just before he became big in the States.  I saw a segment of his cable show, where he went to a pharmacy and, embarassment be damned, asked all kinds of questions about condoms, to anyone who he could ask.  It was funny.  But in the short segment was contained pretty much the totality of my appreciation of Tom Green’s talents. (does that last sentence even make sense?  Maybe not, but I like it.) Since then I’ve sort of seen him as a desperate guy desperate to live up to the hype that surround(ed)s him.   His comedy is like an autistic’s scream: annoying, loud, and totally self-absorbed.
His latest foray into public awareness leaves me feeling just as empty.  Now, with the Canadian election coming up, he’s hawking, in television ads, the CPAC cable channel.  If you haven’t seen CPAC, basically it’s this:  (seemingly) unedited footage of politicians in the minutae of their day-to-day campaigns.  Pretty dry stuff, for the most part.  Yet, somehow mesmerizing.
Anyway, Tom Green, in television ads, is (I’m guessing) supposed to be enticing us, in his Wacky! way, to watch CPAC.  Only, it’s not Wacky!.  Not in the least.  It’s empty and uninspired.
I’d say “Tom Green, you can do better than that!”  but I’m not so sure he can.

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One Degree of Separation From Norway

I have become something of a fan of Norway.  Mostly because my friend Graham is from there.  So, I notice, on this internet, things that relate to Norway.
Here’s one of them:
a time lapse video of the progression of seasons in Norway
Not the most exciting view, but an interesting execution. I had always thought of doing something like this, but of course never got around to it.  By “something like this” I don’t mean travel to Norway and take a picture of the same location every day for a year, but rather, the concept of it.

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WTF? WMF vulnerability? Here’s a hotfix:

So, another hole/security issue has been discovered within Windows.  Apparently it’s a pretty nasty one, and can infect your computer through a number of avenues.  As of now, Microsoft doesn’t have any patch ready to go, but there is a temporary fix available.

Here’s the link to download the temporary patch.  Just download this link and install it.  When Microsoft finally gets around to offering their official patch, just remove this one and go with the official one.

Don’t just take my word for it (I’m just taking the word of others around the ‘net), but sounds like this one shouldn’t be ignored.  
Do your own research on this issue, and feel comfortable about installing this temporary patch before you do install it.  If you have problems as a result of the patch, don’t blame me.
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Can Ricky Williams Be Trusted To Be A Role Model?

He’s the “out there” player, Ricky Williams.  He’s the guy on the team who dances to the beat of a different drummer.  He’s on a different plane, a different course.  His attitude is rather off-the-wall.   I just don’t know if it’s sincere, or can be trusted.
Two years ago, Ricky Williams unceremoniously quit playing for the Miami Dolphins, mere weeks before the regular season was about to begin.  His move caused a season of chaos for the Dolphins, but, ultimately, caused the team to get a coach who apparently is doing great things in making the team better.  He quit, he said at the time, because he was tired of playing football, and wanted to do other things.  So, he was giving up his salary and exploring the world.  Okay, I was upset that his quitting ruined the Dolphins’ chance that year season (not they really had a chance anyway), but I was rather impressed with Ricky for making that bold decision.  Good for him, I thought, for doing what he thought he wanted.  That year, Ricky’s tour of the world was a bit surreal, from an extended camping trip in the Australian outback, to some rather flaky yoga university in upstate California, the media was all over his somewhat “hippie” lifestyle.
Somewhere in there, the news came out that his retirement may not have been quite so altruistic as originally thought.  Turns out he’d likely have been suspended for marijuana use, had he played that year.  That was likely a big reason in why he didn’t play.
Okay, so he probably lied about why he quit.  I can live with that.  He still seemed like a guy who was sincerely trying to find his place in the world.
When the Dolphins came calling him about the little matter of 6 million or so dollars that he owed them because of renigging on his contract, Ricky decided that, rather than do the bankruptcy thing, he’d play football again.  So, through a strange series of circumstances, Ricky Williams came back this year to play football for the Miami Dolphins.  How would the fans react to him?  How would the players react, those whom he bailed on a year earlier?
By all accounts, Ricky was welcomed back by all.  His play throughout the season was impressive enough, bordering on super by the end of the season.  His work-ethic, say his team-mates and coaches, has been most impressive.
And the media, well the media likes getting those off-the-wall Ricky quotes. 
He’s great for sound-bytes, because his personal philosophy just doesn’t seem to jibe with the mentality of a modern-day sports figure.  His latest bit of publicity was typical Ricky:  Because he quit on the Dolphins, he had to play this year for the league minimum salary (about $500.000).  He was recently asked if he’d be willing to play next year for the league minimum again.  He said he didn’t see a problem with it.  Hey, half a million dollars is a lot of money, and who couldn’t live comfortably on that kind of dough?  (that’s a paraphrase.  Of course, come time for his agent to try to renegotiate his contract, I’m sure Ricky will be told to sing a different tune).  Whether it’s sincere or not, it’s nice to hear a professional athlete talk like that.

Personally, I was glad to have Ricky Williams back and hope he’s a Dolphin next year too.  I just can’t fully commit to him like I did in the past, because I’ll always expect tomorrow’s headline to read:  “Williams Quits Football Again”.

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Beatles Podcasts

Last night I found a great site that offers podcasts of various Beatles related things – interviews (with ‘the lads’), news reports from the era, music selections, demos, odd bits of this and that.

It’s called Beatlegs Podcast, and you can find it by clicking on the word link

If you’re a fan of The Beatles, and you’re looking for stuff you probably haven’t heard before, then this is the podcast for you.